Film: 48 Hrs. (1982) / Another 48 Hrs. (1990)

DVD: Anamorphic


"You said bullshit and experience is all it takes, right?"
"Right."
"Come on in and experience some of my bullshit."

Review: (48 Hrs.) A great buddy cop movie with a twist. Eddie Murphy is great as the convict that a loner cop, Nick Nolte, gets out of prison for 48 hours to help him catch a killer on the lam. Watching the relationship grow between the two (highlighted by their fistfight) from disdain to grudging respect is the best part of the film.

"Get this, man. We ain't brothers, we ain't partners, and we ain't friends. Now, if Gaintz gets away with my money, you're gonna be sorry you ever met me."
"I'm already sorry."

"The building opens up at 7:00. Wake me up at a quarter to. I'll be back here asleep."
"Shit!"
"Jack... Tell me a story."
"Fuck you!"
"Oh, that's one of my favorites."

"Class isn't something you buy. Look at you, you've got on a 500-dollar suit and you're still a low-life."
"Yeah, but I look good."

Review: (Another 48 Hrs.) A decent sequel. Well-done, but just covering the same ground as the first film without bringing anything new to the table.

"When you've been in prison as long as I have, you remember every story about pussy you ever heard."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Shane (1953)

DVD: OAR - Full Screen


"I'll kill him if I have to."
"You mean I'll kill him if you have to."

Review: A classic western about a gunslinger trying to reform but finds himself helping a group of homesteader families against a cattleman trying to drive them off the land. It all builds up to the great showdown in the Saloon.

"That's too bad. You've lived too long. Your kind of days are over."
"My days? What about yours, gunfighter?"
"The difference is, I know it."
"All right. So we'll all turn in our six-guns to the bartender, and we'll all start hoeing spuds. Is that it?"
"Not quite yet."

"Shane! Come back!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Scrubs - 3rd Season

DVD: 3 Discs


"I cannot figure out what's wrong with Mrs. Farr. I gotta go ask Cox."
"Why wouldn't you ask me?"
"Because you're a surgeon. You just cut people up. You don't actually know anything."
"Oh, yeah."

Review: Another good year that builds to Turk and Carla's wedding at the end. J.D. spends the season pining after Elliot who is finally in a serious, but long-distance relationship with a marine biologist. It is not as clever as the first two years, but has not gotten too repetitive like the later seasons.

"I'm just going to show Sean that he will always come first."
"Gosh, I hate to interrupt this one-gal pep rally, Barbie, but I give this guy two weeks, three if you are just terrific in the sack."
"Well, then, it's three. Uh... I mean, you're wrong."

"I miss Sean. This long-distance thing is killing me."
"Well, are you having phone sex?"
"Uh... Gross. Have you and Turk ever done it?"
"Last year when he went home for the holidays I gave him a call. You'd be surprised how Turk's 11-year-old nephew sounds like him, and how worldly he is."

"Thank God! We just dodged a bullet because I am nowhere near ready to perform this type of procedure solo. I would have been terrified, you guys would have sensed it and it would've been a horrible experience for all of us."
"Dr. DiStefano is stuck in surgery. It's all on you, Dr. Turk."
"Piece of cake. Who's with me? Come on!!!"

"So did you break up with her?"
"I was going to last night but I looked into her eyes and I realized how rare it is to meet someone who's willing to have sex with me."

"Shower shorts?"
"For the man who has nothing to hide, but still wants to."

"I guess I could go home, but there's plenty of important stuff I need to to do around here. Hey Laverne, what would you give me if I get this jelly bean into your cleavage?"
"A concussion."

"Mr. Corman, you're not even feeling bad. You don't need this scan. If it would make you happy, we could do the same thing we've done the last 50 times you've been here. Take your temperature and blood and give you a rectal. Your basic Ah, Ow, Oooo!"

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: Scrubs - 2nd Season

DVD: 2 Discs


"Good job, D.J."
"You know, it's J.D., okay? At least I remember the names of all my sexual partners."
"Well, I'm sure that girl from high school and your bunk mate from Camp Morning Wood are both extremely grateful."
"Camp Meadow Wood."

Review: The second season of Scrubs continued strongly as it followed the Doctors becoming Residents in the hospital. This year concentrated more on the relationships of the characters. Amy Smart was great as the T.C.W.

