Film: Charlotte's Web (2006)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


Review: I loved this book as a kid, reading it so many times that I practically knew it by heart. Normally that is a bad sign for the movie, but what is amazing about this live action adaption is how well it captures the story. I don't know what came over me, but it touched me so much that I found myself crying throughout the movie, even during the happy parts.

When I first heard about this movie, I was afraid they might have Dakota Fanning overwhelm the main focus between Wilbur and Charlotte, but she played the perfect supporting role.

Quotes:
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing, now go back to bed."
"You're not going to kill it, are you?"
"It's a runt."

"So you eat flies?"
"No... no, no. I drink their blood."

"Look at her! Don't you think she's a little... uh... what's the word? EW!"
"I think she's beautiful."

"I mean it was clear as day. T-E-R-R-I-F-I-C. I mean, can you believe a spider wrote that? I didn't learn how to spell that word until I was in the 10th grade!"

"Templeton, haven't you ever heard that good things come to those who wait?"
"No. Good things come to those who find it and shove it in their mouth!"

"No, my webs were no miracle, Wilbur. I was only describing what I saw. The miracle is you."

"Goodbye... my sweet, sweet Wilbur."
"Goodbye, Charlotte. I love you."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Get Smart (2008)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


Review: A light fun movie that plays to Steve Carell's comedic strengths and Anne Hathaway brings the competence and sex appeal of Agent 99. I always enjoyed the 60's show and this movie did a good job bringing it to the silver screen. There is a strong supporting cast so there is never a dull moment.

Quotes:
"Max has no experience, and I don't want him as my partner."
"Well, that is a sucker punch to the gonads."

"If you don't follow the rules here, then what are we?"
"I'm telling you what we're not, we're not people who jam staples into other people's heads, that's CIA crap!"

"Inside there's a pill, if captured it will cause death in nine seconds."
"Great, but how exactly do I get them to take it? ... Not much of a laugher, are you?"

"Am I wearing boxers? For future reference, I usually prefer briefs for their security and peace of mind. Going free-bird is not exactly ideal. I don't like it."

"Are you staring at my butt?"
"No, no, I... I was, but I'm not... I'm staring again."

"Did you see anything while I was dancing?"
"Just once, but I don't think you expected him to lift you so high."

"How do I know you're not Control?"
"If I were Control, you'd already be dead."
"If you were Control, you'd already be dead."
"Neither of us is dead, so I am obviously not from Control."
"That actually makes sense."

"Well, you did your job, so I suppose I can't kill your wife. Although be honest, I'd be doing the sighted world a favor."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I don't know. If you're thinking, 'Holy shit! Holy shit! A swordfish almost went through my head!' If so, then yes."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: This is a fun film about a lovable loser who saves his mall from a gang of thieves. This came out right around the same time as Seth Rogan's "Observe and Report" but it is much lighter and has less replay value than that brilliant black comedy about a more arrogant mall cop with delusions of grandeur.

Quotes:
"If you remember one thing from today, it's this: the mind is the only weapon that doesn't need a holster."

"What are you trained to do?"
"Nothing..."

"No one wins with a headbutt."

"Thank you sir, but I think I'm going to stick with what I do best. That's protecting the people of the West Orange Pavilion Mall."

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Family Guy - Volume 5 (2006-2007)

DVD: 3 Discs (No episodes on 3rd Disc)


Review: Lots of classic moments in this collection.

Quotes:
"Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!"
"WHAT!"
"Hi."

"Peter, my God, you look terrible. What happened?"
"I was raped."
"What?"
"Doctor Hartman violated me. He took my innocence."
"W-What?"
"Peter, that's a prostate exam. It's an important part of a physical for men your age."
"You sound just like him!"

"I am gonna sue that bastard and make him pay out the ass. No ifs, ands or buts. I'm gonna be real anal about this... Sphincter."

"We now return to Showgirls..."
"Yeah!"
"...on TBS."
"Aww."

"Brian, spit on me... Yes, now tell me I'm scum."
"How's that going to help cool you off?"
"Huh?"

