Film: Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)

Blu-Ray


Review: While it doesn't reach the heights of III, mainly because it lacks a villain of Philip Seymour Hoffman's caliber, Ghost Protocol is a great entry in the series. The prison escape and Kremlin infiltration are fun sequences and Tom Cruise tops himself with the stunt climbing outside of the tallest building in the world, the Burj Khalifa.

Quotes:
"Mind telling me what you were doing in a Russian prison?"
"Mind telling me why you broke me out?"
"This wasn't a rescue mission?"
"Let me put it this way. If the secretary wanted me out of there, it must be pretty bad out here."

"Why would that work?"
"Why would what work?"
"The flare on the body, why would that work?"
"It did work."
"Yeah, I know, but... but why? I mean, how did you know that would draw their fire?"
"I didn't. I played a hunch."
"Okay. All right, so what was your scenario? There's a guy being shot at in the water. All of a sudden, decides to light up a flare and swim around? I mean, what did you assume they'd be thinking?"
"Thinking?"
"Yeah."
"I didn't assume they were thinking. I assumed they were shooting at anything that moved. I just gave them a target. Look, these guys aren't Rhodes Scholars, you know?"

"The Secretary is dead. The President has invoked Ghost Protocol. We're shut down. No satellite, safe house, support, or extraction. The four of us and the contents of this car are all that remains of the IMF."

"There's no way we can get to it from the inside."
"If we can't get to the server, we don't control the elevators, we don't control the security cameras. This operation is over before it begins."
"I'm telling you, we can get to it from the outside."
"We?"
"I'm... I'm on the computer."
"What floor is it on?"
"130."
"130? Vent ducts?"
"Pressure sensitive... Not enough time."
"Elevator shaft?"
"Infrared sensors... Not enough time."
"How am I supposed to do this?"

"22 minutes to door knock."
"The countdown is not helping."
"I'm just saying."

"OK, yeah, but you, um, just breezed over something I think is really important. The computer array part, where I just... jump?"
"And I catch you."
"Yeah."
"I don't... Why is that so hard to grasp?"
"Well, yeah, why? It's a 25 foot drop. And we're using magnets."
"Yeah."

"That's it. Next time, I get to seduce the rich guy."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: The Hobbit - The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

Blu Ray


Review: Compared to my enjoyment of the first film, I had the opposite reaction after the second Hobbit film. Instead of just adding new material to the original story, the film's writers started to make major changes to the original plot that spoiled things for me. I could live with small things like making the barrel escape more action-oriented, but plot changes like Thorin abandoning his sick nephew, his heir, at Laketown were too much. Adding Evangeline Lilly's elf character of Tauriel was a good idea in theory but they botched it by putting her into a weird love triangle with Legolas and Fili the Dwarf.

The second most important event in Tolkien's book is Bilbo's encounters with Smaug. While they did a great job with Bilbo's riddle game against Gollum, I thought they dropped the ball with the second. Instead of the perfect dialogue-heavy test of wills from the book, they had an ineffectual dragon pursuing the visible Bilbo all over the treasure hoard. Most importantly, changing the story so that everybody in Laketown already knows about the missing scale on Smaug's belly instead of Bilbo discovering it ruined his critical contribution to the demise of the dragon. After another viewing, I still don't see the writer's reasoning behind the dwarves attempt to kill the dragon at the end of the film. The whole point of them bringing Bilbo along as a burglar was that they could not possibly confront a powerful dragon themselves. I preferred the tension-filled chapter of the book where the dwarves are searching the treasure hall while expecting the missing dragon to return at any moment.

Quotes:
"You've changed, Bilbo Baggins. You're not the same Hobbit as the one who left the Shire."
"I was going to tell you. I found something in the Goblin tunnels."
"Found what? What did you find?"
"...my courage."
"Good... You'll need it."

"Who is this? Your brother?"
"That is my wife!"
"And who is this horrid creature? A goblin mutant?"
"That is my wee lad, Gimli!"

"Aren't you going to search me? I could have anything down my trousers."
"Or nothing."

"Was that an earthquake?"
"That, my lad, was a dragon."

"I did not come to steal from you, O Smaug the Unassailable Wealthy. I merely wanted to gaze upon your magnificence, to see if you were as great as the old tales say. I did not believe them."
"And do you, NOW?"
"Truly songs and tales fall utterly short of your enormity, O Smaug the Stupendous..."
"Do you think flattery will keep you alive?"
"No, no..."
"No, indeed!"

"You seem familiar with my name, but I don't remember smelling your kind before. Who are you and where do you come from, may I ask?"
"I come from under the hill..."
"Underhill?"
"...and under the hill and over the hills my paths lead. And through the air! I am he who walks unseen!"
"Impressive. What else do you claim to be?"
"Luck-Wearer... Ring-Winner..."
"Lovely titles..."
"Barrel-Rider!"
"Barrels! Now that is interesting!"

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: American Dad! - Volume 6 (2009-2010)

3 Discs


Review: This season has two of my favorite episodes, "Rapture's Delight" and "Merlot Down Dirty Shame".

Quotes:
"So, how'd the big night turn out?"
"It was... there's no word to describe it. Schmooblydong? That's not it, but it's close. Let... Let me try and put it in terms you can understand. Imagine being high at a Rusted Root concert while two dudes take you on in a sun-baked porta-john."
"Wow! That actually does sound really good."
"Yeah. I'd like that too."

"Apologize to Roger."
"Apologize? For what? For giving him power over an island full of half-naked Hispanic men? That's his dream...the the premise of three of his screenplays."

"When da Vinci first conceived of it, he called it an aerial screw."
"That seems a bit lewd."
"Well, da Vinci was a well known sexual deviant. You know that sketch of the naked man in the wheel? Blueprints for a rape machine."