"I owe you one. I'm helping you out."
"This isn't like being a janitor. It's not something everybody can do."
"Oh, so you can do my stuff, but I can't do yours? Okay, hotshot, what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tiled floor?"
"I don't know. The rough side of a sponge?"
"Damn it."

"So we're even, right?"
"Even? I told a nurse you switched her shift. You babbled all my crazy to the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with."
"I could spend the rest of my life with Lauren, or at least with her tushie. I just want to wash it. Is that weird?"

"Sharp coat, sport."
"Shocker, Big Bob! You care more about appearances than..."
"Better finish that thought quickly, Perry. I'm not breaking my gait."
"...just saying, substance, style, what's important, coat, not..."
"Ha, ha. Too slow."

"T-dog, settle a medical debate for us. I think Elliot's got a modest rack at best. But my favorite attending here says that when he was tuning in Tokyo the other night, the reception was excellent."
"Guys, Elliot's a friend of mine, so I don't want to talk about that. Okay?"
"So, Dr. Turk, how is your back?"
"My back's as swollen as Elliot's big-ass breasts, Sir."

"Look, I don't have time right now to be the 100-watt bulb for your annoying little moth, so if you could just fly away, that'd be great. Just fly away."

"You know what we could do? We could have sex again. I'm throwing it out there."
"Bite me."
"Oh, come on, I'm sorry. I was kidding. It's a joke."
"No, I mean it. Like you did last night. Come bite me."

"Awww, damn! I missed the annual sleepover, didn't I? That wonderful time of year when you two crazy kids throw caution to the wind and make sweet, elbowy love to each other. Don't be shy. You can tell Uncle Coxy about the naught-ay."

"You know, sir, Dr. Townsend was telling me you have some great old stories about the hospital. I'd love to hear one sometime."
"Well, what the hell. Back in '68... I don't like you. The end."
"He tells that one a lot."

"I don't know that many straight guys that wear cologne."
"I'm down to one spritz."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Scrubs - 1st Season (2001)

DVD: 3 Discs


Review: A comedic take on a medical show based around a group of first year interns working at a hospital and the main character, J.D., who has a wild imagination.

Quotes:
"And like that, I was back in high school. Surgical interns are all slice 'em and dice 'em. They're the jocks. Medical interns, we're trained to think about the body. Diagnose, test. Medical interns, well... we're the chess club."

"Write this down, newbie. If you push around a stiff, nobody'll ask you to do anything."

"I'm waiting for someone."
"The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open."
"Maybe there's a penny stuck in there."
"Why a penny?"
"I don't know."
"Did you stick a penny in it?"
"No, I was making small talk."
"If I find a penny in there... I'm taking you down."

"It turns out we can't save people from themselves. We just treat 'em and when he comes back with cancer, go ahead and treat that, too. Smokers, drinkers, druggies, fatties, whatever. All I'm saying is if you keep living and dying on whether or not a person changes, well, you're not going to make it as a doctor, that's all."

"How's it going?"
"I'm 37 years old and I'm a janitor. How do you think it's going?"
"Now there is nothing wrong with being a janitor."
"Really? Thank you. You've turned my life around. I have to go tell my janitor wife and all my janitor kids that life is worth living. And that comes straight from our hero, Dr. Whozits, Dr. Nothing. No, seriously, come on. You can come over to my humble house and point out things that are cheap."

"I have magic breasts."

I'm very proud of you, Dr... uh... Dr. Turk!"
"Oh, this is my roommate's badge, so we must have switched them this morning when we..."
"That's a great anecdote, you should write that down in your journal so your kids can read it when you're dead."

"Since I cut you loose, it's been one big party."
"In the next five seconds, name one place, other than the hospital and your apartment, that you've been to in the last month. Five... four... three... two..."
"My car... on the way to the... big party."

"Doctor Cox! I pulled all the x-rays you asked for, so I am yours for the night. Do whatever you want with me. Oh my God, that totally came out wrong I just meant I want you to use me and I don't care how degrading it is."
"What?"
"No, no, no, it's just that I know that you like torturing people and I am totally up for that. I just want to make you happy."

"Bravo, just a big bravo! Heaven help me, I love newbie theatre! Honest, I do! It's the way you both play your parts, with such wonderful commitment, that almost had me believing that you aren't having whiny, neurotic, extremely pale sex with each other."

"Why hasn't he asked me out? I mean, he knows I'm single, I've mentioned, like, five movies that I want to see, I even keep dropping things so that when I pick them up he can see how flexible I am!"