"Life's confusing when we grow up, isn't it, Brian? Hey, can we listen to my mix tape?"
"Yeah. Go ahead."
"Brian had sex...
With a really dumb girl...
Now he's taking his friend Stewie...
To get some ice cream...
In his car..."

"I'll be more convincing than Mel Gibson when he apologized to the Jews."
"I'm really, really sorry about your big noses. I'm really sorry about how greedy you are. But most of all I'm really sorry about you dirty, underhanded, backstabbing ways. Your number one dirty Jew fan, Mel Gibson."

"Well, you wanna know what I learned this week? Being a grown-up sucks. Women, Brian, what a royal pain in the ass. It's like, it's like why can't you just hang out with guys, you know, just live with someone of your own sex, just do what you do with women, but with your buddy. You know what, why don't guys just do that?"
"They do. It's called being gay.
"Oh, is that what gay is? Oh, yeah. I could totally get into that."

"You ever just let your balls hang out, B-Ri? You ever do that, B-roni? Drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was Bri?"

"There is no Peter, there is only Zuul!"

"Oh squiggly line in my eye fluid, squiggly line that lies in the parenthesis of my eye, when I look at you, you squirm away. Are you shy, squiggly line? Only when I ignore you, you return. Its okay, squiggly line, you are forgiven."

"Hey, pass over some of that Cool wHip."
"What?"
"Well, you put Cool wHip on pie."
"It's Cool Whip."
"That's what I said, Cool wHip."
"Cool Whip."
"Cool wHip."
"Cool Whip."
"Cool wHip."
"Why are you putting so much emphasis on the H?"
"What are you talking about? I'm just saying Cool wHip."
"Say whip."
"Whip."
"Now say Cool Whip."
"Cool wHip."
"Cool Whip!"
"Cool wHip."
"Cool Whip!"
"Cool wHip."

"Why are you naked in my house?"
"Uh... why aren't you?"
"You're all right, Griffin."

"Come on, discipline me! Make me wear panties, rub dirt in my eye, violate me with a wine bottle... My God, I really do have problems, don't I?"

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Idiocracy (2006)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: An extremely funny cautionary tale about our consumerist culture and the future of human evolution. Luke Wilson is perfect as the befuddled Average Joe who is frozen and wakes up in the future to find himself to be the smartest man left alive on the planet.

Quotes:
"Why me? Every time Metsler says, 'Lead, follow, or get out of the way,' I get out of the way."
"Yeah, when he says that, you're not supposed to choose 'get out of the way.' It's supposed to embarrass you into leading - or at least following."
"That doesn't embarrass me."

"The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes that genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources were focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections."

"Unaware of what year it was, Joe wandered the streets desperate for help. But the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valleygirl, inner-city slang and various grunts. Joe was able to understand them, but when he spoke in an ordinary voice he sounded pompous and faggy to them."

"Welcome to the Healthmaster Inferno, powered by Jormi Technology."
"Next... Uh, this goes in your mouth. This one goes in your ear. And this one goes in your butt."
"Hurry up, Asshole! Come on!"
[Beeping]
"Shit. Hang on a second. This one... No, uh... this one goes in your mouth."

"Welcome to Carl's Jr. Would you like to try our EXTRA BIG ASS TACO? Now with more MOLECULES! Carl's Jr... Fuck You, I'm Eating."

"Now I understand everyone's shit's emotional right now. But I've got a 3 point plan that's going to fix EVERYTHING."
"Break it down, Camacho!"
"Number 1: We've got this guy, 'Not Sure'. Number 2: He's got a higher IQ than ANY MAN ALIVE. And Number 3: He's going to fix EVERYTHING."

"It started off boring and slow with 'Not Sure' trying to bullshit everyone with a bunch of smart talk: 'Blah blah blah. You gotta believe me!' That part of the trial sucked! But then the Chief J. just went off. He said, 'Man, whatever! The guy's guilty as shit! We all know that.' And he sentenced his ass to one night of rehabilitation."

"Today I step into the shoes of a great man, a man by the name of Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho. You know, there was a time in this country when smart people were considered cool. Well, maybe not cool, but smart people did things... like build ships and pyramids, and they even went to the moon. And there was time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn't just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose... ass... it... was... and why... it was... farting And I believe that time can come again!"

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Three Amigos (1986)

Blu-Ray


Review: A classic funny film with lines that are quotable forever.

Quotes:
"We don't have beer. Just tequila."
"What's tequila?"
"Uh, it's like beer."

"Wherever there is injustice, you will find us. Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there! Tell us we will die like dogs."
"What?"
"Tell us we will die like dogs."
"You WILL die like dogs."
"No! We will not die like dogs! We will fight like lions! Because we are... The Three Amigos!"

"I like these guys! They are funny guys! Just kill one of them."

"Wait a second. Let me see that! Come on, come on, come on. Oh great! Real Bullets! I'll keep this. You're in a lot of trouble mister!"

"It's real."
"What?"
"Uh, this is real."
"You mean..."
"Yes, they're going to kill us."

"Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you."
"So when do you think Carmen will 'open up her flower' to you?"
"Tonight, or I will kill her!"

"Carmen, tonight you are to be El Guapo's woman. I am going to give you some hints about lovemaking with El Guapo."
"I would rather die first!"
"Tell me, Carmen, do you know what foreplay is?"
"No..."
"Good! Neither does El Guapo."

"I have put many beautiful pinatas in the storeroom, each of them filled with little suprises."
"Many pinatas?"
"Oh yes, many!"
"Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?"
"A what?"
"A plethora.
"Oh yes, you have a plethora."
"Jefe, what is a plethora?"
"Why, El Guapo?"
"Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has NO IDEA what it means to have a plethora."
"Forgive me, El Guapo. I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?"

"Carlos! We fought together the priests of this mission."
"YEAH!!!"
"Pedro, we CRUSHED the Federales on the plains of Oaxaca!"
"YEAH!!!"
"And you..."
"Jose!"
"JOSE!!!!"
"Together, we..."
"Burned the village!"
"Burned the village! And, uh..."
"Raped the horses!"
"YEAH!!!"
"And we..."
"Rode off on the women!"
"Rode off on the women!"
"Yeah!!!"
"And uh..."
"We plundered!"
"YEAH!!!"
"Plundered! And uh..."
"Pruned!"
"...pruned the, uh..."
"The hedges."
"...hedges..."
"of many small villages!"
"Of many small villages... WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!!"

"In a way, all of us has an 'El Guapo' to face someday. For some, shyness might be their 'El Guapo'. For others, a lack of education might be their 'El Guapo'. For us, 'El Guapo' is a big, dangerous guy who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santo Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo who also happens to be the actual El Guapo."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: While not as magical as The Royal Tenenbaums, Wes Anderson's next film grows on repeat viewings. Bill Murray is on fine form as Steve Zissou, a broke oceanographer/documentarian who is trying to finance his next voyage to track down the elusive Jaguar shark that killed his best friend, Esteban. Beside the eclectic crew of his research vessel, Zissou is joined on his quest by a man who thinks he is his son and a pregnant reporter.

Quotes:
"That's an endangered species at most. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?"
"Revenge."

"Supposedly Cousteau and his cronies invented the idea of putting walkie-talkies into the helmet. But we made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music."

"You must swear, legally swear, that you will not kill that shark, or whatever it is, if it actually exists."
"I'm going to fight it, but I'll let it live."

"Steve, one of the interns just fell down the stairs with the main tracking processor."
"All right, just make sure we steal the backup."

"Do you know that you just charted us on a course through unprotected waters?"
"Yeah, we're taking the shortcut."
"But it's outside I.M.U. jurisdiction. There isn't any protection."
"I know, honey. Look at the map. We go your way, that's about four inches. We go my way, it's an inch and a half. You wanna pay for the extra gas?"

"I'm going to have to start locking my effing door."
"It was locked, I kicked it in. Why don't you just curse like other people?"
"Because I'm trying to get out of the habit before I have my fucking baby!"

"Stevesy, what's going on? Are those hijackers?"
"Well, out here we call them 'pirates', Ned."

