Film: If Looks Could Kill (1991)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


Review: Preposterous plot, but well-crafted fun. A lot of films like this age very badly, but this has stayed as entertaining as the first time I saw it. Richard Grieco plays a high school student who goes on a trip to Europe with his French class and is confused for a secret agent with the same name on his flight. It's a witty James Bond spoof that reminds me alot of the film, Gotcha. A favorite gag is the rotating drivers who take turns trying to capture the students' bus, believing them to be mercenaries.

Quotes:
"I'm real sorry. I don't know what to say, you know."
"You don't know what to say? I'll tell you what to say. How about, sorry Mom and Dad, I would have liked to graduate high school, but I couldn't really fit it into my dating and partying schedule, huh? Or how about, sorry, I was too busy doing jack-shit instead of going to my French class!"

"Oh no, not French. Uh look, parlez vous English?"
"Monsieur, what I said is, you look like a piece of horribly scented American dogshit. Change your clothes!"

"I want out, Richardson, got it? That tux with the BO Blasters was real cute, just gassed three people, probably killed them."
"Ha, ha, ha. No such luck, Corben. They'll wake up in an hour or two with a hell of a headache. That's all."
"Richardson, this is not my idea of a good time."
"What were you expecting, Corben?"
"At the moment, I was expecting to be cramped into a cheap hotel room in Paris, probably holding a farting contest with my roommates."

"Put that on. Your having dinner with Steranko in 10 minutes."
"Jerk! If he thinks I'm going to put on this Army Surplus reject, he's out of his mind. It's not my style."
"Michael, Number 1, this is a very nice Armani suit. Number 2, you have no style."

"Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
"No, Corben's here."
"That's what I mean!"

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Rocky Balboa (2006)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: This is an amazing final sequel for the Rocky films. I think without the television success of Sylvestor's entertaining boxing show, The Contender, this movie would never have been made. Stallone understands this role better than any other and it shows in the great writing as Rocky struggles after the death of his wife. Burt Young brings great pathos and comic relief as Paulie. The best part about this movie is that it washes out the bad taste of Rocky V. Now you can pretend that chapter never existed.

Quotes:
"Time goes by too fast."
"Not fast enough."

"What's the matter with you, Paulie?"
"You're living backwards, Rocko! Change the channel from yesterday! Yesterday wasn't so great!"
"It was to me."
"Not to me!"
"You treated her good. You had the good times. I treated her bad. I don't have to think about this."
"She always loved you, Paulie."
"Sorry, Rocko, I can't do this no more."

"Hey, come on. We're about to serve today's special."
"Italian food cooked up by a bunch of Mexicans ain't so special, Rocko."

"So you nervous about the fight?"
"Scared to death."
"You don't look scared."
"Well, I ain't supposed to."
"Then you don't have to do it."
"Yeah, well, I think I do."

"You know all there is to know about fighting, so there's no sense us going down that same old road again. To beat this guy, you need speed - you don't have it. And your knees can't take the pounding, so hard running is out. And you got arthritis in your neck, and you've got calcium deposits on most of your joints, so sparring is out."
"I had that problem."
"So, what we'll be calling on is good ol' fashion blunt force trauma. Horsepower. Heavy-duty, cast-iron, piledriving punches that will have to hurt so much they'll rattle his ancestors. Every time you hit him with a shot, it's gotta feel like he tried kissing the express train. Yeah! Let's start building some hurtin' bombs!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars