Film: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Morgan's class... again."
"Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action."
"The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested."
"I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls."

Review: A familiar teen movie with some unique touches. It avoids some of the worst cliches, but what makes it standout is the quality of the cast. I think it's better than American Pie which came out the same year.

"Old rule out. New rule, Bianca can date... when Kat does."
"But she's a mutant! What if she never dates?"
"Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that. And I'll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren't out being impregnated."

"I'm sure, you know, that there are lots of guys who wouldn't mind going out with a difficult woman. I mean, you know, people jump out of airplanes and ski off cliffs. It'd be like extreme dating."
"You think you could find someone that extreme?"
"Yeah, sure, why not."
"And you'd do that for me?"
"Hell, yes! I mean, you know, I could look into it."

"The situation is, my man Cameron here has a major jones for Bianca Stratford."
"What is it with this chick? She have beer-flavored nipples?"
"Hey!"

"Come to Bogey's party with me?"
"You never give up, do you?"
"Was that a yes?"
"No."
"Well, then, was that a no?"
"No."
"I'll see you at 9:30 then?!"

"I thought for sure I was busted when I was climbing out that window, I tell you. So, how did you keep him distracted?"
"I dazzled him with my... wits."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Blu-Ray


Review: I haven't seen this in almost twenty years. I enjoyed the songs and animation, but the love story between Belle and the Beast feels rushed. I wish they could have spent more time developing the growing attraction between them. The villain, Gaston, is great.

Quotes:
"So, you've come to stare at the BEAST, have you?"

"This is the day your dreams come true."
"What do you know about my dreams, Gaston?"
"Plenty! Here, picture this: A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire, and my little wife massaging my feet, while the little ones play on the floor with the dogs. We'll have six or seven."
"Dogs?"
"No, Belle! Strapping boys, like me!"

"You'll come out, or I'll-I'll-I'll break down the door!"
"Master, I could be wrong, but that might not be the best way to win the girl's affections."
"Please. Attempt to be a gentlemen."
"But, she's being so DIFFICULT!"

"Aaargh! That hurts!"
"If you'd hold still, it wouldn't hurt as much!"
"Well if you hadn't have run away, this wouldn't have happened."
"If you hadn't frightened me, I wouldn't have run away!"

"She's as crazy as the old man. The beast will make off with your children. He will come after them in the night. We are not safe until his head is mounted on my wall. I say we kill the BEAST!"

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: Chris Rock - Bring the Pain (1996)

DVD: 1 Disc


"You know what's sad? Here's something wild, Martin Luther King stood for non-violence. Now what is Martin Luther King? A street. I don't give a fuck where you are in America, if you're on Martin Luther King Boulevard, there's some violence going down. It ain't the safest place to be. And you can't call someone and tell them you are lost on MLK. 'Hey, I'm lost on Martin Luther King.' 'RUN! RUN! RUN!'"

Review: This is the stand-up routine that made me sit-up and recognize Chris Rock as a talented comedian instead of the annoying comic on Saturday Night Live with all the bad skits. This is probably the best stand-up comedy concert ever filmed, even better than Eddie's "Raw" and "Delirious". It is hilarious but also tackles taboo subjects with amazing deftness.

"They was interviewing a brother in there, they said now, 'Sir, when a new inmate comes in and he wants some drugs, how do you initiate him?' The guy goes, 'Well, the first thing I do is make him toss my salad.' The guy's like, 'Toss my salad? What's that?' The guy: 'Well, having your salad tossed means having your asshole eaten out with jelly or with syrup. I prefer syrup.' I'm not making this up!"

"Men don't have platonic friends. Okay. We just have women we haven't fucked YET. As soon as I figure this out, I'm in there. I mean, I got some platonic friends, but they're all by accident. Every platonic friend I got is someone I was trying to fuck, made a wrong turn somewhere, and ended up in the friend zone."

"Women are trying to be good, but not too good. Sometimes, women have to ration out the pussy. They want men to think they got a good women, but they don't want them to think they got a freak. They got to ration out the pussy. Okay, I'll fuck him now, but I won't suck his dick for two weeks. All right, I'll suck his dick, but I won't lick his balls till next week. All right, I'll lick his balls, but I won't lick his ass till next year. See men, we got to use all our tricks right away, whatever we got, just give whatever. We can't hold nothing back. We don't know if there will be any return engagements. So we got to... go.. for... it."