"Who gets to tell us the symptoms of Menier's Disease? Dr. Murphy!"
"Can you use it in a sentence?"

"I just wanna know... if I can buy you dinner."
"That'd be terrific."
"Great! I'm off in, like, a half hour."
"Oh, no. Here, I was led to believe that you were doing a gift certificate kind of thing. But, to sit and eat... with you, that's just... that's crazy talk!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Catch Me If You Can (2002)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Ah, people only know what you tell them, Carl."

Review: A fun film about a young con man and the FBI Agent trying to track him down in the 60's. Steven Spielberg directed a fast paced film and Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks are perfect in their roles.

"Mr. and Mrs. Abagnale, this is not a question of your son's attendance. I regret to inform you that, for the past week, Frank has been teaching Mrs. Glasser's French class."
"He what?"
"Your son has been pretending to be a substitute teacher, lecturing the students, uh, giving out homework, uh. Mrs. Glasser has been ill, there was some confusion with the real sub. Your son held a teacher-parent conference yesterday and was planning a class field trip to a French bread factory in Trenton."

"He doesn't have a passport."
"For the last six months, he's gone to Harvard and Berkeley. I'm betting he can get a passport."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Full Metal Jacket (1987)

DVD: Shot in Full Frame Ratio by Director


"Are you shook up? Are you nervous?"
"Sir, I am, Sir."
"Do I make you nervous?"
"Sir?"
"Sir, what? Were you about to call me an asshole?"

Review: This movie is almost two separate films, while the first half in boot camp was a five star masterpiece, the second half in Vietnam stumbled behind with four stars. Maybe it just suffers in comparison to the genius in the beginning. I saw this movie one week before I left for basic training in the Army and it scared the shit out of me so this movie will always have a place in my heart.

"Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!"

"Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pertty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful."

"Hey, you got girlfriend, Vietnam? Me so horny. Me love you long time."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Saturday Night Live - The Best of Will Ferrell, Vol. 2

DVD: 1 Disc


"And don't forget France. The French don't like me saying Axis of Evil. So guess what, they're now part of the very same Axis of Evil that they don't like me saying. How do you like them apples, France? Next time you keep your mouth shut. You mess with Texas and it's straight to the Axis of Evil. Got it?"

Review: This is a good mix of very funny Will Ferrell skits with a few average ones thrown in to pad it out. The extra never-before-seen skits are quite funny as well as the included interviews with Conan O'Brien.

"That evening, Virginia and I made love so powerful methinks I heard the god, Zeus, chuckling from on high."
"And I was there."
"Do you mean?"
"Bingo! We did a three-way."
"Now mind you, Catherine, this was looong time ago."
"Yes, yes, this was a year and a half ago."
"Gross!"

"Just work here. Take some time to weigh the Pros and Cons. Pros - You'll be working for a slightly above-average in-flight magazine for 22,000 a year. Cons - Me kicking you till there's blood in your stool, then grabbing your wife's boobies while you're tied up with a racquetball shoved in your mouth. Now balance it out and just think about it."
"I am, I just don't think I want to work here."
"Fair enough, ordinarily I'd whip your nuts with a car antenna for that kind of attitude, but you thought about it and you don't want to work here."

"I'm sorry, you have the wrong number. No, there's no 'Mark' here. My name? It's Mark. No... I spell it with a C. Who put you up to this? What do you mean you're my 'wife'? O-kay... if you're my 'wife', what's our cat's name? Mr. Stitches... Damn, you're good!"

"You're not suggesting?"
"That's right, a Pose-Off."
"Very well then. A Pose-Off it is. Have at thee!!"
"I call this one, Sunday in the Park with my Appendectomy Scar."
"Here's a little something I call, One Ball for Sister Sarah."
"All right, okay! That's enough! Enough! I want both you out of here now and I never to see either one of you at this community college again."

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: Saturday Night Live - The Best of Will Ferrell, Vol. 1

DVD: 1 Disc


"Okay, wait. Wait! Stop! Um, Bruce, could you come in here for a second, please?"
"Certainly. That was gonna be a great track. Guys, what's the deal?"
"Are you sure that was sounding okay?"
"I'll be honest, fellas. It was sounding great, but I could of used a little more cowbell. So, let's take it again. And Gene..."
"Yeah?"
"Really explore the studio space this time."
"You got it, Bruce."
"I mean, really... explore the SPACE. I like what I'm hearing. Go with it."

Review: This is a very strong collection of Will Ferrell skits from Saturday Night Live. I liked the extras which included his audition to join the show. My only disappointment was the three chapters on the DVD which showed brief clips of skits instead of their full length versions.

"I've gone out and done the musical world a freakin service and cut this compact disc. It's called The Coconut Bangers Ball: It's a Rap. Ha, Ha, Ha. A little inside, I know. Anyway, what you get is one full hour of rip-roaring rap music. Not by some dubious ruffians without the chops, but by a professionally trained voiceman. No musical accompaniment. It's just me out there, Robert Goulet. Watch what I do with this little ditty from Mr. Sisqo called, The Thong Song."

"Hey, now Ken, we all know that the moon is not made of green cheese."
"Yes, that's true, Harry."
"But what if it were made of BBQ spare ribs, would you eat it then?"
"What?"
"I know I would. Heck, I'd have seconds. And then polish it off with a tall, cool Budweiser... I would do it. Would you?"
"I... I... I'm confused."
"It's a simple question, Doctor. Would you eat the moon if it were made of ribs?"
"I don't know how to answer that question."
"It's not rocket science. Just say yes and we'll move on."

"Nothing pleases me more than seeing two new lovers take off into the night mist."
"Yes, Lover, I think there is only one reward for the job we've done."
"Let the screams of our love-making reverberate off the roof of the Welshly Arms and into the night sky."
"Oh, Lover. Oh, Lover."
"Ow, Ow! My back!"
"What? Your back? I thought the water might help..."
"Well, it doesn't. GET THE HELL OFF ME!"

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Airplane! (1980)

Blu-Ray:


Review: The slapstick spoof comedy classic that started a new genre of it's own. Lots of great word play and sight gags!

"Nervous?"
"Yes."
"First time?"
"No, I've been nervous lots of times.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking... We're regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered. There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight... By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"

"Can you fly this plane, and land it?"
"Surely you can't be serious."
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."

"Our only hope is to build this man up. We gotta give him all the confidence we can... Striker, have you ever flown a multi-engine plane before?"
"No, never."
"Shit. It's a God damn waste of time. There's no way he can land this plane."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: American Pie (1999)

DVD: Anamorphic


"I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking USE them!"

Review: This movie is a mixed bag due to it's large cast. I only found about half of them to be funny or interesting. This created a real up and down viewing experience for me. That said, the good outweighed the bad with lots of funny dialog throughout.

"Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?"
"...like warm apple pie."

"What's my name? Say my name, bitch!"
"Michelle! Michelle!"

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Awakenings (1990)

DVD: Anamorphic


"What's it like to be them? What are they thinking?"
"They're not. The virus didn't spare their higher faculties."
"You know that for a fact?"
"Yes."
"Because?"
"Because... the alternative is unthinkable."

Review: This was the movie that introduced me to Robin Williams' talented acting in a non-comedic role. This is great movie and Robert DeNiro was great as the patient who awakens from a decades long comatose state due to an experimental drug.

"You'd think at a certain point all these atypical somethings would amount to a typical something."

"My son is in pain! Please, stop this!"
"He's fighting, Mrs. Lowe."
"He's losing."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: The Great Outdoors (1988)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Chet is gonna shit a solid gold brick when he sees us."

Review: Another fun vacation movie with John Candy in the vein of "Summer Rental". Dan Ackroyd plays the annoying brother-in-law who crashes the cabin trip of Candy's family and has allot of the funniest lines. It is written by John Hughes and is filled humorous situations but little plot.

"Pontoon boat? Whaddya going to do with a pontoon boat? Retake Omaha Beach?"

"Why do Chet's kids look at him like he's Zeus and my kids look at me like I'm a rack of lawn tools at Sears?"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: French Kiss (1995)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Do you believe in love? The kind that lasts forever?"
"I loved my mother."
"No, everyone loves their mother. Even people who say they hate their mothers love their mothers. My question is, one man for one woman?"
"It is not a very interesting question. It is the question of a little girl who still believes in fairy tales."

Review: This is a pleasant romantic comedy that resonates with me because Kevin Kline's character reminds me of my father in a way. I also saw it for the first time right after my first trip to Europe so it takes me back. The DVD transfer is pretty weak.