"Wow, uncensored nudity! This game must be from Japan!"
"Unlikely. Those are women, not underage schoolgirls."

"Oh, my God! Stan!"
"Oh, he's doing his Heath Ledger impression. Too soon, Roger. Too soon."

"Who are you?"
"Roger's conscience."
"Oh, my God. You're dying of neglect."
"Kill me."

"Its not easy to regain someone's trust. It takes a long time, like building a house or pleasing a fat woman."

"When I turned 14, I took fiduciary responsibility for my mothers 401k. We discussed over Italian food. I had my first espresso, it kept me up all night. I fell asleep at dawn for five minutes and had a stress dream about the house burning down. Pretty good birthday."

"Stan, remember the first rule of every wedding is that the bride is beautiful. The second rule you can find on my website. You have be eighteen to log on. I have some sexy barnyard stuff on there that is not for everyone... I could get into a lot of trouble. If you do decide to check it out you need clear your history right away. You may have to uninstall your browser. I'm telling you, scrub that thing clean. If you think you're being too cautious, you're not. They will take us both to jail."

"Why is anger the only emotion you can express?"
"Because people make me mad all the time for being stupid about everything! Now pass me the fucking sweet potatoes!
"Spoiler alert, the sweet potatoes SUCK! How'd you get the sweet out of the potatoes, Frannie?"

"Oh, my God! The homeless guy from the bus station is HUNG... But I knew that."

"What's going on?"
"I'll tell you what's happening. It's the end of the world! AND WE'VE BEEN LEFT BEHIND!!
"It's the Rapture. Turns out there really IS a God."

"Oh, I love your religion ... for the crazy! Virgin birth. Water into wine. It's like Harry Potter, but it causes genocide and bad folk music. I hope I haven't missed the part where the three Chinese guys give perfume to the star baby. It’s like the diaries of a mad man!"

"Authorities confirm the total number of Raptured at 142 million. You may notice that my partner Greg isn't here, that's because he was Raptured. Apparently, God does love gays but only if they're Tops. Take it in the behind, you get left behind."

"Kneel before the Lord... punk."

"Stan, you have the undeserved ego of Jeremy Piven, the annoying self-righteousness of Sean Penn, and the unbearable hypocrisy of Rush Limbaugh. What I'm trying to say is, you're almost as bad a person as Rachael Ray."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Margin Call (2011)

Blu-Ray


Review: I just started watching this as a way to help distract myself before going on a first date with the woman who became my wife but it turned out to be a superb film about the beginning of the 2008 Great Recession. Zachary Quinto plays an analyst at a large Wall Street firm who discovers that his company is on the edge of financial disaster. Watching how this discovery travels up the chain of command and how the senior management end up dealing with it is fascinating. The film is well-written and tense throughout with a great cast.

Quotes:
"I run risk management... it just doesn't seem like a natural place to start cutting."

"This could be huge. The losses would be greater than the current value of the company."

"Peter, is this your work?"
"Mostly Mr. Dale's."
"But is this your draft?"
"Yes. Again, expanded on the original work by Mr. Dale. But, yes."
"What's your background?"
"My background?"
"Your CV."
"I've been with the firm for two and a half years, working with Eric that whole time. But I hold a doctorate in engineering, specialty in propulsion, from MIT with a bachelor's from Penn."
"What is a specialty in propulsion, exactly?"
"My thesis was a study in the ways that friction ratios affect steering outcomes in aeronautical use under reduced gravity loads."
"So you're a rocket scientist?"

"Maybe you could tell me what is going on. And please, speak as you might to a young child. Or a golden retriever. It wasn't brains that brought me here; I assure you that."

"So, what you're telling me, is that the music is about to stop, and we're going to be left holding the biggest bag of odorous excrement ever assembled in the history of capitalism."
"Sir, I not sure that I would put it that way, but let me clarify using your analogy. What this model shows is the music, so to speak, just slowing. If the music were to stop, as you put it, then this model wouldn't even be close to that scenario. It would be considerably worse."
"Let me tell you something, Mr. Sullivan. Do you care to know why I'm in this chair with you all? I mean, why I earn the big bucks."
"Yes."
"I'm here for one reason and one reason alone. I'm here to guess what the music might do a week, a month, a year from now. That's it. Nothing more. And standing here tonight, I'm afraid that I don't hear... a... thing. Just... silence."

"You know, the funny thing is, tomorrow if all of this goes tits up they're gonna crucify us for being too reckless but if we're wrong, and everything gets back on track? Well then, the same people are gonna laugh till they piss their pants cause we're gonna all look like the biggest pussies God ever let through the door."

"So you think we might have put a few people out of business today. That its all for naught. You've been doing that everyday for almost forty years, Sam. And if this is all for naught then so is everything out there. Its just money; its made up. Pieces of paper with pictures on it so we don't have to kill each other just to get something to eat. It's not wrong. And it's certainly no different today than its ever been. 1637, 1797, 1819, 37, 57, 84, 1901, 07, 29, 1937, 1974, 1987 (Jesus, didn't that fuck up me up good) 92, 97, 2000 and whatever we want to call this. It's all just the same thing over and over. We can't help ourselves. And you and I can't control it, or stop it, or even slow it. Or even ever-so-slightly alter it. We just react. And we make a lot money if we get it right. And we get left by the side of the side of the road if we get it wrong. And there have always been and there always will be the same percentage of winners and losers. Happy foxes and sad sacks. Fat cats and starving dogs in this world. Yeah, there may be more of us today than there's ever been. But the percentages-they stay exactly the same."

5 out of 5 Stars