"It's hard not to cheat. Women don't want to hear that shit. It's hard not to cheat. You know why it's hard not to cheat? Women like guys who are in a relationship. Guys know what I'm talking about. When you're single, nobody was thinking about your ugly ass. Then your women got a hold of you; cut your hair, washed you down, gave you a lifesaver, wiped all the crust out of your eye. Now everybody wants to fuck ya. When you were single, no one was calling your ass up. Now your phone is ringing off the hook. Crazy, freaky sex talk, like 'Hey, what are you doing? You know, me and my girlfriend are having a dick sucking contest and we thought you would be a good judge."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Open Range (2003)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"You know, folks in Fort Harmon country don't take to free grazers or free grazing. They hate them more than they used to hate the Indians."
"I expect by 'folks', you mean ranchers like yourself."
"There ain't no free-graze cattle gonna take the feed off my cattle on this range."
"Free graze is legal."
"Times change, Mr. Spearman. Most folks change with them. A few holdouts never do."

Review: The highlight of this film is the final shoot-out, one of the best ever. It is a long film, but the only time the pacing dragged was in the budding relationship between Kevin Costner and Annette Bening's characters. The last scene between them before the fight was redundant. Robert Duvall was great as ever and the cinematography was excellent.

"Way I figure it, we can leave the cattle and run, or you and me can go in the dark and stop them before they scatter the herd."
"You reckon them cows are worth getting killed over?"
"The cows are one thing. But one man telling another where he can go in this country's something else."

"You the one killed our friend?"
"That's right?"

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Charlie Wilson's War (2007)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Why is Congress saying one thing and doing nothing?"
"Well, tradition mostly."

Review: This film reveals a relatively unknown chapter of the Cold War, how a Congressman used his position to fund a covert operation to drive the Soviets out of Afghanistan. The excellent script by Aaron Sorkin is tight, funny & informative all at the same time. Mike Nichols got great performances out of Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

"Unless I am wrong, and that would be unusual for me, you sit at the intersection of the State Department, the Pentagon and the CIA. You meet in a soundproof room underneath the Capitol, and you preside over a secret and unlimited budget for the three agencies you would need to conduct a covert war. Isn't that right?"
"I also have seats at the Kennedy Center."

"I've been with the company for 24 years. I was posted in Greece for 15. Papandreou wins that election if I didn't help the junta take him prisoner. I've advised and armed the Hellenic Army. I've neutralized champions of Communism. I've spent the past three years learning Finnish! Which should come in handy here in Virginia!! And I'm never, ever, sick at sea. So I want to know why I'm not gonna be your Helsinki Station Chief."
"You're coarse."
"Excuse me?"
"For Helsinki, I need someone with diplomatic skills. You don't have them."
"Is that right?"
"That is right. And I don't know why the hell I didn't fire you when you broke my fucking window."

"How did it go?"
"Well, there were three of them. It was like getting slapped around by a Pakistani vaudeville team. You know you've pretty much hit rock bottom when you've been told you have character flaws by a man who hanged his predecessor in a military coup."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Play It to the Bone (2000)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"This is Joe, fellas. You guys ever take a fight on short notice?"
"How short?"
"Six o'clock tonight. I need two guys. You put on a really good show... You guys never fought each other, right?"
"Well, for money you mean?"

Review: I didn't care for this movie the first time I saw it, but now I love it. Ron Shelton does the same thing for boxing in this film that he did for baseball and golf in "Bull Durham" and "Tin Cup". I like that he casts and writes for attractive, older women. Lolita Davidovich is just as perfect as Susan Sarandon and Rene Russo were in his earlier movies. Woody Harrelson and Antonio Banderas have good chemistry as two over-the-hill fighters with one last chance for a title shot.

"I don't know if I can fight him. You know, I'm afraid I'm gonna freeze up and pull my punches. You know? We're tight. It's like... Uh, the worst thing you wanna feel in the ring is compassion."
"Vince, all you need is the bell."

"Grace, if you have to bet on tonight's fight, uh, who do you think is gonna win? Me or Vince? No bullshit about it."
"He's gonna kick your ass."
"No."
"Too much experience."
"I'm quicker."
"He can take a punch. He'll slip your jab, work your body and he's a great counterpuncher. I'm sorry, Ces. Just circle to the left and you'll be okay."
"Circle to the left."
"Yeah."
"Well... But, uh, who is the better lover? Me or Vince?"
"No contest. You."

"How old are you?"
"Twenty."
"Another five years, you're gonna be sucked out, fucked out, doped out, lookin' for a handout."
"Oh, but what a five years, huh?"

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: American Dad! - Volume 4 (2008)

DVD: 3 Discs


Review: "Tearjerker" was a fun Bond spoof and "Choosy Wives Choose Smith" was hilarious.

Quotes:
"How can you buddy up to Julie after what you did to her husband?!"
"You're the one who wanted me to share. You said you didn't want to listen anymore. So I found someone who does."
"Really? And did you tell your new best friend your deep, dark secret?"
"Are you kidding? She'd go straight to the CIA! They'd designate me a blabbermouth, kill me, grind me up and mix me into the local baloney supply! Not... Not that the CIA does that... You should keep eating baloney. It's good for you."

