Film: The Flamingo Kid (1984)

Blu-Ray

Review: This film stars a young Matt Dillon, who plays a recent high school graduate who gets a summer job at a Long Island Beach Club in the early 60's. While working as a cabana boy and playing gin rummy with his buddies, he falls under the influence of a rich club member who convinces him to skip college and go into sales at his car dealership. It is a good movie about a young man trying to distance himself from his working class family and neighborhood as he grows used to his new surroundings. Hector Elizondo is great as the father struggling with losing his son as well as Richard Crenna playing the smooth-talking mentor to Jeffrey.

Quotes:
"Where is he?"
"He's using the facility."
"I don't know this boy, Phil. He could be doing anything in there."
"What do you think he's doing? You think he's stealing soap?"

"Come on, let's go for a spin."
"In this?"
"No, you don't drive this on the road. It's got no windshield. You get bugs in your teeth."
"Oh, yeah. Sure."
"You ever hit a bug going 180 miles an hour? Believe me, it's not a thrill. For you or the bug."

"The salesman of this world make the money. Remember that."
"Yeah. Yeah. You're right."
"The reason I'm telling you this is I've been watching you. You know what I've seen so far spells?"
"What?"
"Salesman."

"There you are, Mrs. Brody. Straight vodka on the rocks in a wine glass. Is there anything else you'd like me to get you?"
"A gun."
"Well, I'll check the snack bar to see if they have a gun but you might have to settle for a club sandwich."
"Cute, Jeffrey, cute... This is my life. Being amused by a cabana boy."

"There only two important things in living - finding out what you do well and finding out what makes you happy. And if God is smiling on you, they're both the same thing."

"See, Arthur, boys grow up only once. Jeffrey works very hard. Tonight he wants to go to the track with his friends. Let him go."
"Stop it."
"Excuse me?"
"What are you telling me about my son? How can you tell me about my son? This is my son, not yours."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that he was going to go to college, my son, before he met you and got all these silly ideas about selling cars is what I'm saying."

"I think I'm gonna be sick."
"Well, don't do it on my shirt."
"It's your shirt that's making me sick."

"I told them."
"What are you talking about? You told them what?"
"Well, I had to. About you and Big Sid. Your scam. You can't go around screwing your friends, Mr. Brody."

"Summer's over. I'm just standing here watching another ship boxing its compass and venturing out to sea."
"It's nice to know that it can go home if it needs to."
"If it talks nice to the lighthouse keeper, he can always come home."
"Yeah, well, maybe if the lighthouse keeper didn't yell so much..."
"Well, the reason the lighthouse keeper yells... WHAT THE HELL ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? YOU COMING HOME OR WHAT?"
"YEAH, I'M COMING HOME, BUT THEN I'M GETTING MY OWN APARTMENT!"
"Good. All right. Then it's over?
"Yeah, it's over. Yeah, fine."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Dinner for Schmucks (2010)

Blu-Ray


Review: This is a funny movie where Tim is up for a big promotion if he can bring an entertaining idiot to his boss' themed dinner party. Sickened by the idea at first, he changes his mind when he bumps into the perfect guest, a naive man-child named Barry who builds dioramas with stuffed mice. The dioramas displayed during the opening and closing credits are hilarious!

Quotes:
"Have you ever lived among a herd of goats, for months at a time, as one of them?"
"No."
"That surprises me."

"You might not like him. I don't like him. I hate him! But we need him. You know? It's like the CIA."
"The CIA?"
"The CIA does some pretty funky, nasty stuff in the shadows, but I, for one, am glad they're there."
"The CIA doesn't invite people to dinner to make fun of them."
"No. The CIA kills people. And I'm getting raked over the coals because of a little dinner."

"I need to be punished. I cheated in class. Don't you want to be my school teacher?"
"I'm really not qualified. I work for the IRS."
"Not tonight..."
"No, all the time. I work..."
"Ok, ok! You work for the IRS and I have been very, very bad. I haven't paid my taxes and I need to be spanked, NOW!"
"Well, that's really not the way it works, you probably just have to pay the difference, plus interest...