"Look, I just spent seven hours on an airplane crossing an ocean. I'm tired and I'm hungry and I just want to see my fiance. Now are you going to help me or not?"
"Madame, it is my duty as concierge to vigorously safeguard the privacy of our guests, and if our guests need safeguarding from their own fiancees, well after all, unlike some countries, France is not a nation of puritanical hypocrites."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Boyz N the Hood (1991)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Either they don't know, don't show, or don't care about what's going on in the hood."

Review: This is the best movie ever made about growing up in South Central LA. It starts out as a kind of urban "Stand by Me" for the first quarter, but quickly jumps ahead to the critical time in the lives of the teenagers as they face choices on how they are going to live as adults. Laurence Fishburne is great as the strict father who teaches his son responsibility.

My only problem with the movie is the father advising his son not to join the Army based on his experience in Vietnam and the belief that the Army is no place for a black man. Personally, from my time in the Army, I had nothing but great respect for all the black authority figures I had from my Drill Sergeants, Squad & Platoon Leaders and the Captain of my first company.

"Why is it that there is a gun shop on almost every corner in this community?"
"Why?"
"I'll tell you why. For the same reason that there is a liquor store on almost every corner in the black community. Why? They want us to kill ourselves."

"Trey, your pops is like mothafuckin Malcolm... Farrakhan."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Tootsie (1982)

DVD: Anamorphic


"I'd like to make her look a little more attractive, how far can you pull back?"
"How do you feel about Cleveland?"

Review: A great cross-dressing movie of an out-of-work actor who tries out for a role as a women on a soap opera so he can raise money for a play. It nicely balances comedy and drama as he falls in love with his female co-star who befriends his alter-ego, but he can't act on it under his secret guise.

"I don't like when somebody comes up to me the next day and says, 'Hey man, I saw your play. It touched me; I cried.' I like it when a guy comes up to me a week later and says, 'Hey man, I saw your play... what happened?'"

"I don't believe in hell. I believe in UNEMPLOYMENT, but not hell."

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: Perfect Strangers - 1st & 2nd Seasons

DVD: 4 Discs


"Color TV!"
"Yeah, haven't you ever seen color TV before?"
"Of course I have. Don't be ridiculous. BLUE!!!"

Review: This is a show where the actors' delivery of the lines & physical comedy trumps the show's average writing. I find myself laughing and smiling at the antics of immigrant Balki and his cousin, Larry, in spite of the groan-inducing lesson that must be learned at the end of each episode. I can't get enough of the cheesy theme song at the start of each episode either.

Maybe it is the fact the show was recorded on video instead of film, but this has the worst visual quality of any TV on DVD I have yet seen of an older show. Still not as bad as broadcast quality though.

"Balki, meet Susan. She's our neighbor."
"Hi. Nice to meet you."
"Would it be impolite to ask if I could be your slave for life?"
"Well, uh, I think that's illegal... Oh, he's cute."
"This cute Mediterranean boy means every groveling word. Take me and do with me what you will."

"The least I can do is make you better for your date. Now, the wolf bane is for your runny nose. The pumpkin mold is for your cough. And the garlic just makes you feel good all over."
"And I bet it keeps away vampires."
"Well, that's a side benefit."
"Balki, why don't you go into the kitchen and try to turn some lead into gold? Leave me alone."

"What's wrong with Vegas?"
"Are you kidding? Vegas is a moral wasteland. It goes against everything I was ever told I believe in."

"I had no idea my date would make your life so complicated."
"Don't worry about it. Everything makes my life complicated."

"Nobody can survive like this."
"You know the trouble with you Americans is you can't take a little hardship. You know, in Mypos, we lived with it constantly. Take the Great Alfalfa Famine of '82. Hungry sheep staring into space. Hungry men staring back at them."

"Cousin, here's a shot in the dark. Why don't you ask her?"
"Just ask her? Balki, Balki, Balki. You have to read women. You have to interpret the subtle nuances of what they say or don't say. The way they look at you or don't look at you. The way they touch you or, in my case... don't touch you."
"Boy, life is hard work for you."

"I'm feeling sorry for myself. If you were a real friend, you'd join in."

"Now we are so happy, we do the Dance of Joy."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Tomboy (1985)

DVD: Anamorphic


"My car's got a lot of balls. Do you think you can handle it, little girl?"

Review: This film is like one long R Rated Mentos commercial. Hilariously Cheesy! The dance audition sequence is so, so, so bad that it is very funny. The sexy Betsy Russell plays a mechanic who builds her own race car and races it against her chauvinistic pro-racer boyfriend to prove her abilities. The race cars and the track at the end of the film really expose the low budget.