"Sorry I gagged you. I was going to gag you with a spoon. You know, sort of an '80s throwback. But then I thought, 'Who's that for? Who am I doing that for?'"

"Kill. [Stamp] Kill. [Stamp] Don't Kill. [Stamp] Hey, I went to to High School with this guy! Kill. [Stamp]"

"I dreamed of coming to Langley Falls, Stan. Because I vowed, 'The West stole my son, so I will steal your son... for Communism!'"
"That'll never happen! Steve's an American boy! He's made of my American juices, baked in his mother's American oven!"

"Your mom's enthusiastic spending is exactly what Jesus had in mind when he invented capitalism."

"There's your alien, men! I pooped him out!"
"What? You said I'd get away! You sold me out! I trusted you!"
"I don't know what he's talking about. He'll say anything to save his life. We'd better cut him up immediately."
"No! Kill him instead! He's been harboring me! I've been living in his..."
"...large intestine. It was terrible. I though kidney stones were bad."
"Nice work, Smith. I assume you'll want some days off to nurse your devastated bunghole."

"I'm sorry, that was unprofessional. I've been a bit consumed with one of my other patients. He's a complicated teenaged drug addict who's being molested... by me."

"Stan, can you please talk to your daughter. Look at her!"
"My God! Get that slut shrapnel out of your face this instant!"
"It's just a nose ring."
"It's a gateway piercing. Next thing you know, you'll have a bone for your lip like one of those rain forest people that Sting is always whining about."

"Have you ever been beaten naked in a gym shower, Stan? One day, when I was showering after gym class, these mean pretty girls caught me and kept scrubbing me all over with soap. I mean, they didn't miss a spot! And even though we were all wet and naked and slippery, they were still able to get me on all fours, and shove my face to the floor! Can you imagine, Stan?"
"How'd they catch you again?"

"Well, I'd rather be acting crazy than feeling crazy. That's good, Stan. I'm gonna write that down when we land. Oh, already forgot it."

"Have fun, you two!"
"Don't worry, we will! 'Cause we're finally going all the way! Doin' it, doin' it, d-d-doin' it! Should we break for lunch? Nope! Let's keep doin' it, doin' it! Someone's at the door! I don't care! We're doin' it, doin' it! Wanna put on our hikin' boots? Yeah! We'll wear 'em while we're doin' it, doin' it! I like the rhythm, it is my method."

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: American Dad! - Volume 3 (2007)

DVD: 3 Discs


"He's an unregistered visitor."
"You mean an illegal alien?!"
"What happened to the 'land of the free'? These people have a right to be here."
"People? They're parasites sucking on the rich blood of America... and we need that blood to shed for oil."

Review: Another great season of American Dad. Patrick Stewart is great as Stan's CIA boss.

"What a boob!"
"What was that, Steve?"
"Uh, I, uh... I asked Hayley if I could squeeze her boob."
"I love it when you kids get along."

"Stan, enough. This day isn't about you and your lies. It's about Roger and his lies."

"You may be beautiful on the outside like Kevin Bacon, but you're ugly on the inside like Tommy Lee Jones... on the outside. And the inside."

"Come on, people! Give me one original way to assassinate somebody and we can all go home."
"I got it! Okay. First, we hire a midget..."
"I'm listening."

"All right, target identified. Let's bring on the charm."
"Hi, I'm..."
"INTERCOURSE!!"
"Excuse me?"
"Intercourse! I going to have intercourse with you! I'm divorced. It's fine... God, I guess I'm a little rusty. Need to ease into it a bit... FOREPLAY, then intercourse!"

"Steve doesn't know how to be a man. Who's gonna take over when I'm enjoying a glorious Reagan-style slide into dementia?"

"We're so glad to have you, Hayley. I know it's not easy to pose nude."
"Maybe for some people. But I am a proud and evolved woman. And I have nothing to be ashamed of."
"Nice, does anyone have any more areola pink? I only have one tube."

"Hayley, take the hand of your new boyfriend, Dill. Look aroused! Ten percent more aroused. Scale it back two percent. Ah, young love."

"Do you know how many babies a year are born without an anus?"
"That's it. No more WebMD for you."

"Steve, it's a beautiful afternoon. Shouldn't you be outside with your friends turning my toolshed into Mordor... or Endor or... something heartbreaking?"