"Well, these people invited us here to make fun of us. This is a contest for the biggest idiot... which I nailed!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Edge of Tomorrow (2014) Live Die Repeat

Blu-Ray


Review: This is another great Tom Cruise movie directed by the always reliable Doug Limon. This sci-fi war film combines the repeating elements of Groundhog Day and videos games to tell the story of a un-experienced coward becoming a war hero by reliving the same battle over and over again every time he dies. The practical effects of the battle suit are very well done.

Quotes:
"Griff, I want you to take care of Private Cage."
"What, all day long?"
"Something tells me it won't be that long."

"I'm hit, I'm hit. How bad is it?"
"You've got a hole in your chest."
"Did you just take my... battery, battery pack?"

"Come on! This ship is going to explode! What are you doing?"
"Find me when you wake up."
"What?"
"Come find me when you wake up..."

"I think I broke something..."
"What?"
"My back. The only thing I can feel are my lips."
"Now listen carefully. This is a very important rule. This is the only rule. You get injured on the field, you better make sure you die."
"Why?"
"Last time I was in combat, I was hit. I was bleeding out, just not fast enough. I woke up in a field hospital with three pints of someone else's blood and I was out. I lost the power, do you understand? Think we better start over, don't you?"

"Stop! Wait! Wait, wait, wait! Stop! Wait a second! You know, I've been thinking. I mean, this thing's in my blood. So maybe's there's some way I can transfer it to you."
"I've tried everything. It doesn't work."
"I mean, have you... you know... tried all the options?"
"Oh, you mean sex. Yep. I tried it."
"How many times?"

"If it's all the same to you, I'm tired, I'm in pain. I'd rather just start fresh."
"Tell you what. Take a few minutes. Coffee's ready. I'll look around for the keys. That's productive."
"Ten minutes."
"Okay."
"And then I'm killing you."
"Fine."

"What do we do now?"
"I don't know. We've never gotten this far."

"Why would we follow him into combat?"
"I don't expect you to follow me. I expect you to follow her."
"That's the Full Metal Bitch."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Feeling Minnesota (1996)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


Review: Keanu Reeves plays ex-con, Jjaks, who comes home to Minnesota for his brother's wedding and falls in love with the bride played by Cameron Diaz. Since she has been forced to marry the older brother by the local crime boss, she tries tries to convince Jjaks to help her escape town but not before stealing enough money to live comfortably in Vegas. Vincent D'Onofrio plays the older brother who shares a hate/hate relationship with Jjaks and is not about to let his new wife leave him.

Quotes:
"Let's just start this thing up and get out of here."
"I can't."
"Why? Why can't you see? Maybe all this shit happened with me, with you, with your mom dying. Maybe it happened so we would end up together."
"I can't."
"If you leave me here with these bastards, I swear you're a bigger fucker than they are."
"Don't you see? It feels too good. It feels too good! It's gonna turn to shit! I just can't!"

"I'm just saying. Go home one last time and get the money."
"Why, we have a little cash."
"I got fifty bucks stuffed in my underwear and you've got what, enough to spring for this swell place? We left in a hurry, Jjaks. We forgot."
"I know, but..."
"Jjaks, c'mon. We're almost there. Almost. It's like, if I close my eyes, I can see us in Vegas lying by a pool... with water in it. It's always sunny and warm. And guys in white jackets bring us daiquiris and all the food we can eat for four bucks. And all the towels smell like Downey fabric softener. There's no clocks, no bedtime and when I get going there you can come see me perform at night. I'd be wearing big red feathers and one of those things on my head, like crown things, with diamonds in it. When I come offstage I'd be too wired to sleep so we'll make love until morning and sleep until 2:00."

"I spend my whole life trying not to come back here. I always end up coming back here."
"Where's Freddie?"
"Why don't I just put the money back and really never come back?"
"So you and my wife can live happily ever after? That sounds like a really good deal for me."
"We're gonna go at it, aren't we, Sam?"
"Big time."

"How could lie to me about that?"
You ate my ear... You killed your wife... You framed me and you're mad at me for lying?"

"Drop the gun."
"You drop yours."
"Well, I pulled mine out first."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Enemy of the State (1998)

Blu-Ray


Review: If not for Gene Hackman, I think this film would not rate as highly for me. Will Smith does a decent job as the average citizen caught up in a government cover-up, but the film really improves when Hackman makes his appearance at the halfway point. With all the recent revelations of government tracking of telephone calls and internet usage, the theme of this film only grows more timely. It is also interesting to recognize a lot of the actors playing the faceless NSA technicians this time around.