"I like what I see. How about you?"
"I like the jet-propulsion afterburners with overhead air-scoop."
"So you're into that aerospace crap?"
"It works."
"Bullshit! What matters... is the handling."

"What are you laughing at? I made you eat my dust all the way."
"You should be careful, Tomboy. You get all that grease washed off, you might discover you're a girl after all."

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Wings - 5th Season

DVD: 4 Discs


"Joe, when did you become such a prude? It seems I remember back when we were dating, someone got a little frisky at the Museum of Fine Arts."
"We never went to the museum."
"Oh well, you know... You missed a great exhibition."

Review: This is the season that Helen is in a long distance relationship with Davis and Brian and Alex are together. A lot of good episodes but the best is when Joe can't take the pressure any more and flees for the tropics.

"Hey listen, when it comes to matters of the flesh, do what I do. I say...."
"Oh my Lord, he's going to tell us."
"...I say a real man never loses an opportunity. That's why I always have 'Cold Duck' in the refrigerator and a fresh tape in the camcorder."
"Hey, does anyone ever go out with you twice?"
"It doesn't matter. That's why I got the camcorder."

"I was running... my socks fell down... I went to pull them up... fell on my tailbone."
"Precisely why I run in the nude. There's nothing like feeling the wind blow through... Well, pretty much everything you got."

"Nauseous, huh? That never happens to me. I can eat just about anything. Well, that's not true. There's one thing I can't stomach. It's when you take a bite of chicken and a big ol vein comes snapping back at ya."
"This is Lowell Mather, our chief mechanic."
"Charmed."

"Alex is really mad at me."
"Does the whole world have to revolve around your love life?"
"Wouldn't it be a magical place?"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute. We've waited this long. We should make our first time really special."
"Let's make our second time really special. Let's make our first time really soon."

"My instructor promised that the mouse would only be used for a few harmless experiments, but he lied."
"Ah, they always lie. First, they suck you in with milk and cookies. Next thing you know, you're running naked through a maze."

"Helen's a little upset because Lynch bought her this flimsy black lace teddy."
"I'm not going to sleep in it."
"You're not supposed to sleep in it. You put it on, do a half-gainer off the headboard and throw it in the corner till morning."

"You're a pilot, huh?"
"Yeah, that's right."
"It must be pretty romantic. I mean, the glamour, the risk, the freedom of the open sky. Oh my God! How lame? The freedom of the open sky."
"No, no, actually, it's not lame at all. Flying your own plane is pretty glamorous."
"Joe, we're running low on barf bags."

"Brian, I would love to go out with Courtney, BUT 19! Wouldn't people talk?"
"Hey Joe, you're a good looking guy in his thirties without a girlfriend. Trust me, people are already talking."

"They want us to go to a party, down at the beach."
"Ooh! You know what, maybe I better just go home to Alex."
"Oh, poor Brian. We understand. It's okay. Hey, wait a minute, you got a little something sticking out of your collar. Oh look, it's a leash."
"Hey! I know what your trying to do, man. You're trying to embarrass me into going out with ya. Let me tell you something... it worked! Let's go!"

"I can't believe Brian, he actually went."
"And after you told him in no uncertain terms that he could."
"Exactly. Why can't men understand that go means stay?"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Wings - 4th Season

DVD: 4 Discs


"No lie, Antonio. We were forced to make a water landing."
"We spent eight hours at sea."
"Freezing cold in a lifeboat."
"...with Roy."
"Oh God! You poor people."

Review: This is another good season of Wings that introduces the character of Alex, the female helicopter pilot that Brian and Joe compete over for most of the season. "Blackout Biggins" and "It's So Nice to Have a Mather Around the House" are a couple of my favorite episodes.

"Look, I've found the perfect nose, page 7. The Mitch Gaylord."
"Who?"
"Mitch Gaylord, the Olympic Gymnast. He won the gold in '84."
"Ah, I remember him. He's very muscular, very graceful, very... Excuse me, I've got to go pick up a copy of something with naked women."

"Roy, you old dog, you finally got her. Helen, I'm more than a little disappointed in you."

"When I'm here. When I'm at the gym. I'm in a zone. It's just me, my machine and my muscle group. You know?"
"Slick..."
"Excuse me. I'm trying to focus, okay? Aargh!"
"When you're through focusing, you might want to turn around because you're in that thing backwards."