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: American Dad! - Volume 2 (2005-2006)

DVD: 3 Discs


"Why did you cheat?"
"I'm sorry. It's just creative writing is hard. I can't do it."
"Can't? We don't live in Ameri-can't, Steve. We live in Ameri-ca. No, wait. We live in Ameri-can. No, wait. That's not right. We are American. Where... Where was I going with this?"
"Um, I said creative writing is hard."
"Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh, perseverance, Steve. It's all about perseverance. And if I Ameri-can't teach you about it, I have a friend who Ameri-will. Well, that sounded good. Had a bumpy start there, but I think I pulled it together."

Review: A hilarious series about a right-wing conservative who works for the CIA and his family which includes an alien. Any episode focusing on Stan and Roger are comedy gold. "Roger 'n' Me, "Lincoln Lover" and "Dungeons and Wagons" are classic episodes.

"When did you stop loving Mommy?"
"What?"
"Cause if you loved me, you wouldn't want me to have ugly hair. But do what makes you happy. I have to go put some ointment on that hideous cesarean scar I have because of you."
"But Hayley was the cesarean."
"Oh, that's right. With you, I just tore from my V to my A. Good night."

"Haley, what the hell is that?"
"My animal rights group rescued him from a product testing lab. These poor creatures are being shampooed up to 10 times a day!"
"Get it the hell out of here!"
"I can't. Everyone's counting on me to give it sanctuary until its hair loses its volume and luster."

"Stan, it's great the C.I.A. gave you that $20,000 bonus for 'Most Evasive Testimony to Congress'. But at this rate, it'll be gone in no time."
"Hey, if I don't buy all this crap, the terrorists win. And don't tell it's not a competition, because it so is."

"You got a best buddy? Can I be your second best buddy?"
"Let's see. How do I hang an air freshener on this? You are a total waste of space. I often dream of killing you... Ah, mountain pine."

"Stan might be an insensitive feelings hurter... but he'd never cheat on you."
"It's not Stan I'm worried about. It's the female 'entertainment' I don't trust. Men throw a little cash at 'em, they do anything. Then sometimes, when you're on the floor with another girl, guys will throw money, then pick it up and throw the same singles out there again. Like I'm an idiot! Like I don't have peripheral vision!"

"God, look at me, I'm hideous."
"Stan, you've been working out for three weeks. You look great."
"Great, as is great big fatso. You know, this is how it starts, Francine. First, you go soft in the belly. Then you go soft in defense. Next thing you know, you're wearing a towel on your head and using your left hand for toilet paper. Well, not in my America."

"We're coming from our gay Republican meeting."
"You're a Republican!"
"Honey, I can explain..."
"Oh, you didn't know? Oh, that's... that's funny. Gay couples lie to each other just like regular couples. Well, bye."
"All these years you been a Republican?"
"Listen, calm down. We'll go inside and..."
"I am not calming down. For God's sake, Republicans are the people who say we can't get married."
"And right now, I want to send them a big thank you basket from the Body Factory."
"Don't tell me you voted for 'He Who Shall Not Be Named'!"
"Look, the war was inevitable, freedom isn't free."
"Are you kidding me!!!!!"

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: American Dad! - Volume 1 (2005)

3 Discs


Review: American Dad is the show that Seth MacFarlane created after Family Guy was cancelled the first time. While I didn't care for it at first, it quickly grew on me during this 1st season with the character of Roger the Alien. It is much more story-driven than the joke-filled randomness of Family Guy.

Quotes:
"This is Stan Smith."
"Mr. Smith, I'm afraid there's a problem with your son."
"Oh, God, he's gay. This is it. This is the gay call. I've been ready for this for years."

"What makes you think you're going to survive?"
"My species is immune to all human ailments."
"So explain that cold sore."
"Mind your own business!"

"You get back here, Hayley! No? Well, I didn't want to had to use this, but... Rhubarb!"
""Rhubarb?"
"Hmm, that's her trigger word; I had her brainwashed at five. She's supposed to kill Walter Mondale, but I guess it didn't take."

"My mother stole my boyfriend!"
"Your boyfriend stole my wife! Let's get back at them by dating each other... Wait a minute, Daddy didn't think that through."

"Stupid gas-guzzler... that I as an American have every right to drive."

"So, what part of Islam do you hail from?"
"Well, my parents were from Iran, but I was born in Cleveland."
"Really? You know, we also have a Cleveland here in America. And it'd be just super if you didn't blow it up."

"Let 'em go, Stan! It's been a fun ride, but it's over!"
"Oh, not this old bit. You point a gun at me, I pretend I'm gonna do what you say, then I pull out my gun, we do our little John Woo standoff, inevitably your arm gets tired, then you drop your gun and we have nobody-got-shot sex... Where are you...? Francine! Well, why did you pull a gun on me if you didn't want to have sex?!"

"I promise I'll help you find a safe way to socialize with humans."
"That'd be great, Hayley. I feel so cooped up in this place. It's like a prison, except without the thrill of a daily cavity search... Did I say thrill? I meant fear."