Quotes:
"We believe Mr. Zavitz may have passed sensitive materials to you."
"What sort of materials?"
"Sensitive, sir."

"Jones, Krug, what, are you guys from Communications?"
"No, we're Ops."
"You can tell by their haircuts."

"Tell us abut Rachael Banks."
"I'll tell you what. Rachael, was my girlfriend in my second year of law school, we still remain in close contact, and we swap information from time to time."
"Did you have an affair with her 4 years ago?"
"Ever beat off in the shower, Brian? Ever had any homosexual thoughts?"
"Bob, that's..."
"None of my fuckin' business. You're damn right it's not. I love my wife and I love my son, absolutely with no equivocations, and that's none of your fuckin' business either."

"You're transmitting. Get rid of your watch."
"My wife gave me this watch."
"Then keep it."

"If you live another day I will be very impressed."

"Planning a quick getaway?"
"Ever since I met you."

"Can you get a feature scan and pattern matching on him?"
"No, he's smart, he never looks up."
"Why does he have to look up?"
"The satellite is 155 miles above the Earth. It can only look straight down."
"That's a bit limited, isn't it?"
"Well, maybe you should design a better one."

"Fort Meade has 18 acres of mainframe computers underground. You're talking to your wife on the phone and you use the word 'bomb', 'president', 'Allah', any of a hundred keywords, the computer recognizes it, automatically records it, red-flags it for analysis. That was 20 years ago."

"What the hell is happening?"
"I blew up the building."
"Why?"
"Because you made a phone call."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: District 9 (2009)

Blu-Ray


Review: When a derelict spaceship arrives over Johannesburg, South Africa, the authorities are surprised to discover a starving insect-like alien race trapped aboard that displays limited motivation or even the intelligence to operate their own advanced technology. After moving over a million of the surviving aliens into a refugee camp on the edge of the city, the helpless, sometimes violent Prawns become a burden on the city who begins to despise them.

Sharlto Copley plays Wikus, the official in charge of evicting the Prawns from their slum into a more isolated camp, who becomes exposed to an alien chemical that alters his DNA. On the run from the agency that wants to exploit his condition, he hides in District 9 and meets the one smart alien, Christopher Johnson, who is working on a way to travel back home. While I thought this was a decent movie the first time I watched it, I was much more impressed the second time by the deep story and its satirical take on racism and apartheid.

Quotes:
"When dealing with aliens, try to be polite, but firm. And always remember that a smile is cheaper than a bullet."

"Get your fokkin' tentacle out of my face!"

"You hear that? That's a popping sound that you're hearing. It's almost like popcorn. Here, you can take that, you want to keep that, as a souvenir of your first abortion, ay. You can feel like you've done one of these too."
"Thanks, boss!"

"Hello, little guy! It's the sweetie man coming!"

"How many moons does our planet have?"
"Seven."
"This planet only has one. I can't wait to see our planet again... it's bigger than this one, isn't it?"
"Enough."
"We go home now?"
"Not home, no. This is where we must go. See that tent there? That might be ours."
"I want to go home!"
"We can't go home. Not anymore."

"I would never have any kind of... pornographic activity with a fokkin' creature!"

"This whole's thing's under your shack? For 20 years, you've had this fokkin' thing hidden out here? This is, this is very illegal, I mean, this is... this is a find."

"Fuel goes in here!"
"That's enough! QUIET!"
"...then we fly away."
"I said QUIET! We cannot trust him."
"What is he saying about the fuel, is this, are you trying to start this thing? He-he. Are you little fookers trying to start this, and get away, ay?"
"Never mind."
"Ha-ha. Yeah, you sneaky fokkin' prawns, heh?"

"I thought you said not to kill them?"
"He shot at me!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Frailty (2001)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


Review: This isn't a jump-scare horror, but the more effective kind that makes the viewer wonder how they would deal with a horrible situation. This is Bill Paxton's first film as a director and he also plays the father who claims he has seen a vision from God and tells his two young sons that they were given a mission to destroy demons living among them. The film is told from the perspective of the older skeptical son trying to cope with his dad's religious fervor.

Quotes:
"What is that, Dad?"
"That's a demon, son."