"Brian, look what I found in your room this morning. Didn't anyone ever teach you where dirty dishes go?"
"Well, Lowell, I like to eat a sandwich in bed while I watch TV. Some times I raise the degree of difficulty and bring in a woman."

"Wait, you've been arrested?"
"Well, I'm not proud of it. It was during an Anti-War Rally in San Francisco in 1966."
"What, you never said you were a protester."
"Well, I wasn't. I was a shopper. I bumped into Abbie Hoffman coming out of Gump's. He called me a fascist pig and I decked him. It took me a week to get the smell of marijuana off my knuckles."

"I would rather be alone, then be with that loser we met tonight."
"What was that on his head? A toupee or a piece of sod?"
"I want that guy's mirror. You know, the one that talks back to him and says, "Hey, Lookin Good!'"

"First, we flew to Maine and we found the most incredible place for lobster. Then after dinner, we just stumbled across this funky little miniature golf course. Then on the way back to the plane, you won't believe what we found leaning against this old oak tree."
"A tandem bicycle."
"Wow, how did you know?"
"Congratulations! You just went on Brian Hacket's Date Package Number Seven."
"What?"
"Yeah, it just one of those spontaneous little evenings he spent years perfecting."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Wings - 3rd Season

DVD: 4 Discs


"How could Helen do this to me? How could she just drive her Jeep through my office?"
"Uh, let's see. You ask her to come back to Nantucket. You lead her to believe that you're still in love with her and then she finds out you are involved with another women. Let's see if we can piece this mystery together."
"Does that justify her destroying my private property?"
"No, but I salute her sense of whimsy."

Review: The 3rd season started off great with Joe's office being destroyed three times and ended with a good cliff-hanger. Some of my favorite Wings episodes are from this year. This is the season where Antonio the cabdriver became a main character on the show.

"What's the world coming to? Listen to this. It says here 15% of the American public would rather watch television than have sex."
"15%, yeah, I'd buy that, yeah. You know, maybe you're too tired or she's too... Uh, what's a nice way to put this? Ugly."
"The words, 'Too Tired, are not in my vocabulary and frankly, Roy, I don't think the words, 'Too Ugly' should be in yours."

"Give me that, Hackett. I'll be your delivery boy."
"Do you know what to do?"
"Oh sure, I served a subpoena to my mother once."
"You sued your own mother?"
"I just served her. Dad made me. See, the trick with these things is to surprise the subpoenee. Not let them see what's coming. Observe... Here you go!"
"What's this?"
"It's a subpoena, Toots. You can consider yourself served."

"Okay, okay, okay! Oh, Helen, I'm so ashamed. I can't even look you in the eye."
"Well try, Roy, because right now you are looking at my breasts."

"I'm very pleased to meet you, Brian with an I. You know, my friends have accused me of forgetting how to laugh. You'll have to teach me again."
"Ok, but it may involve feathers and some nudity."
"Yes, it may at that."

"Alright look. Guys, if we really want to get Joe here, there's no way he's going to fall for just any run-of-the-mill story. This calls for a masterpiece of BS. I am going to go inside that office, pull on my hip waders, and shovel myself a Mona Lisa."

"What the hell was that?"
"I don't know. I don't know. One minute we're spanking each other with meat, the next minute it got weird."

"I haven't had a date in forever."
"None of us have. It's been six month's since I've been on a date and that was with a total moron... Oh, stop counting, Joe. It wasn't you. When I dated you, I was the moron."

"Joe, I know you're only trying to help, but I think you really stirred up a hornet's nest here."
"Who said I'm trying to help?"
"All of a sudden I'm proud to be a Hackett."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Wings - 1st & 2nd Seasons

DVD: 4 Discs


"May I please have your attention. We regret to inform you that Sandpiper Air, Fight 14 to Boston, has been further delayed due to mechanical difficulties."
"Aaaah, no!"
"But on the bright side, freedom and democracy have broken out in Eastern Europe."

Review: This is a low-key workplace comedy that I enjoy watching. All the characters are well played and funny, but I think Steven Webber is the best as Brian.

"You are going to an awful lot of trouble. Do you really want to date with her that badly?"
"Joe, I'm used to having women either loving me or hating me and this bizarre middle ground of adult mature friendship just makes my skin crawl."

