TV: John Adams (2008)

3 Discs: Anamorphic


Review: A realistic take on the founding of the United States from the perspective of the second president, John Adams. Starting with the Boston Massacre where Adams defended the British Soldiers in court to his death on the 50th Anniversary of the Declaration of Independence, this mini-series reveals the founding fathers as real men instead of heroic icons, their groundbreaking accomplishments mixed with their faults. An amazing cast!

Quotes:
"You do not need to quote great men to show you are one."

"The time for negotiation is past. The actions of the British army at Lexington and Concord speak plainly enough. If we wish to regain our natural-born rights as Englishmen then we must fight for them."

"My dearest friend, the break is made and now our work begins. You will think me transported with enthusiasm but I am not. I am well aware of the toil and blood and treasure that it will cost us to maintain this Declaration and support and defend these states. It is the will of Heaven that the two countries should be sundered forever. It may be the will of Heaven that America shall suffer calamities still more wasting and distresses yet more dreadful. Yet through all the gloom, I can see the rays of ravishing light and glory and that posterity will triumph in that day's transaction."

"Have you learned nothing, Mr. Adams? If you continue to exasperate and antagonize these people..."
"As I did in Philadelphia and we declared independence, you recall."
"In Philadelphia we negotiated independence."
"Well, you may be as patient and accommodating as you like, doctor, but for myself, I will not voluntarily put on the chains of France while I am struggling to throw off those of Great Britain!"

"The charge of vanity is the last refuge of little wits and of mercenary quacks! I have long learned, that a man may give offense, and he may still succeed!"

"Paris is unique."
"Yes, and best enjoyed in the company of women."
"Women would add interest to many things, Mr. Jefferson, if men would allow it."
"Well, that has been my experience, Ms. Adams."

"The English love an insult. It's their only test of a man's sincerity."

"There is an opinion among some people, Mr. Adams, that you are not the most attached of all your countrymen to the manners of France."
"Yes, well, I avow to your majesty that I have no attachment to any country but my own."
"An honest man will never have any other."

"Abigail. Here's a fine culmination to all my years of service - fewer than half the votes of the electoral college. General Washington is unanimously acclaimed President with 69 votes, whereas I apparently am scorned by all but 34 of the electors."

"My country has in its wisdom contrived for me the most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived or his imagination conceived."

"I've been, as you know, in revolutionary France, where the streets are filled with the songs of Liberty and Brotherhood, and the overthrow of ancient tyrannies of Europe. And to return from there to this, our cradle of revolution, and find the dinner table chatter is all of money, and banks, and authority, is an unwelcome surprise."
"Unwelcome perhaps, but necessary."

"Mr. President."
"Thank you, sir. Thank you."
"I am fairly out, and you are fairly in. See which of us will be the happiest."

"My thoughts are so clear to me... each one takes perfect shape within my mind. But when I speak, when I offer them to others, they seem to lose all definition."

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: The Job - Complete Series (2001-2002)

DVD: 4 Discs (Full Screen for 1st Season & Anamorphic Widescreen for 2nd Season)


"Oh, I can't wait to see the headline in tomorrow's New York Post, Copper Crapper Caper... I got to write that down."
"I got another one, Cop held Craptive, Hostage Drama Flushed with Danger."

Review: Denis Leary plays almost the same exact character in "The Job" as he does in the more successful, "Rescue Me", except he is a NYPD Detective instead of a fireman. I prefer the 30 minute format of this show to the other, it is tighter and funnier with a better surrounding cast. I knew this was going to be a great show after the third episode, Bathroom. Too bad, it was cancelled after two seasons.

"How would she know what I do? Unless, of course, you tell her."
"You know how it is?"
"No, I don't, Pip. No, I don't. Okay, we're partners. Besides, we're men. Men are supposed to be able to share information with other men without stuff leaking to the enemy. That's what you're doing, leaking stuff to the enemy."
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are! Your wife was just here! My wife doesn't even know where this building is. You know what you need to do? You need to go home and get your balls out of her purse, or where ever the hell she keeps them. Slap them back on and start screaming bloody murder. That's what you need to do!"

"What's she having dinner with you for? I hear she's dating Jason Laramie."
"Who?"
"He's a model. Does underwear ads. There's one where he's under a cliff with a speargun. Another one, he's up on a ship, splashing himself with water. See him all the time in magazines, like InStyle..."
"You read InStyle Magazine?"
"...No."

"What'd I tell you? I told you he was bad. Strike 1, he's a lawyer. Strike 2, he's spent time in rehab. Strike 3, get this, he's married. Can you believe this guy? Married?"
"Well, let's see. My married partner just got off the phone with his girlfriend. Now he's upset she couldn't score the Tylenol laced with Codeine. No, I don't believe that guy!"
"Hey, totally different situation, man, totally different!!"

"So did you call public morals?"
"No, no, I'm not calling them. This is not a crime. This is a miracle."
"I'm going to go over there right now. Cover for me."
"Second Floor. Her name's Diane."

"What's up?"
"Some woman over on Madison Avenue causing a public disturbance, she's out on the sidewalk screaming at people."
"Be nice to her. That could be my mother. She's been in some mood lately."

"So, how do I look?"
"Very convincing."
"What do you mean, very convincing?"
"You're going undercover as a hooker, right?"
"No! I'm going out on a date."
"Oh, you look very nice."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the horses are on the track."
"Oh, what a beauty! Great legs. Nice cans!"
"Cans? Our horse has cans?"
"No, the blonde in the tube top."
"Frank, what does our horse look like?"
"Oh right, right. Oh, like she's ready to print us money!"