"You didn't think anyone knew about that, did you? But God saw you! And you can't escape God's wrath!"

"Don't cry for her son, she wasn't human."

"He was my father. I loved him even if he had gone crazy."

"Ain't that Travis kid the boy whose been givin' you trouble at school?"
"Yep. He's a demon."
"You can't make things like that up, son. Killing people is wrong, destroying demons is good. Don't worry, God will send you your own list when you're older."

"I hated Dad's God, and I would have run away if it weren't for my brother. I just couldn't leave him there."

"Come in and close the door. Are you afraid?"
"Of what?"
"You."
"Only demons should fear me. You're not a demon are you? The angle said you were. I can't believe that. I won't. You're my son, and I love you more than my own life. You know what's funny about all this Fenton? I'm afraid of you."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Dark City (1998)

Blu-Ray


Review: An atmospheric sci-fi thriller that lives up to the film's title, Dark City. A man wakes up in a hotel room with a dead girl and no memory before he escapes to wander the city while avoiding the police and a group of pale men with strange powers. As he struggles with his own confused identity, he discovers more about a city that seemingly has no exit and shape-shifts at the stroke of midnight.

Quotes:
"Excuse me. How do I get to the end of the line?"
"You want the Express."
"Hey, how come that train didn't stop?"
"That's the Express."

"When was the last time you remember doing something during the day?"
"What do you mean?"
"I just mean during the day. Daylight. When was the last time you remember seeing it? And I'm not talking about some distant, half-forgotten childhood memory, I mean like yesterday. Last week. Can you come up with a single memory? You can't, can you? You know something, I don't think the sun even... exists... in this place. 'Cause I've been up for hours, and hours, and hours, and the night never ends here."

"There is no ocean, John. There is nothing beyond the city. The only place home exists... is in your head."

"I know this is gonna sound crazy, but what if we never knew each other before now... and everything you remember, and everything that I'm supposed to remember, never really happened, someone just wants us to think it did?"
"But how can that be true? I so vividly remember meeting you. I remember falling in love with you. I remember losing you."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Drive (2011)

Blu-Ray


Review: I have never understood the fuss about Ryan Gosling. But after watching this, I think I have a man-crush on him. This is a superb film about a stunt man/mechanic who moonlights as the best getaway driver in LA. Loved the cinematography and soundtrack. I want that jacket!

Quotes:
"What do you do?"
"I drive."
"Like a limo driver"?
"No, like, for movies."
"Oh. You mean all the car chases and stuff?"
"Yeah."
"Isn't that dangerous?"
"It's only part-time. Mostly I work at a garage."

"Kid, I want you to meet Mr. Bernie Rose!"
"Nice to meet you."
"My hands are a little dirty."
"So are mine."

"You're Shannon's buddy right? We met last year. You drove me and my brother back from Palm Springs. We hired another wheelman. I spent six months in jail. My brother, he got himself killed. I got this sweet job coming up."
"How 'bout this. You shut your mouth. Or I'll kick your teeth down your throat and I'll shut it for you."

"If I drive for you, you get your money. You tell me where we start, where we're going, where we're going afterwards. I give you five minutes when we get there. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours. No matter what. Anything a minute on either side of that and you're on your own. I don't sit in while you're running it down. I don't carry a gun. I drive."
"You look like you're hard to work with."

"Here's what I'm prepared to offer. You give me the money, the girl is safe. Forever. Nobody knows about her. She's off the map. I can't offer you the same. So, this is what I would suggest. We conclude our deal. We'll shake hands. You start the rest of your life. Any dreams you have, or plans, or hopes for your future... I think you're going to have to put that on hold. For the rest of your life you're going to be looking over your shoulder. I'm just telling you this because I want you to know the truth. But the girl is safe."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Funny Farm (1988)

Blu-Ray


Review: Not as funny as "The Money Pit", but it has the same concept of a couple moving into a dream home that ends up wrecking havoc on their relationship. Chevy Chase plays a sports columnist who moves out to the country to write his novel, but struggles with never-ending problems with the rural environment and the success of his wife's new found writing skills.

Quotes:
"You slept on the floor huh? We slept outside with the bugs and the wild animals. A bridge nearly killed us. Nobody knows where the hell Redbud is. And we haven't eaten since yesterday morning. So stay the hell out of our way and keep your mouth SHUT!"