"Jeff, that's a corn-dog! We're vegetarian!"
"Still?"

"Oh, God, we're all going to die... and our lives meant nothing, absolutely nothing! I mean... uh, something comforting."

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: Charles in Charge - 2nd Season (1987)

DVD: 3 Discs


"The new boy in the neighborhood,"
"Lives downstairs and it's understood."
"He’s there just to take good care of me,"
"Like he’s one of the family."

"Charles in Charge"
"Of our days and our nights."
"Charles in Charge"
"Of our wrongs and our rights."

"And I sing, I want, I want,"
"Charles in Charge of me!"

Review: This is a guilty pleasure show starting with the revamped second season where they brought in the Powell family and changed the theme song to the more familiar sound. It's very cheesy, but I love it. Willie Aames is great as Buddy.

"He's gonna do my math homework. He's gonna clean my room. Look at him. Isn't this great! We own this guy. He's gonna do whatever we tell him."
"Go to bed!"

"How do I look?"
"Wash your face and burn those clothes."
"Too much rouge?"

"Charles, wait. Adam saw a nude model?"
"Uh, yeah. Mrs. Powell, I'm really sorry."
"It's partly my fault. I made you take Adam to the class. But when Rebbecca started to take off her clothes, the three of you could have walked out, couldn't you?"
"No!"

"Maybe this will refresh your libido. I submit a photograph of... Ta Da, the Defulvio sisters."
"Buddy, look, there are not enough hours in the day for me to eat, sleep, study and to meet these girls. Now I hate to say it, but I, umm... I, umm, going to have to give up sleeping."

"What about the student loan I have right now, the one that is supposedly under review?"
"Charles, let me explain something. From now on, the only way you're going to get any new government money is to declare yourself a third world country and flirt with communism."

"All I can say is phooey!"
"I know exactly how you feel, Mrs. Powell. When I heard they cancelled Charles' loan, I also said the F-word."
"P-H"
"Huh?"
"Phooey starts with P-H."
"I know."

"Buddy, let me ask you something? How important is this play to you?"
"How important is a parachute to a skydiver? How important is water to a carp? How important is balls... to a tennis player?"

"Sarah, this is important. Choosing the right lipstick is crucial. According to American Teen Magazine, your lips are your second greatest asset."
"What's my first?"
"You don't have them yet."

"If I forget one little thing I get in trouble."
"That's because you always do things right, Sarah. You're conscientious. People expect it of you. Jamie, on the other hand, is a little like me, cute and friendly but kind of a flake."
"Thanks a lot, Buddy!"
"It just isn't fair. Maybe I'll try being a flake for awhile."
"Nah, I don't think it would work. You see, good flakes are born, not made."

"C'mere Adam. Have a seat. What are you going to do with the tennis ball can?"
"Kevin and I are going to use it after school. Mom said it was okay."
"Oh, and what are you planning to put in the can?"
"Nothing, just some old rags."
"And maybe a little lighter fluid?"
"Yeah!"
"Then you strike a match and, POW, the tennis ball can is launched into outer space!"
"You know about that?"
"Uncle Buddy knows everything. Forget it Adam, your launch has been aborted."

"Okay, tell me again, exactly what she said."
"She said, I want your body."
"Ah, the most beautiful words in the English language."

4 out of 4 Stars

Film: Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Pretend that she's real? I'm just not gonna do it."
"It's not really a choice."
"Okay. Okay, all right, we'll do it, whatever it takes. But everyone's gonna laugh at him."
"And you."

Review: This is a small town movie about a extremely shy young man who lives with his brother and sister-in-law. When he purchases a Real Doll and introduces it as his penpal girlfriend from Brazil, they decide to play along when they realize it is enabling him to open up more. Most of the effective comedy comes from watching the townfolks reactions, but the film is also an excellent character study.

"It's such a comfort sometimes, just to have somebody's arms around you. Don't you think?"
"No."
"It feels good."
"It does not feel good. It, it hurts."
"Oh, like a cut, or bruise?"
"Like a burn. Like when you go outside and your feet freeze and you come back in and then they thaw out? It's like that. It's almost exactly like that."
"Same with everyone?"
"Uh, not really with Bianca. But everyone else."

"Um, is there something I should be doing right now?"
"No, dear. You eat."
"We came over to sit."
"That's what people do when tragedy strikes."
"They come over, and sit."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"I'm telling you, I didn't steal any money from her! She gave it to me."
"Well she filed a complaint, Monsieur."
"She caught me with another woman! C'mon, you're French, you understand that!"
"To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American."

Review: I wish they still made comedies like this, if they do I haven't noticed them. This is the first film that I saw with Michael Caine and he is perfect as the sauve british confidence man who preys on the rich tourists along the French Riveria. When the crass Steve Martin invades his turf, he uses all his tricks to try and force him out of town, before they finally decide to settle their disagreements with a high-stakes bet.

"Freddy, as a younger man, I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. There was just one problem. I wasn't very good. As a matter of fact, I was dreadful. I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent. I knew my limitations. We all have our limitations, Freddy. Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style were commodities that people desired. Freddy, what I am saying is, know your limitations. You are a moron."

"I believe she is the United States Soap Queen."
"Okay, how much?"
"She's a little young, isn't she?"
"Out of your league?"
"All right, I'll make it easy for you, $50,000."
"50,000 dollars!!?"
"Out of your league?"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"You may find Narnia a more savage place than you remember."

Review: This sequel is as well filmed as the first, but Prince Caspian was always one of my least favorite of the Narnia books so it wasn't as emotional as the last movie. Peter Dinklage as Trumpkin and Sergio Castellitto as King Miraz were standouts. I am looking forward to the third film, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, my favorite Narnia book.

"I am High King Peter the Magnificent."
"You probably could have left off the last bit."
"Heh, heh, heh. Probably."

"We've anxiously awaited your return, my liege. Our hearts and swords are at your service."
"Oh my god, he's so cute."
"Who said that?!!"
"Um, sorry."

"There is still time to surrender."
"Well, feel free."
"How many more must die for the throne?"
"Just one."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Pitch Black (2000)

DVD: Anamorphic


"He just escaped from a maximum prison."
"So do we just keep him locked up forever?"
"Well, that would be my choice."
"Is he really that dangerous?"
"Only around humans."

Review: This is an excellent sci-fi horror film about a transport ship crashlanding on a sun-blasted planet with deadly underground creatures who must remain in the dark. I forgive the coincidences of them crashing so close to an abandoned settlement on the eve of an eclipse because that is all just window dressing for the main conflict between the passengers trying to escape. Vin Diesel is great as the dangerous convict who must help out for them all to survive, but trust issues quickly surface.

"Excuse me, I think you should see this."
"Three suns?"
"Bloody Hell."
"So much for your nightfall."
"So much for my cocktail hour."

"Why don't you shut your fucking mouth for two seconds and let me come up with a plan that doesn't involve mass suicide!"
"I'm waiting... How much you weigh, Johns?"
"What's it matter, Carolyn?"
"How much?"
"Around 79 kilos, to be exact."
"Cause you're 79 kilos of gutless white meat. That's why you can't think of a better plan."

"Like I said, it ain't me you gotta worry about."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Late for Dinner (1991)

DVD: Anamorphic?


"What the hell are you doing? That's three-ply vinyl! Phyllis, get Dwayne in here. This lunatic is marring my furniture."
"Oh yeah, watch this."
"Dwayne! He's on my shag! He's on my... I got that in Vegas!"

Review: I am sad to say that this movie is not as good as I remembered it, not bad but not great. Two brothers escaping from a unscrupulous land dealer in 1962 are frozen and woken back up in 1991 where they try to reunite with their family. Peter Berg is good as the slow brother with kidney problems tricked into the cryogenic chamber. His emotional performance saves the movie from mediocrity.

"Frank, I'm peeing green here. What did that man do to us? Makes me fearful about doing the big job."

"Are you mad at me?"
"Frank?!"
"You always have to love a brother, no matter what, right?"
"C'mere, Frank."

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Collateral (2004)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"How long you think this'll take?"
"Seven minutes."
"Seven. Not eight? Not six?"
"Two minutes from the 110 to Normandie. Normandie to Venice, three minutes. Over to Union is one, plus one for 'shit happens'."
"Okay if I time you?"
"Knock yourself out."
"What do I get if you're wrong? A free ride?"
"An apology. Already offered my free ride today."

Review: This is another of Michael Mann's films that get better with each viewing. Tom Cruise gets a chance to play the villain and makes one of his best films. He plays a hitman who coerces a cab driver to drive him around the city all night as he completes his 5 tasks. Jamie Foxx is good as the other side of the complicated relationship that grows between them. Los Angeles at night has never been filmed so beautifully.

"He's not paying you a damn thing."
"Who the hell is this?"
"Albert Ricardo, Assistant U.S. Attorney, a passenger in this cab, and I'm reporting you to the D.M.V."
"Let's not, oh, let's not get excited."
"Not get excited? How am I supposed to not get excited? Listen, you try to extort a working man. You know goddamn well your collision policy and general liability umbrella will cover the damages. And what are you trying to pull, you sarcastic prick?"