"Let me tell you something! Don't you ever, ever, mess with a black man's shrimp. Shrimp means power, wealth, success. Damn!"
"I'm sorry, man. I didn't know."
"Shrimp is the black man's lobster."
"Why isn't lobster, the black man's lobster?"
"Because lobster is the white man's lobster. We want our own damn lobster! Get out of my sight!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Lost - 6th Season

5 Discs - Enhanced 16x9


Review: The last season is better on re-watch. Instead of wondering about the answers we didn't get, I was able to enjoy the ones we did. The final episode is very emotional. The little epilogue special feature with Ben and Hurley was great, tying up a few loose ends with some great humor.

Quotes:
"Sawyer, I'm sorry. I thought we were supposed to... I thought it would work."
"Well, it didn't!!!"

"You know what you said back at the hatch? He's just trying to help us."
"I ain't gonna kill Jack. He deserves to suffer on this rock just like the rest of us."

"How is that even possible? I mean... One minute he's gone, and now he's fine?"
"Of course he's fine."
"What does that mean?"
"He's an Iraqi torturer who shoots kids. He definitely deserves another go-around."

"As you can see, Hugo here has assumed the leadership position, so... that's pretty great."

"I'm sorry we had to put you through that. It was a test. We had to be sure."
"Test to be sure of what?"
"Don't worry. You passed."
-----------------
"I just lied to him, didn't I?"
"Yes."

"Hello James."
"I thought you were dead."
"I am."
"Here's to being dead."
"You're taking this extremely well."
"Taking what extremely well?"
"That I'm here."
"I don't give a damn if you're dead, or time travelin', or the Ghost of Christmas Past. All I care about is this whiskey. So bottoms up... get the hell out of my house."

"Does anyone want to say anything? Didn't any of you know him?"
"All right, I knew him... John Locke was a... a believer. He was a man of faith. He was... a much better man than I will ever be. And I'm very sorry I murdered him."
"This is the weirdest damn funeral I've ever been to."

"I came back here because I was broken. And I was stupid enough to think this place could fix me."

"Are you going to hurt them?"
"Only the ones that won't listen."

"What are you doing running errands for Locke?"
"I ain't runnin' errands for nobody."
"He said he sent you over to the other island. Did you find the plane?"
"Yeah. And that ain't the only thing over there. A guy named Widmore set up camp on the beach, got a whole team with him. Guys with guns. They're here for Locke."
"So what are you gonna do?"
"I'm gonna let them fight it out. And while they got their hands full with each other... you and me are gettin' the hell off this island."
"Even if we could get on the plane, who's gonna fly it?"
"We ain't taking the plane, Freckles. We're taking the sub."

"Oooh, that's a lot of chicken."
"I eat when I'm depressed."
"Ah! So what's her name?"
"I met a girl on a blind date the other night."
"And it didn't go as you hoped?"
"Mmm! She was totally awesome, except for one thing. She's crazy."
"Well, all women are a little bit crazy, brother."

"I'll do it... This is why I'm here. This is... This is what I'm supposed to do."
"Is that a question, Jack?"
"No."
"Good."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Lost - 5th Season

DVD: 5 Discs - Widescreen Anamorphic


"Great! So when are we now, whiz kid?"
"We're either in the past... or we're in the future."

Review: I was a little disappointed at times watching this season, but watching it again on DVD I don't understand what my problem was. It is still great. I enjoyed the time traveling aspect of the show during the beginning of the season and the build-up to the exciting season finale.

"Awesome. Want a fry?"
"No, thank you."
"You know, maybe if you ate more comfort food, you wouldn't go around shooting people."

"How did you know Richard would be here?"
"Richard's always been here."
"How old is he?"
"Old."

"Kate, if we're going to be safe. If we're going to protect the people that we left behind, tomorrow morning I have to convince everyone to lie. If it's just me, they're never gonna go for it. So I'm going to turn to you first. Are you with me?"
"I have always been with you."

"Why'd you turn us around, then? Don't you want to go back there?"
"Why would I want to do that?"
"So you could tell yourself to do things different. Save yourself pain."
"No, I needed that pain to get to where I am now."

"Paddle harder!!! They're getting closer!" [Flash begins] "Thank you, Lord!" [Flash ends in a thunderstorm.] "I take that back!"
"Everyone paddle. Head for the shore."

"Where ever you are, John, you must be laughing your ass off that I'm actually doing this. Because this... This is even crazier than you were."

"You don't think it means something? That somehow... we're all back together?"
"We're on the same plane, Jack. That doesn't make us together."

"It doesn't matter what we do. Whatever happened, happened."
"Yeah, thanks anyway, Plato. I'm going over there."

"I am going to leave."
"You do realize it's 1974. Whatever it is you think you're going back to... It doesn't exist yet."
"That's not a reason not to go."
"Well, what about me? Your going to leave me here with the mad scientist and Mr. 'I Speak to Dead People'? And Jin, who's a hell of a nice guy, but not the greatest conversationalist."
"You'll be fine."
"Maybe... But who's gonna get my back?"

"When we were here before, I spent all of my time trying to fix things. But did you ever think that maybe the island just wants to fix itself? That maybe I was just... getting in the way."
"You know, I don't like the new you. I like the old you... who wouldn't sit around and wait for things to happen."
"You didn't like the old me, Kate."

"So you knew this would happen to Locke if we brought him back here?"
"Sun, I had no idea it would happen. I've seen this island do miraculous things. I've seen it heal the sick. But never once has it done anything like this. Dead is dead. You don't get to come back from that. Not even here. So the fact that John Locke is walking around this island scares the living hell out of me."

"Didn't think you'd come."
"Well, if this works, you might just save us all. And if it doesn't? At least you'll put us out of our misery."

"I'm starting to think John Locke is going to be trouble."
"Why do you think I tried to kill him?"

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: Lost - 4th Season

DVD: 6 Discs - Widescreen Anamorphic


"Daniel, why'd you bring the gun?"
"Uh, as a precaution."
"Precaution against what?"
"Uh, OK, see, um... Rescuing you and your people, I can't really say it's our primary objective."

Review: This was the flash-forward season where we learned how several of the survivors made it off the island. It was a shorter season due to the writer's strike so the storyline raced forward keeping things exciting.