"Remember, Mrs. Farmer. Whenever you buy a house, whatever's in the ground belongs to you - whether it's gold or oil... or Claude Musselman."

"Call me Mr. Lamb Fries!"

"I'm convinced that our marriage has been one of mutual betrayals. I know it! YOU know it! Even Yellow Dog knows it!"
"I know it and you know it. Yellow Dog doesn't even know what town he's in."

"We came to Redbud filled with hopes and dreams of a better life. And basically, we've seen those hopes and dreams crushed and battered before our very eyes."

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Frantic (1988)

Blu-Ray


Review: One of my favorite thrillers and one of Harrison Ford's best acting roles alongside 'The Mosquito Coast'. The film's title perfectly captures the emotional state of Harrison's character when his wife goes missing from their Paris hotel. Roman Polanski does a masterful job of building tension and slowly revealing details as Harrison struggles to locate his wife with only a few clues in a foreign city.

Quotes:
"Eyes?"
"Blue, both of them."
"Blue. Face?"
"Oval. Look..."
"I know this must seem like annoying bureaucracy, but really, we have to get one of these to the prefecture police when we deal with a missing person."
"I've already been to the police. I filled out of one of the forms. And it's not a missing person. It's a kidnapping!"
"Don't you think that's a bit premature to be so positive?"
"No, I don't think. I have witnesses. My wife was kidnapped. Do you understand what I am saying to you?"
"Yes. Yes, of course. But what would you like us to do exactly?"
"I want you to find my wife."
"Well, you understand, Dr. Walker, ours is basically a liaison function. We can assist you in communicating with the French police. We can put a little pressure on the Ministry of Interior. But this is their country. It's their jurisdiction. We can't just send a posse out after her."

"Shut the door. I want you to tell me what this says."
"It's me. It's Michelle. I'm back. I've made a good trip. I'll see you tonight at the Blue Parrot. Don't forget my money. I kiss you."
-------
"It's her again. She's angry now. She'll wait at the Parrot until it closes, then she'll go to his place."
"What time do the nightclubs close?"
"Four or six, it depends."

"I don't care about the suitcase. I'm looking for her!"
"Who?"
"My wife, god damn it! You put my wife's suitcase in the locker and it didn't have what they wanted in it. But it had my wife's name tag, our telephone number. They came to the hotel and took her."
"Your wife?"
"They kidnapped her!"
"But they want my suitcase. Why did they take your wife?"
"When I find them, I'll ask them."

"Merde, what did you do that for?"
"Put your hands on the wheel!"
"That's good coke! That was 500 francs, at least."
"Keep your eyes on the road and get us where we're going. Jesus Christ!"

"I take only half."
"Why?"
"Instead of the other half, you keep me with you."
"Why?"
"I'm trusting you with my suitcase. I stay with you until you give it to them. I don't want to end up like Dede."
"You better get out of here."
"No, I won't go... Please?"
"I'll come to your apartment as soon as I get this straightened out."
"Promise?"
"Yes, I promise. Now scoot."

"Right, I want you to take this and go behind that truck and don't come out until I tell you."
"Okay, I'm scared. Are you?"
"I'm scared shitless. Go on."
"Merde... In French, it's good luck to say, 'Merde'... You're not supposed to answer."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Demolition Man (1993)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"We're police officers! We're not trained to handle this kind of violence!"

Review: This Sylvester Stallone action film has aged a bit, but it is still fun. He plays a wrongly-convicted badass cop who is unfrozen in a more peaceful, but naive future after a violent criminal from his time has escaped from the cryo-prison. It is a fish-out-of-water tale as he struggles against the new cultural norms while trying to recapture Wesley Snipes with his old school methods. I would only give it three stars now, but I am adding a forth for how much I enjoyed it when it came out.

"You are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute."
"What? Fuck you!"
"Your repeated violation of the Verbal Morality Statute has caused me to notify the San Angeles Police Department. Please remain where you are for your reprimand."
"Yeah, right."

"While you were sleeping, everyone in the city was installed code. Sensors all over the city can zero in on anyone at any time. I can't even conceive a visual of what you police officers did before it was developed."
"We worked for a living. This fascist crap makes me want to puke."

"I thought you wanted to make love?"
"Is that what you call this?!"
"Vir-sex has been proven to produce high orders of alpha waves during digitized transference of sexual energies."
"Look, Huxley, let's say we just do it the old-fashioned way?"
"Eeewww, disgusting! You mean... fluid transfer?"

"Now, I'll have carte blanche to create the perfect society. My society. San Angeles will be a beacon of order with the purity of an ant colony and the beauty of a flawless pearl."
"Look, you can't take away people's right to be assholes."
"Hmm?"
"That's who you remind me of: an evil Mr. Rogers! Will you please kill him? He's pissing me off!"

"Let's go blow this guy."
"Away! Blow this guy away!"
"Whatever."
"Hmm, she's got a way with words!"

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"I'm telling you, I didn't steal any money from her! She gave it to me."
"Well she filed a complaint, Monsieur."
"She caught me with another woman! C'mon, you're French, you understand that!"
"To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American."

Review: I wish they still made comedies like this, if they do I haven't noticed them. This is the first film that I saw with Michael Caine and he is perfect as the sauve british confidence man who preys on the rich tourists along the French Riveria. When the crass Steve Martin invades his turf, he uses all his tricks to try and force him out of town, before they finally decide to settle their disagreements with a high-stakes bet.

"Freddy, as a younger man, I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. There was just one problem. I wasn't very good. As a matter of fact, I was dreadful. I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent. I knew my limitations. We all have our limitations, Freddy. Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style were commodities that people desired. Freddy, what I am saying is, know your limitations. You are a moron."

"I believe she is the United States Soap Queen."
"Okay, how much?"
"She's a little young, isn't she?"
"Out of your league?"
"All right, I'll make it easy for you, $50,000."
"50,000 dollars!!?"
"Out of your league?"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Flash Gordon (1980)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Remove the Earth woman. Prepare her for our pleasure."

Review: This retro sci-fi film of football star, Flash Gordon, saving the Earth from the evil Emperor Ming shouldn't be as entertaining as it is. Vivid colors, crazy outfits, hammy acting, & cheap-looking special effects all merge together into a delicious stew. The rock soundtrack by Queen is the spice that make it all work.

"Boy, have I got some crazy stories to tell you."
"Save them for our kids."
"Oh, I accept."
"Enough!"
"Would you leave us alone? I just got engaged."

"You tortured Aura?"
"Yes. An interesting girl. I think she found it rather enjoyable."

"Long live Flash. You've saved your Earth. Have a nice day."
"YEAH!!!"

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Do you want to put some clothes on?!"
"Oh, would you like to pick out the outfit that you break up with me in?!"

Review: A very funny comedy of a man trying to cope after his famous actress girlfriend dumps him. Escaping to Hawaii, he finds her staying at the same resort with her new rock star boyfriend. I liked how they tried to make the growth of his new relationship fairly realistic for a romantic comedy. The Dracula Musical was very unique and a great way to wrap up the movie.

"I like her red hair. I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes."

"You're still involved with him next door, ain't ya?"
"Excuse me?"
"You should've seen yourself at dinner, Sarah. Then you came back here and put on that ghastly performance. I mean I've heard that women do fake orgasms, but I've never seen one. It really deeply upset me."
"You should've seen YOURSELF at dinner. 'Oh, I'm Aldous Snow! Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Oh, no drinks for me thanks. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!'"

"Get hard for me, Pete. Get hard for me."
"I know what I'm supposed to do."

"Oh, wedding in Hawaii! REAL ORIGINAL!!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Dances with Wolves (1990)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9 - Double-Sided


"You wish to see the frontier?"
"Yes sir, before it's gone."

Review: This is an amazing movie that shows the last years of the Sioux Indians before they were moved onto reservations. The film follows a Civil War soldier who finds himself posted to an isolated and abandoned army fort far out in the prairie where he comes in contact with a nearby tribe. Graham Greene is great as Kicking Bird, the medicine man who befriends the soldier.

"I am in agreement with Kicking Bird. We will go down and talk to the white man. And find out why he is here."
"If this council decides to talk to the white man then it will be so. But in my mind, it's not right that a chief as great as Ten Bears goes to ask the business of a puny, trespassing white man who has only a smart horse and a few white man's clothes."
"I will not go. You will go. And you will go. That is all I have to say."