"Why didn't you just kill me and get another cab driver?"
"Cause you're good. We're in this together. Fates intertwined. Cosmic coincidence, you know... all that crap."
"You're full of shit."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Constantine (2005)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"You are going to die young because you smoked 30 cigarettes a day since you were 15. And you're going to go to hell because of the life you took... You're fucked."

Review: This is Keanu Reeves best film since the first Matrix. He is good as the jaded demon hunter trying to buy his way back into heaven before he dies of lung cancer. The story is well-told with an excellent ensemble of actors and it has a great ending.

"Yesterday, I saw a soldier demon trying to chew its way out through a little girl."
"Listen, John, demons stay in hell, angels in heaven. The great détente of the original superpowers."
"Thanks for the history lesson, Midnite. You've been a tremendous help."

"So, do I have to take the rest of my clothes off or can I leave them on? John?"
"I'm thinking..."

"No. You will live, John Constantine. You will live so you will have the chance to prove that your soul truly belongs in hell. Oh, you will live. You will live."

4 out of 5 Stars

Iraq Parliament Elections

I got my question answered about the Iraq Election from the Baghdad Bureau of the At War, Notes from the Front Line blog on the New York Times.

Reader Q. and A. on the Iraq Elections
By ANTHONY SHADID

As the results from Iraq’s March 7 elections finally coalesce, our Baghdad correspondent Anthony Shadid is responding to readers’ questions about the election, its outcome, and the likely winners and losers in the complex negotiations that are certain to follow. Mr. Shadid joined The New York Times earlier this year after winning the Pulitzer Prize in 2004 for his Iraq coverage.

Q. Will the parties be able to use the number of seats they win in Kirkuk right away in negotiating for a coalition, since they are only provisional according to the Election Law? Will those Kirkuk seats be able to cast votes in Parliament before they are finally confirmed? Will this affect the Parliament’s vote for president, prime minister and speaker?
Noah
San Diego

A. All these are possible. My sense is that you won’t see any breakthrough – in ways good or bad – any time soon in Kirkuk. The Kurds, of course, could protest their showing in Kirkuk, but I there’s enough American engagement there right now to head off any conflict. That won’t be the case long term. My sense is that the election will solidify a balance of power that promotes a temporary status quo, with a pledge to negotiate long-term sovereignty in, say, seven years or so. On your question about the seats themselves, nothing is confirmed until the results are certified, so Kirkuk’s representation will await the seating of everyone else. The seats themselves will probably fall in line with larger coalitions that are gathered to name a prime minister. Kirkuk is a little different, since there is a provision to allow a challenge of the voter rolls, but in the end, I’m not sure that challenge will affect the final balance of the seats.

Film: Observe and Report (2009)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"You! I know what you did. You set me up. You left me out there. That's all there is to it. Admit it."
"Yeah. I set you up. What are you gonna do about it, huh, Ronald? What are you gonna do?"
"I'm gonna thank you."
"What are you talking about?"
"I knew you wanted to see if I had the chops to become a police officer and I did it, man. I did it and there are six dead crackheads that can confirm that. Thank you, Detective Harrison. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for believing in me. Get used to seeing Ronnie Barnhardt around here."

Review: This is a hilarious dark comedy that consistently twists the expected outcome in every scene. Seth Rogan is excellent as a mall cop who is arrogant and delusional but has strong principles. A store robbery and a serial pervert flashing women in the parking lot gives him the opportunity to prove himself in the eyes of the police and the hot girl at the cosmetics counter. But both think he is an annoying idiot.

"Oh, Brandi! Brandi! Oh, God, Brandi! Brandi... Brandi?"
"Why are you stopping, motherfucker?"
"Oh, sorry. Oh, God, I'm sorry."

"Let's go. We'll talk about it, but you gotta get out."
"You can go outside. This is my world."
"We don't want to hurt you, Ronnie. You wanna get hurt?"
"You didn't bring enough pigs to stop me."

"I just want you to know, I'm ready to make a change."
"You gonna stop drinking?"
"I'm switching to beer. I can pound those all day and still keep my shit together. And I'm doing it for you."
"I'm so proud of you, Mom."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Dexter - 1st Season (2006)

DVD: 4 Discs - Enhanced 16x9


"My name is Dexter. Dexter Morgan. I don't know what made me the way I am, but what ever it was left a hollow place inside. People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well... But that's my burden, I guess. I don't blame my foster parents for that. Harry and Dorris Morgan did a wonderful job raising me. But they're both dead now. I didn't kill them... Honest."

Review: Amazing show! I went out right away and bought the DVD after watching it for the first time. Dexter is a serial killer who only hunts other murderers. He works as a forensic scientist for the Miami police department and the first season deals with the hunt for the Ice Truck Killer who likes to play games with Dexter. After every episode, I couldn't wait to see the next one.