"So how are we gonna do this?"
"You're not the best candidate for this kind of mission."
"And what kind of mission is that?"
"I gonna make Locke release Charlotte and I'm gonna do it without any bloodshed."
"As opposed to the way I'd do it?"
"The last time you encountered him, you put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. That's not good diplomacy."

"Kinda sucks, huh?"
"What's that?"
"Being told not to come along. Now you know what it feels like to be me."
"Does that mean I should wait 20 minutes and go anyway?"
"Touche."

"I went with Jack because I believe he can get us off this island."
"Then I guess that's the difference between us. I ain't looking to leave."
"Why not?"
"Cause I ain't got nothing back there for me."

"Do you regret following me out here? Are you worried what we should do next?"
"All I know is I'd be a lot more worried if I was sitting on that beach."
"And the rest of the group, what are they saying?"
"I think they're saying, Baa... That's the nice thing about sheep. They're predictable."

"I know this doesn't make sense because it doesn't make sense to me. But eight years from now... I need to call you. And I can't call you if I don't have your number."
"What?"
"Penny, just give me your number. I know I've ruined things. I know you think things are over between us, but they're not. If there's any part of you that still believes in us, just... just give me your number."
"What's to say you won't me call tonight? Or tomorrow?"
"I won't call... for eight years. December 24th, 2004. Christmas Eve... I promise. Please, Pen."
"If I give you the number, will you leave?"
"Aye."

"That woman, what was her name?"
"Harper."
"The two of you friends?"
"Not exactly. She was my therapist."
"You people had therapists?"
"It's very stressful being an Other, Jack."

"Linus will find a way to get it."
"And how will he do that."
"He wants to survive. And considering a week ago you had a gun to his head and tonight he's eating pound cake. I'd say he's a guy who gets what he wants."

"Did the bullet bounce off your skull or did the gun just jam on you?"

"You're here because you can see the cabin and that makes you special."
"Well, I have a theory as to why we're the only ones who can see it."
"I'd love to hear it."
"I think we can see it because we're the craziest."

"Ben, what did you do? You just killed everybody on that boat."
"So?"

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: Lost - 3rd Season

DVD: 6 Discs - Widescreen Anamorphic


"DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID?"
"I don't think you're stupid, Jack. I think you're stubborn."

Review: Another great season that ended with a mind-blowing bang. I enjoyed the first six episode mini-season as well. The "Others" were the main focus of this season and it was handled great. I will miss Charlie on the show, he was a great character. If he had to go though, they did a great job wrapping up his story.

"Hey, you got yourself a fish biscuit. How'd you do that?"
"I figured out your complicated gizmos, that's how."
"Only took the bears two hours."
"How many of 'em were there?"

"You did all this just to... just to keep me in a damn cage?"
"We did all this because the only way to gain a con man's respect is to con him. You're pretty good, Sawyer. We're a lot better."

"He'd want us to ransack his tent and take his stash? Yeah, that sounds exactly like Sawyer."
"Well, he stole it in the first place. People need food. They need medical supplies. They need... shocking amounts of pornography."

"You see this glass house you're living in, Jack? How about I get you some stones?"

"Ow! What the hell was that for?"
"So you'd cowboy up. Crying in the jungle! I thought you people were supposed to be tough."

"You had a sailboat?"
"Until we lost it to your Hostiles."
"That's very unfortunate."
"Well, at least we were able to kill one of them."
"Why are continuing to play this little game... when we all know it has moved to the next stage?"

"Where do you get electricity?"
"We have two giant hamsters running in a massive wheel at our secret underground lair."
"Yeah, that's funny."

"Why are you lying to me, mate?"
"Look, MATE... I've saved your life three times now. If that hasn't bought me your trust, I don't know what will. Let's move."

"How about a little afternoon delight? That means sex."
"I know."
"Come on, Freckles, wait! You need me to make you a mix tape?"
"Yeah, why don't you do that."

"The Others. The one you let go, he'll be back tomorrow with five of his mates. We should've killed him."
"You know, brother, by my count, you've killed more of them than they've killed of you."

"You're inside a room full of equipment. There's a blinking yellow light above a switch. You flip the switch. The light goes off. And you drown."

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: Lost - 2nd Season

DVD: 6 Discs - Anamorphic Widescreen


"It says 'Quarantine' on the inside of the hatch to keep you down here, keep you scared. But you know what? We've been up there for over 40 days and no one's gotten sick. You think this is the only part of it that's true? Did you ever think that maybe they put you down here to push a button every 100 minutes just to see if you would? That all of this, the computer, the button, it's just a mind game? An experiment?"
"Every... single... day."

Review: Some people say Lost declined in the 2nd season but I say it got better. The survivors from the tail section of the plane were a great addition to the storyline. Moving the castaways from the caves and into the hatch with the countdown computer was a great idea which added mystery to the show as well as being a great looking set.

"You should go ahead, man. Don't want Locke making time with your girl... Joke, Dude."
"Not really in the mood, Hurley."
"Really? Wow. Usually you're like, Mr. Ha-Ha."

"Howdy, boys, thanks for the rescue."
"Everything is cool, we had a talk and they believe we were on the plane, too."
"Swell. I guess we can all sue Oceanic together."

"I hated that you were a part of me. That I would never be good. That I would never have anything good. And every time that I look at Sawyer, I see you, Wayne. And it makes me sick."
"That's about the sweetest thing I ever heard."
"Sawyer?"
"Who the hell is Wayne?"

"We crash, two halves of the same plane fall on different parts of the island. You're over there. I'm over here. And here's the missing piece, right back where it belongs. What are the odds?"
"Don't mistake coincidence for fate."

"What if I don't? You going to beat me with your Jesus stick? I find it a little odd that your scripture stick has dried blood on it."
"Are you going to climb that tree or not?"
"What kind of priest are you anyway?"

"Libby's kinda cute, right? You know, in a 'I've been terrorized by the Others for 40 days' kind of way."

"Are you using?"
"What?"
"Heroin. Are you using again?"
"Kate sees a horse, nothing. Pretty much everybody's seen Walt wanderin' round the jungle. But when it's Charlie, it must be the bloody drugs, right?"
"It's funny, you didn't answer the question."

"John. The combination."
"I gonna go ahead and assume that you're asking me because you're worried that I might fall off a cliff or something, that it would be irresponsible for just one of us to have access to this room, rather than this being an issue of trust."
"Well, there are a lot of cliffs on this island, John."

"What happened out there, Charlie?"
"You want to hear the part about me nearly being killed by the flaming fire ball or the flying fork?"

4 out of 4 Stars

TV: Lost - 1st Season

DVD: 6 Discs - Anamorphic Widescreen


"Guys, where are we?"

Review: This is one of the most cinematic television shows that I have ever seen. This show does a good job of mixing mystery, character studies and comedy. It looks great in widescreen.

"You keep asking if there's anything."
"Pardon me for appearing desperate, but before the pilot was RIPPED FROM THE COCKPIT, he did say that no-one's going to find us unless we get that transceiver working. So... is there anything?"

"You're in my light, Sticks."
"Light sticks, what the hell is that?"
"Light, comma, sticks. As in those legs of yours."

"What? I am so not moving to the rape caves!"

"I think... that's why you and I don't see eye-to-eye sometimes, Jack because you're a man of science."
"Yeah, and what does that make you?"
"Me, well, I'm a man of faith. Do you really think all this... is an accident? That we, a group of strangers survived, many of us with just superficial injuries? Do you think we crashed on this place by coincidence, especially this place? We were brought here for a purpose, for a reason, all of us. Each one of us was brought here for a reason."

"Dear diary, still on the bloody island. Today, I swallowed a bug. Love, Claire."

"Got yourself one hell of an imagination, kid."
"There could be lots of other people on the island."
"So a tribe of evil natives planted a ringer in the camp to kidnap a pregnant girl and a reject from VH-1 has-beens. Yeah, fiendishly clever. And why am I getting the news from a six-year old?"
"I'm ten."
"Okay, then it must be true."

"What do you do in the real world, Mr. Locke?"
"It's John. Why don't you guess?"
"Well, you're either a taxidermist or a hit man."
"I was a regional collections supervisor for a box company."

"I can get it back."
"Really. How are you gonna do that?"
"I speak his language."
"You've done this before and if I remember it right, you made out with him, and he never even had what you said you could get."
"Well, I only made out with him because torturing him didn't work."
"Let him keep the gun. It's not worth it."

"Sawyer. I just think there might be something really wrong with him."
"And what does he think?"
"He says he's fine, but..."
"Then he's fine."
"Well, he could be playing it down. There could be something..."
"Look, Kate, I'd love nothing more than to check the guy out and make sure he's OK, but we both know all I'm gonna get for my trouble is a snappy one-liner, and if I'm real lucky, a brand new nick-name."

4 out of 4 Stars

TV: Looney Tunes Golden Collection - Volume 2

DVD: 4 Discs


Review: This second collection of Warner Bros. cartoons is top notch. The first disc contains mostly Bugs Bunny cartoons while the 2nd is filled with Road Runner shorts. The 3rd disc's theme is Sylvester and Tweety Bird. The last disc is unique. It is a mix of shorts with many different characters but they have a musical theme. Some of these last group are great but not all of them are to my taste.

Quotes:
"It's about time for me to employ a little stragety."

"The rabbits are coming. Hurray, hurray. / The rabbits are coming. Hurray, Hurray. / The rabbits are coming. Hurray, hurray."
"Zillions and trillions of rabbits! Where are they all coming from?"
"From me, Doc. I'm multiplying, see? I'm multiplying... Let see, what can I do to this guy next? Oh, no! It's too gruesome! But I'll do it."

"Hey, you turtle. Come out of there! Or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in... Uh, sorry. Pardon me. Wrong story."

"Oh, the poor puddy tat had an accident. The poor puddy tat's parachute didn't open."

"I now present an act that no other performer has ever dared to execute. In fairness, I must warn those with weak constitutions to leave the theater for this performance... Lights. Thank you... Some appropriate music, maestro. Thank you... First, I drink a generous portion of gasoline. Then some nitroglycerin. A goodly amount of gunpowder. Some Uranium 238. Shake well. Strike an ordinary match... Girls, you better hold on to your boyfriends. Swallow the match so."
BAM!!!!
"That's terrific, Daffy! They loved it. They want more."
"I know, I know. But I can only do it once."

"Yosemite Sam, the roughest, toughest he-man stuffiest hombre who's ever crossed the Rio Grande. And I ain't no mamby-pamby. Now be there any livin varmint who aims to try and tame me? Well, be there?"
"I aim's ta."

"Come on out, or I'll blow your head off."
"Drop that gun, son. You're not blasting at no ordinary, everyday, meat-on-the-table duck! I'm gifted. I'm just sloping over with talent. I can sing. I can dance. And I am an actor. I got a contract with Warner Brothers!"

"I'm a wee little birdy trapped high in a tree. / I wonder if puddy will ever catch me. / I'm hardly a mouthful. / I really can't see. / What puddy would want with poor little me. / I really mean it. / What puddy tat would want with meeeee?"

"We do this kind of stuff to him all through the picture."

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: Looney Tunes Golden Collection - Volume 1

DVD: 4 Discs


"Let's run through that again."
"Okay. Would you like to shoot me now, or wait till you get home?"
"Shoot him now. Shoot him now."
"You keep out of this. He doesn't have to shoot you now."
"Ha! That's it! Hold it right there! Pronoun trouble. It's not, he doesn't have to shoot YOU now. It's, he doesn't have to shoot ME now. WELL, I SAY HE DOES HAVE TO SHOOT ME NOW! SO SHOOT ME NOW!"