"Fay, I have to admit. I'm a little nervous about having my fortune read."
"Oh, Lowell, relax. It's just good-natured fun. There's nothing to worry about.... OH, TORTURED SOULS OF ETERNAL DARKNESS, OPEN MY EYES THAT I MIGHT SEE... Aaah!"
"WHAT?"
"It's the card of good fortune."
"Oh God, I knew it."

"She says I have 42 parking tickets, Brian."
"Consider your self lucky, Joe. It would have been 43, but I drove off while they were writing one of them."
"Hey Sugarbuns, move it along."
"Sugarbuns? Uh, isn't that cute, Joe? She's already given you a prison nickname. One I suggest you change, by the way."

"See, this is our problem, Joe. You care more about this stupid plane than you do about me."
"ME, you are the one with the Cello between her legs eight hours a day."
"Well at least that gives me some satisfaction."
"Yeah, well at least when I'm in the plane I get some sense of movement."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Walt Disney: The Chronological Donald - Volume 1

DVD: 2 Discs


"Hey, what's the big idea!"

"So! You want to get tough, huh? You doggone contraption. I can't understand what makes it so doggone obstinate."

Review: "Modern Inventions" had me laughing so hard that I cried, but the others haven't that big of an impact on me. They just aren't as funny as Looney Toons. I still need to watch all of them though.

"Welcome, sir"
"Ah! Who are you?"
"I'm the robot butler, sir."
"Oh yeah. So what?"
"Your hat, sir."
"Hey! Let go of my hat!"
"YOUR HAT, SIR!"
"I get you for this."
"Thank you, sir."
"A fine way to act. Why don't you pick on someone your own size? You big goon."

"Waak! The very idea! Getting into my food. Scram! Hey! You doggone pest! Waak! I'll get you, you doggone pest! I'll assassinate you! I'll tear you apart, you chipmunk! Waak! Come on, you little rat. I got you! I got you! Come on! Come on! Huh! My, what big ears. Such big teeth. My goodness. And what a big mouth you have for such a little animal."

"Ha ha ha ha! Do you call that hockey? You're supposed to put this in the net."
"What do you know about hockey?"
"Who, me? Feast your eyes on this. Hockey Champion of Duck Swamp."
"Aw, phooey!"
"I see that a demonstration is in order so I'll beat the three of you all by myself."

"We'll save you, Uncle Donald! Jump, Uncle Donald!"

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: Wallace & Gromit in Three Amazing Adventures

DVD: 1 Disc


"Cracking toast, Gromit!"

Review: Excellent British comedy, these award-winning shorts are amazing to watch and full of laughs at the same time.

"It's the wrong trousers, Gromit, and they've gone wrong!"

"Yer dog's waiting."
"Aye, I'd better see to him. The bounce has gone from his bungee."

"No cheese, Gromit! Not a bit in the house!"

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: Three's Company - 3rd Season

DVD: 4 Discs


"Tell her that nothing happened. There was perfectly good reason why I was in bed with Jennie. I wandered into my bedroom through force of habit."
"Janet! There's a perfectly good reason why Jack was in bed with your sister."
"Oh Really?"
"Yeah, it was just a force of habit."

Review: Another good season. Not as many hilarious laugh-out-loud moments but every episode never fails to keep me smiling. The last two episodes are a couple of the best of the season. This is the Ropers' final season on the show.

"Wait a minute, Chrissy. You mean you would undress in front of strangers, but not in front of moi?"
"Right!"
"That doesn't make any sense."
"Of course it does. If they see me nude, it doesn't matter because I don't know them and they don't know me and I don't know who's seeing me and they don't know who they're seeing. BUT I know YOU and you know ME and I know who you'll be seeing and you know who you'll be seeing and both of them are me. See?"
"No, I don't see."
"And you're not going to either."

"I like where I live now. You know, it's beautifully furnished. It's..."
"Yeah, don't kid me. You're just thinking of Janet and Chrissy."
"As I said, it's beautifully furnished."
"Yeah, it's quite a set-up you got there."
"No, Larry, c'mon now. It's a beautiful, friendly, convenient living arrangement."
"So is a harem."

"You two have got to be gone when she gets here."
"Why?"
"Janet, weren't you listening to what I said in there? Debbie would not understand the three of us living together. She's an old fashioned girl."
"No, Jack, c'mon. The last time you went out with an old fashioned girl we had to stay at the Regal Beagle till you modernized her."

4 out of 5 Stars