"Harry was a great cop here in Miami. He taught me how to think like one; he taught me how to cover my tracks. I'm a very neat monster."

"No blood. No sticky, hot, messy, awful blood. No blood at all. Why hadn't I thought of that? No blood. What a beautiful idea."

"The only real question I have is why in a building full of cops, all supposedly with a keen insight into the human soul, is Doakes the only one who gets the creeps from me?"

"I suppose I should be upset, even violated, but I'm not. No, in fact, I think this is a friendly message. Kind of like, Heh, want to play. And yes, I want to play. I really, really do."

"Jorge Castillo. Number three on the department's list of suspects, but the only one even remotely close to the park where Molino was supposed to drop the money. They never got enough evidence for a search warrant, but I don't need permission to keep an eye on this guy. No neighbors, no foot traffic. It's promising. A good place for human trafficking... or worse."

"The worst thing about finally putting together a puzzle is finding there are missing pieces. He came back and left nothing behind but a message. Come find me... and I will."

"You're shaking. What the hell happened up there?"
"Um, I'm okay. I just need a little air."
"Well, something finally got to you. I guess you're human after all."
"Cut him some slack, all right."
"I hate to disappoint you, but I think it's just low blood sugar."
"Tell us what you saw, Dex. How many dead?"
"A lot. But no bodies, just blood. Maybe fifty, sixty liters."

"You have better have a hell of a reason for being here."
"I'm looking for my sister."
"In a cargo box?"
"Yeah, I'm kinda working on a theory."
"Did you forget you work for the cops? We love theories. C'mon, spin me a story, asshole."
"What I do on my time is my business, Sergeant."
"Yeah, me too and I'm on my time now. There is no lieutenant here to save you're ass. So don't fuck with me, Morgan."
"Okay, you got me. I ordered some furniture from Thailand and I was waiting for it to be delivered."

"Okay, Deb, don't be dead."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Gangs of New York (2002)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"Ears and noses will be the trophies of the day. But no hand shall touch him! NO HAND SHALL TOUCH HIM! He'll cross over whole in honor."

Review: The first three quarters of this movie is perfect, but the last bit after Amsterdam is exposed seems rushed and unfocused. I've heard there is a longer cut that fixes this problem, but it may just be a rumor.

This movie about ethnic gangs in New York during the Civil War is an entertaining slice of the city's history. Daniel Day-Lewis is amazing as Bill the Butcher, a horrifying but fascinating figure. An Oscar-worthy performance. Jim Broadbent is excellent as well as the corrupt William Tweed.

"Mulberry Street... and Worth... Cross and Orange... and Little Water. Each of the Five Points is a finger. When I close my hand it becomes a fist. And, if I wish, I can turn it against you."

"On the seventh day the Lord rested, but before he did that, he squatted over the side of England and what came out of him... was Ireland. No offense son."

"We're burying a lot of votes down here tonight."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: She's Out of Control (1989)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Who was that kid?"
"Andy, from down the street."
"Nah, nah, nah. The one in the skirt."
"Doug, she cannot stay a little girl forever. She's growing up. This did not happen overnight. It's been coming on for months. She asked me to help her."
"You didn't have to!"

Review: An enjoyable film about a father stressed out when his daughter blossoms into a beautiful teenager. Tony Danza plays the type of role he perfected on "Who's the Boss?" It's fun seeing Matthew Perry as the predatory boyfriend and Wallace Shawn as the psychiatrist.

"Start at the beginning. Read it carefully. It'll just possibly have all the answers to your problems. But you can call me any hour of the day, if you have a question."
"Thank you! Thank you, Dr. Fishbinder."
"Oh, just one more thing."
"Yeah?"
"Just in case you're a slow reader, better put your daughter on the pill."
"What?"
"Right away."

"Oh, set him up and shoot him down, huh? Who's next?"
"Dad, what are you talking about?"
"What am I talking about? Take a good look, Katie. That cute, adorable face staring back at you is not a weapon. Don't think about it as a weapon, Katie, because it's not. I mean, if it was a weapon, it could backfire. Trust me."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Very Bad Things (1998)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"If you take away the horror of the scene, take away the tragedy of the death, take away all the moral and ethical implications that have been drilled into your head since grade one, do you know what you're left with? A 105-pound problem that needs to be moved from point A to point B."

Review: A well-crafted black comedy about a bachelor party gone wrong, very wrong. After a prostitute is accidentally killed in the suite of a Las Vegas hotel, events swing wildly out of control as five friends try to cover it up. Compounding guilt, anger and paranoia explodes as they turn on each other.

"You left a dead prostitute alone in the desert?"
"She's not alone..."

"I'm like a lighthouse! I stayed lit for you man! I never go dark. Never go dark!"

4 out of 5 Stars