Review: What can I say about these classic cartoons? Chuck Jones and Fritz Freeleng created some amazing shorts that stand the test of time.

Robert McKimson's cartoons in this collection are mostly unwatchable. There was only one that was decent. They are easily skippable, but I took away half a star for them in the rating of these DVDs.

"Stop steaming up my tail! What are you trying to do, wrinkle it? Let's see now, Coachella Valley. Then to Las Vegas, San Bernardino..."
WHAMMM!!!!
"Of course, you realize this means war."

"All right, enough is enough. This is the final, the very, very last straw! WHO IS responsible for this? I DEMAND YOU THAT YOU SHOW YOURSELF! WHO ARE YOU!"
"Ain't I a stinker?"

"I paid my four bits to see the high-diving act and I'm a-gonna see the high diving act!"
"Well, you see friend, the fellow that..."
"Oh yeah? Well, someone is going to do that high-diving act! And that someone's a-gonna be you!"
"Me? Oh no, Doc, not me. You see, I'm scared of high places. I get dizzy spells. Goose bumps on my goose bumps."
"Oh yeah!" BANG BANG BANG
"Well, you talked me into it."

"Boo! Boo! Boo! The Gas House Gorillas are a bunch of dirty players. Why, I could lick them in a ballgame with one hand tied behind my back. All by myself. Yeah! I'd get up there and WHAM! A HOMER! WHAM! ANOTHER HOMER! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHA... Eh, what's up, Doc?"
"All right, big shot. So you think you can beat us all by yourself? Well, you got yourself a game."

"I am ze bankrupt!"
"Le meow. Le purr."
"Ah, Le pussy ferocious! Remove that skunk, that polecat from the premises! Avec!"

"Oh, wait till I get that rabbit."
"What would you want with a rabbit? Can't you see that I'm... much... sweeter? I'm... your... little... senorita. You are my type of guy, let me straighten your tie. And I... shall dance... for you."

"The world's supply of illudium fosdex, the shaving cream atom, is alarming low. Now, we have reason to believe that the only remaining source is on Planet X. Somewhere in this area."
"And you want me to find Planet X, is that it?"
"Can you do it, Dodgers?"
"Oh, indubitably, sir. Because there's no one knows his way around outer space like, DUCK DODGERS IN THE 24TH AND A HALF CENTURY!"

"I thought I saw a puddy cat. I thought I saw another puddy cat. Hey, I'm surrounded by puddy cats."

3 1/2 out of 4 Stars

TV: The Larry Sanders Show - 2nd Season (1993)

DVD: 3 Discs


Review: The rest of the seasons are finally being released. "Larry's Agent", "Artie's Gone" and "Broadcast Nudes" are some of the highlight episodes. There are a lot more celebrity guest stars this season. The bonus features on these DVDs are great.

Quotes:
"Lord, we thank thee for sparing the life of Larry Sanders... I first met Larry in the Spring of 1985. My cruise liner was moored off the coast of Portugal, I think..."
"AMEN!"
"Hank? Hank?"
"Yeah, Buddy?"
"Get the fuck off my bed."

"No more single dates. No more double dates. No more dates!"
"Okay, you're right, no more women. But listen to this, my place in Malibu, just you and me, no chicitas. A few glasses of port, some fine cubanos and maybe, I don't know, a couple of porno tapes..."
"Hank, about a ball game. How about that?"

"You just gave Michael Ovitz the finger. What's wrong with you?"
"Stop, he didn't even see it."
"He didn't need to see it. He can feel it. He is an agent. You know how many times he gets flipped off behind his back in a given week. He's sitting there right now, going 'Wow! Somebody just flipped me off.' It comes from deep down in those guys."

"There's something I did and I want you to tell me it wasn't a mistake."
"That's my job."
"Good."

"You're a hundred percent right. From the time he walked out, all I saw was him fucking my wife. And she was on top!"
"That lazy bastard! I am going to get rid of him now before something ugly happens."
"Artie, I'm fine. I'm a professional."

"C'mon, take a message. 'Well sir, thank you, but I'm a visionary so I'd like you to take your opinion and shove it right up your ass. Regards, Hank Kingsley.' Fax that back to him."

"You agent called."
"He always calls when I'm on the air."
"He'll call back."
"Yeah, he'll call me back tomorrow night when I'm on the air. Trick him, put him through tomorrow night."

"I am not going to be exploited and used!"
"C'mon Darlene! This is Playboy we're talking about. We're not talking about Hustler or Penthouse or Swank or Juggs or Screw..."
"Shhhh! Hey, you promised me that you'll keep this very low profile."
"I am."
"Ah, bullshit! Shouting out the names of some of this country's finest men's publications outside the ladies' crapper is not low profile."

"Phil, shut the fuck up!"
"Artie, Please! I'll handle it. Phil... shut the fuck up."

"Has Larry ever been romantically involved with any of the guests?"
"What the fuck kind of question is that? Do you think we have been busting our balls, doing 1,400 shows, so Larry can get laid? Believe me, if Larry Sanders wanted to fuck talent, he would have been an agent."

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: The Larry Sanders Show - 1st Season (1992)

DVD: 3 Discs


Review: Where are the other seasons? This is an amazing show about what goes on behind the scenes of a network talk show. The dynamic between Larry, Arnie and Hank is so fun to watch and the supporting cast do amazing work.

Quotes:
"I speak fluent bullshit."

"Hey now!"
"Now you see, I just told you to stop saying that."

"What about the time I chipped my tooth on the bathroom urinal? What the FUCK is so comical about that?!"

"And if you stop by here, you can say hello to my good friend, Larry Sanders... Hey now, Larry."
"Fuck off, Hank."
"And over here..."