"Dances With Wolves! I am Wind In His Hair! Do you see that I am your friend? Can you see that you will always be my friend?"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Friday (1995)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"I know you don't smoke weed, I know this, but I'm gonna get you high today. 'Cause it's Friday. You ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do."

Review: This is the flip-side film to the Boyz' N the Hood. A comic portrayal of life in South Central LA. Ice Cube is good as the straight man to the hilarious Chris Tucker, who plays his drug dealer friend. John Witherspoon plays his father and steals every scene he is in.

"I ain't trying to be no dog catcher."
"Why not?"
"I don't even like dogs."
"That's the beauty of it. I grab a dog. I choke him and I kick the shit out of him. All day long, my foot up a dog's ass. Just bang, bang, bang up his ass. That's my pleasure."

"I got mind control over Deebo. He be like, 'Shut the Fuck Up'. I be quiet. But when he leave, I be talkin' again."

"Damn, you got knocked... the FUCK out!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Dragnet (1987)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Well, Emil... I guess it's just you... and me... your balls... and this drawer."

Review: This is a comedic remake of the famous television show with Dan Ackroyd as the uptight LA detective and Tom Hanks as his more laid back partner. It is fun, but nothing special.

"Reckless endangerment of human life, willful disregard of private property, failure to signal for a safe lane change."
"Yeah, he's really racking up the violations, isn't he?"
"Not him, you! This is your one-way ticket back to civilian life, Mister."

"Ah sure, but just like every other foaming, rabid psycho in this city with a foolproof plan, you've forgotten you're facing the single finest fighting force ever assembled."
"The Israelis?"
"Try the decent, hardworking men and women of Los Angeles."
"Forgotten about them? My dear Sergeant, I'm absolutely counting on them."

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Deuce Bigalow - Male Gigolo (1999)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"Look at this proud fish. It's like a coyote, king of the jungle. It's like Antoine. He don't need no pimp. Then look at this mid-level fish here. Works hotels, conventions, senior centers. I represent several man-whores at this level of the game. Now look at this little fella, at the bottom trying to get busy with the scuba man. You know, if you work hard and listen to me, this could be you."

Review: Rob Schneider's best movie is a entertaining story with many funny scenes that holds together a loose plot. He plays a fish tank cleaner who works as a male prostitute to help pay for the damages when he accidentally floods the apartment of a real male gigolo.

"I'm sorry. I have Tourette's Syndrome and it causes me to have these uncontrollable outbursts."
"It's not so bad."
"Yeah, it's okay. I mean, you get used to it. BALL SWEAT! ANUS! ANUS LICKER! Naah-naah-naah-naah-nyiii!"
"I barely notice it."

"I don't understand why women do it. I don't see how they can get any pleasure from it. It's not supposed to go up there. Frankly, I don't even understand how men do it, either."
"You wouldn't want to try it, just to try something new?"
"No, it's just...not natural."
"So you're definitely opposed to space travel?"
"Totally! I mean, more power to any woman who wants to be an astronaut, but I'm just not into it. Frankly, I'd rather take it up the butt."

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: D.A.R.Y.L. (1985)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"You know, the extraordinary thing is that we've accomplished something by accident that we wouldn't have dared to do by intent. Putting him out there just to see what would happen. When Dr. Mulligan kidnapped him, that was the best thing he could have done."
"You were right about it's learning potential."
"No, I was wrong. I think he's learned a lot more than I ever thought possible."

Review: This was a favorite movie of mine as a kid. It starts out a little slow but really holds up well in the final two acts. A boy named Daryl is found in the woods with amnesia and is sent to live with a childless couple. He is a genius child who's mysterious background is revealed after his supposed parents come to claim him.

"I can sort of read what a computer is doing."
"You can control it?"
"I guess. I'm getting better."
"But people... you can tell what they're thinking?"
"Oh, no, I'm not telepathic or anything like that."
"Then how do you know what they're feeling?"
"Well, you sort of guess at that because you know what you're feeling yourself."

"Basically, we need an adult version of this prototype, programmed to learn and then taught everything the Army can teach. A fearless, technically skilled, devastating soldier."
"D.A.R.Y.L. goes to the scrap yard. Understood?"

4 out of 5 Stars