4 out of 4 Stars

TV: The King of Queens - 6th Season

DVD: 3 Discs


"OH GOD, I'M A MONSTER!!"
"Huh?"
"I'm an accomplice to something terrible. I should just paint a scarlet A on myself. A for Adultery... Then, after this incident passes, I suppose it could stand for 'Arthur'. Well, that worked out well."

Review: This is a good season. The big changes this year was Carrie losing her job at the law firm and Leah Remini getting pregnant. They tried to disguise it as best they could but it became very apparent by the half-way point of the season. The 2 part season opener, Damned Yanky & Awful Bigamy were a few of the best episodes.

"I'm like, that's cool, that's cool. So how are you going to spend your last day here. And she says, get this, any suggestions? Oh, man. I'm in my delivery uniform. She's in her stewardess uniform. It was, it was like the first scene in a porno."

"In a lot of ways, being a lawyer, which I think we can agree we all are, is allot like being a package delivery guy."
"How so, Doug?"
"Oh, well ya knock on doors and hope you don't get bit by a dog."
"Sound like you've been in front of Judge Farnsworth."

"So what are you going to get?"
"I'm not sure yet."
"Heh, how about this. You pick the letter, I pick the number. Live dangerously."
"No, I don't think so. I can't risk ending up with a comb for lunch. I think I'm going to go with Fritos."

"What are you going?"
"Nothing, just, uh, shaving the 'stache."
"Losing the 'stache. Wow!"
"Yeah, I was thinking it was a little too, Motorcycle Cop."
"Really? Because to me it was more, Out-Of-Shape Porn Star."

"Here's the address. Go straight from work and the gallery is in SoHo. It's at an old meat packing warehouse."
"Okay. So they took out beef and moved in art. I have nothing more to say to you."

"See that girl over there. That's Trish Flintoff. I dated her like ten years ago."
"Yeah, what happened?"
"The way I ended things, I was, what you call in the business, a jackass."
"Take it easy man. You have been married for like eight years."
"I know, but I cannot be seen by her. She's on my top three most awkward people to run into list. Right after this friend of my dad who taught me how to 'wrestle'."

"While you were in the hospital after the surgery when you were sleeping, you were moaning all these girls names."
"What?"
"Yeah. Oh, Candice. Oh, Inez. Oooh, Tanya. It was sickening."
"No, those weren't girls. I was having a dream where I was helping someone name a litter of puppies."
"Oh. Well, apparently, two puppies named Britney and Christina were making out with you in a limo."

3 1/2 out of 4 Stars

TV: The King of Queens - 5th Season

DVD: 3 Discs


"Doug, we do not fight all the time! We are a loving couple that love each other very much!"
"You just threatened to burn the house down."
"Banter!"
"Why do you care if they heard anyway?"
"Because they don't know it's banter. They don't know that's just our way of airing things out and we'll make love later."
"We will?"
"No, I'm tired."

Review: Another great season with no season arcs, just funny individual episodes. "Mammery Lane", "Cowardly Lyin" and "Bed Spreads" were some of the best.

"I was wondering if I could get an advance on my money for walking Arthur."
"Uh, how much?"
"Like, say, seven hundred dollars worth."
"Seven hundred dollars? I got to be honest, Holly. I don't think he's got seven hundred dollars worth of walks left in him."
"I think he does. Well if it turns out he doesn't, we can certainly talk about some sort of refund."
"You comfortable putting that in writing?"

"What are you saying? You don't think I can handle it?"
"No, no, no! Sure, you can play football again. Why stop there, Doug? Hmm? Why don't you become a super hero, Captain Neckfat! Huh!?"
"That's nice. How long have you had that one in the holster?"
"You're... not... playing... semi-professional football. Okay? It's ridiculous."

"What's the matter? You got a little, Dennis the Menace, on your hands? What, did he put a frog in your desk? Give you a little hotfoot?"
"He feels me up constantly. He grabs my breasts every chance he gets."
"C'mon, he's a kid. That's what kids do and besides, I remember you laughing pretty hard when Deacon's baby used my dealies as a speed bag."
"I'm being sexually harassed, think about it. The kid gropes me. I can't complain about it or I won't get my promotion. That's Sexual Harassment 101."

"Yes, yes, yes, I got a couple pounds on you. No argument there. But don't you kid yourself. You're the one that rules this relationship."
"Oh, I rule the relationship. How do I rule the relationship?"
"With fear. I'm scared of you."
"Hmm, YOU'RE scared of me."
"Yeah, I said it. And frankly, I'm a little scared that I said it."
"You're so full of crap."
"Not crap. Terror."

"Look at you. What happened last night?"
"I went to drop off the vodka and he made me stay and have a drink with him. I don't remember much after that. Except at some point, I was dancing with men. Oh, and I may have played Russian roulette."

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: The King of Queens - 4th Season

DVD: 3 Discs


"Hey listen, uh. Since you're going to be seeing clearly from now on, I feel I should warn you. I'm a little overweight."

Review: Another solid season from the cast & crew. No real season long story arcs except Deacon & Kelly separate again and Spence & Danny become roommates. The great character of Holly is introduced as Arthur's dog walker.

"Our wives have very different size heads. Carrie, a little small, Kelly, a little big, but they pull it off."
"See now if they switch heads, see, that wouldn't work at all."
"Yeah, but if they did switch heads, who would you go home with?"
"I think you go with the head."

"Carrie's got a retreat with her law firm upstate. Hey listen, Deacon, can I get you to check in on Arthur?"
"There's no, uh, washing or wiping involved, is there?"
"No, he still on top of that."

"I am not moving up to the guest bedroom."
"Dad, you just had surgery, you're on new medication, I think I need to keep an eye on you."
"Keep an eye on me? No thank you, Senator McCarthy!"

"Leave it alone."
"What are you saying? Carrie's so out of my league that I can only get her to marry me by lying."
"Just leave it alone."
"I can't believe you."
"No problem, man. It's not a big deal. Women are just different. They need to think there is some magic fairy dust sprinkled over everything. All a man needs to know is that he's getting something 'special' on his birthday. Just leave it alone and let her believe."

"You know what? You're right. You're absolutely right. I'm sorry. Look, I'll make it up to you. Name it. What is it?"
"Strip."
"What?"
"That's right, a little strip tease. Offsie-Clothsie."
"You just pulled that out of your hat?"
"Oh no. I've been saving this one for a rainy day and it's pouring, sister."
"Well, can't I just melt some cheese on something for you?"
"If that's part of your act, sure."

"Okay look, before you start coping attitude I'm going to the gym again. So with all the extra food, it's a push. This area right here will remain unchanged. That's my pledge to you."

"You see. You were fighting me on this and it went great."
"Yeah! Oh, and by the way, it turns out when you're happily married and you're not desperate to pick someone up, the chicks just start flying at 'cha."
"At Cha? or at Deacon?"

"Meet the future. The prototype of the Arthur's Head Screwdriver. I fashioned it from an old typewriter key. You see, the letter A on the screwdriver will fit into the corresponding A-Hole in the Arthur Head Screw. So, how many units would be an appropriate first order for an item of this magnitude?"

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: The King of Queens - 3rd Season

DVD: 3 Discs


"Hi, I'm Doug. I'm a Pisces. I like walks in the rain and bags of pork rinds."

Review: This is the season where IPS goes on strike and Deacon & Kelly separate, which led to some great episodes.

"He's your boss. This is the perfect chance for you to get some brownie points, you know, stand out from the pack a little bit."
"All right, now I see how we got off track here. See, you want me to stand out from the pack where as I want to remain hidden and obscured by that very same pack. Carrie, it's how I survive, all right. Staying nameless and faceless. Not too good, not too bad, right on the cutting edge of mediocre."

"I'm going to join a gym and start a diet and whip this body into shape because no one is calling me, Fatty McButterpants, anymore."
"Someone called you, Fatty McButterpants?"
"On line at the bank yesterday, yeah."
"And it took seeing the Big & Tall Bag to push you over the edge?"

"Okay, Honey, you're all set. Here's the Speak-and-Say, his binkies, wipes, talc, diapers and butt cream."
"Butt cream? Where's this day heading?"
"Yeah, you wish."
"Like I'd waste a wish on that, huh?"

"Whoaah!!"
"Hello."
"Dad, you can't just come up here! I'm in my bra!"
"Settle down. I've seen better."

"Hey, you know what. I just figured out what I want for dinner. A nice, hot bowl of SHUT IT STEW!"

"Hey. How come you never greet me at the door, naked, like the other wives?"
"What other wives?"
"You know, you read about them."
"I'll get on that."

"Go ahead, man. Pull the trigger. But if you shoot me, Kelly shoots you."
"Yeah, but if Kelly shoots me, Carrie shoots Kellie."
"Then I shoot Carrie."
"Doug, you shoot me and you're never getting sex again!"
"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!"
"Oh, it's done."

"You've got to be naked to cheat."
"Wrong!!"
"Carrie, so you're telling me, if I met a women and we went out for a dinner or two and then, say I forgot to tell you about it, right? I'd be cheating?"
"YES!"
"Really? And that would be just as bad as if I actually slept with her?"
"YES!"
"Good to know."

4 out of 4 Stars

TV: The King of Queens - 2nd Season

DVD: 3 Discs


"You had a bike?"
"Sure, loved it too. The great open road, rumble of your machine, the camaraderie of your gang brothers."
"You were in a gang?"
"Not really. I asked them to let me in but they drank heavily all weekend and beat me pretty severely."
"Okay."
"And, I think, I may have been compromised by a gentleman named, Road Dog."

Review: This show continues it's excellence into the 2nd season. Assaulted Nuts, Meet By-Product, Wild Cards & Restaurant Row are some of the best episodes of the season.

"Listen, Deb's never met you, so tonight you might want to tone it down a notch."
"What?"
"You know what I'm talking about. I don't want them to think I married a bouncer, you know what I'm saying?"
"TONE IT DOWN?"
"Oh Lord."

"How do we decide who gets the extra ticket?"
"Hey, we can measure something. You know, like the length of something."
"All right."
"Or maybe there's another way."

"There's other things to do in life other than sitting on your ass and watching TV."
"Oh yeah, like WHAT?"
"I don't know. How about I buy you that Discman, huh, work on your abs like you said you would."
"Oh, get real. That was never gonna happen and you know it."

"Now listen to me, I am going upstate for a romantic weekend, you can come or not, but either way. I'm getting some."
"Maybe, I better be there for that."

"It has nothing to do with the girl, it's you. Obviously this thing has turned your whole world upside down."
"What? Has not."
"Oh, please. the nice pants, the cologne, the great sex."
"First of all, the sex was not that good."
"You were great."
"I disagree."
"Doug!"
"Look, my moves were clumsy. I was all over the place. I was out of control. How you got any pleasure out of it is a complete mystery."

"I think I'm going to be sick."
"Well, if you're going to puke, don't puke here, okay. You gotta puke in the bathroom."
"Alright, could you stop saying the word, puke, because it make's me wanna puke."
"Ok, I didn't know it was going to make you sick. I won't say it anymore... You wanna see my collection of puka shells?"

4 out of 4 Stars

TV: The King of Queens - 1st Season

DVD: 3 Discs


"Let me ask you a question. Would you say, basically, your life is good right now?"
"Yeah."
"Good wife, good job, the whole thing?"
"Yeah."
"Don't PICK at it!"

Review: This is a great show about an overweight lug and his loudmouthed wife as they deal with her father moving in with them. Every episode of this show gives me at least one good belly laugh. What more could you ask for in a sitcom?

"I think every married couple is entitled to one huge, horrible mistake on the house."
"You do?"
"Yes! I was hoping to save mine for an affair... but I'll use it here."

"...our relationship has been so simple. You know? We watch the games, drink beers, we eat chips, never share a deep feeling or thought. I don't want to LOSE THAT."

"I'm sorry, Dad. I'm going to have to turn the heat down."
"Go ahead, I am getting out anyway. I am in my birthday suit, so look away if your shy."
"Aaaah! Aah!"
"It's called gravity, Douglas, and it's coming for ya."

"There are playing 'Boogie Oogie Oogie'. This is our song."
"It is?"
"You don't remember in Junior High at Kim Eionola's birthday party. This song was on and you asked me to dance."
"Yeah, and you said no."
"I was shy."
"You gave me the finger."

"So, welcome to the 'Todd Had Your Wife Before You Did Club'."
"Hey, Kelly swore they didn't sleep together, they just fooled around."
"Which means what?"
"I didn't ask."
"Actually you've got to give the guy credit. He nailed both our wives and now here we are giving him gifts."

"I just feel so guilty."
"Ok, well look at it this way. Now he hates you, now he won't call you as much."
"I don't want him to hate me. I want him to love me AND not call me."

"I can't wait to have fat, loudmouth babies with you."
"Okay, what does that mean?"
"Cause I'm fat... and I'm a loudmouth too."

4 out of 4 Stars

TV: Just Shoot Me! - 3rd Season

DVD: 3 Discs


"What the hell is going on here? Dennis?"
"Going on? I tell you what's going on. We're living in a society where human privacy has taken a back seat to the ever watchful eye of big brother. Hidden cameras in our homes? What's next, bar codes on our heads? Shame on you, Jack Gallo. Shame on you and all the other fascists who are chipping away at our personal freedoms, each and every day."
"You stooped my nanny, didn't you?"
"Twice."

Review: Another great season of Just Shoot Me! that ends with Finch getting married to a supermodel. For awhile I thought they would never release another season on DVD.

"Breasts, eight letters?"
"Bazongas, Balloons, Knockers..."
"Seven letters beginning with a H."
"Hooters, Honkers, Highbeams..."
"Now in Spanish."
"Cha Chas, Pinatas, Maracas..."
"Oh, so you basically you spend all your time thinking of synonyms for breasts?"
"I also do bottoms."
"Alphabetically."
"Ass, booty, caboose, derriere, endzone, fanny, glutie-pops..."

"What are you up to?"
"Oh, not much. Jill has a crush on Maya and I'm playing matchmaker."
"Why?"
"Why? Call it a quest... Call it a dream... but if I can be part of, adjacent to, or even hear about two women frolicking in the secret garden then I will not have lived my life in vain."
"That's all very fine and dandy, but despite her fondness for Birkenstocks, Maya is not into women."
"Let me lay a little science on you, Nina. All women are two drinks away from a girl-on-girl adventure."

"Courtney, I don't know what's come over me, I think it's you. I'm just going to be bold. We've wasted so much time already. I just want to take you home, hold you tightly in my arms and together experience a world of possibilities."
"Wow! If by world of possibilities, you mean, the hottest, wildest, oiliest, night of crazy, freaky, monkey sex this side of Bangkok. Then I say, Saddle up Cowboy, you're going for the ride of your life."
"Giddy up."

"I shouldn't have said what I did... and, uh, well, I'm really sorry."
"Well, Mark, it's big of you to admit that. You were a little out of line. C'mon, look at me. I'm cool. All right? I'm not one of those freaky fans... Hi, you've reached Dennis Finch and..."
"Mark Hamill?"
"He He He... of the Rebel Alliance so leave a message, you losers. Ptchooh! Ptchooh! Ptchooh!"

"See, I feel better already. Hey, what was that button for?"
"Oh, that summons the police. How's the lollipop?"
"You don't understand. I'm returning this."
"Someone has to teach you a lesson and I know just the dirty cop to do it."
"But I'm doing the right thing."
"When you get to prison, be sure to knife the first guy you see. Now you'll spend two months in the hole, but they'll respect you."
"What's happening?"
"That's what you're going to say when they corner you in the laundry."

"Hey, there's the bell. What's your card say?"
"Oh Nigel, I'm frightened. Won't you push your head between my bosoms and comfort me?"
"How awkward, but if it says so on the card."
"And my buttocks, Sir, they're so very cold. Won't you cup them?"
"Hey, who's making bogus cards on the laser printer?"
"Oh, you bastard!"
"I never claimed to be otherwise."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Just Shoot Me! - 1st & 2nd Seasons

DVD: 4 Discs


"Oh, I just remembered. You're boring. And my legs work."

Review: This was a great show, a perfect vehicle for the dark wit of David Spade. The rest of the cast did wonderful character work to make it an excellent ensemble show with great chemistry. The episode, "Pass the Salt" with Brian Dennehy playing Finch's fireman father is a classic. The more I watch this show the more it grows in my esteem. When it first aired I enjoyed it but it was always overshadowed by shows like Seinfeld & NewsRadio.

"Ooh, a sex dream. How was I?"
"Absent."

"Finch, the copier's not working."
"Maybe the dark cloud over your head shorted it out."

"He's too old for you."
"Based on what?"
"Based on the number of times the Earth has orbited the Sun since he was born."

"So just forget about her, stop all contact, and get her out of your life."
"Yeah, thanks.......... If you're waiting for a hug, you might want to pack a lunch."
"THAT'S the Finch I know!"

"Your father, huh, I take it there's a problem."
"Forget it, nothing worse than listening to some sad-sack whining about how Daddy done wrong."
"Oh yeah, I know but... HEY!"

"We'll probably wind up at some bar watching TV and not talking to each other."
"You don't talk."
"Well, I didn't come from that Italian, Jewish, Catholic background... or whatever it is you got going."

"Hey Miya. I think I have an idea on how to get you more adventure points."
"I told you yesterday I'm not taking a bath with you."
"Ok, Gotcha. We'll leave that one up in the air, but here is my second idea."

3 1/2 out of 4 stars