"You know I'm not big on apologizing. So I'll just skip it if it's all the same to you."
"Okay."
"Anyway, I'm sorry."

"We've never made great husbands, have we? Of course, I have a good excuse. I'm part gay."

"I think it's criminal that Steve allowed this to happen, by which I mean illegal. We're being led on an illegal suicide mission by a selfish maniac."
"I hear what you're saying, but I think you misjudge the guy."

"We're in the middle of a lightning-strike rescue-op, Klaus. What's the deal?"
"I'm sick of being on 'B' Squad."
"You might be on 'B' Squad, But you're the 'B' Squad leader."

"Oh, shit! Swamp leeches. Everybody, check for swamp leeches, and pull them off... Nobody else got hit? I'm the only one? What's the deal?"

"Are we, are we safe in here?"
"I doubt it."

"I wanted to give you a heads-up on what I thought of the piece..."
"You read it. What did you think?"
"Well, I was a little upset at first. I mean, obviously people are going to think I'm a showboat, and a little bit of a prick. But then I thought... that's me. I said those things, I did those things. I can live with that. You're a good writer, Jane."
"It's the effing cover."
"Thatta girl."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: The Night We Never Met (1993)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: Not as good as I remembered it, but still entertaining. This film is about an engaged Wall Street trader who decides to hold onto his bachelor pad as a place to party with his friends a couple nights a week and rent the place out for the remaining nights. The other two tenants are Annabella Sciorra, a married painter, and Matthew Broderick, an aspiring cook, who rent it on alternate nights as a place to escape their regular lives. The plot follows the three separate stories of the roommates who never meet until they cross paths at the end.

Quotes:
"Sam, Mr. McVeigh would like to offer you this place, two days a week, $92 dollars a month."
"Sold!"
"You mean you don't mind that it's just two days a week?"
"Oh, no. Actually, it's all I can afford right now. I am already renting a place... with roommates. Lots and lots of roommates."
"Oh, well then I'm sure you will enjoy some privacy two nights a week."

"Can you like hold me or something?"
"I thought we were done... You know, uh, you're really a great fuck."
"I can't believe you just said that."
"But it's true."

"It wasn't my idea. Her folks got us season tickets, every Wednesday."
"Aren't you here Wednesdays?"
"No. That's why I had to switch my nights with, uh..."
"Sam?"
"Yeah."
"Oh... Oh... Oh my God!"
"What?"
"Oh my God?"
"What?"
"I slept with the wrong guy. Oh my God. The one time in my life I cheat and I screw it up and sleep with the wrong guy. How could you?!! How could you sleep with me?!"
"You slept with me."
"Yeah, that's because I though you were someone else!"
"Boy, what a way to make a guy feel wanted."

"Oh Inga! Inga, you waited."
"You are welcome to me."
"Thank you God!"

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Terminator Salvation (2009)

Blu-Ray


Review: This is the first Terminator film that takes place after Skynet takes over the world. I enjoyed the reverse concept of an executed criminal, experimented on by Cyberdyne Systems, waking up after Judgement Day and having to survive in the apocalyptic landscape. Taking place just before the T-800 Terminator is developed, the film cleverly explains away the absence of Schwarzenegger who only has to appear in a short CGI cameo at the end.

Quotes:
"That was a Hunter-Killer. Thanks to you, they know we're here."
"What's your name, kid?"
"Kyle Reese."

"Where is everybody?"
"They're gone."
"So why are you still here?"
"Because we're the Resistance, L.A. Branch. Welcome to the headquarters."
"Resisting what?"
"Machines. Skynet."
"Just the two of you?"
"Yeah."

"That thing, where'd it go?"
The transport? Skynet. Where the hell are you going?"
"After it."
"I hate to break it to you, but if you've got friends on that thing, they're as good as dead. And same for you, if you keep walking that direction."
"Yeah, I've been dead awhile and I'm getting used to it."

"Let me down."
"If I let you down, you'll kill everyone in this room."
"Just you, Connor. Because I don't give a shit about you. I didn't even know your name until two days ago."
"No. You and me... we've been at war since before either of us even existed. You tried killing my mother, Sarah Connor. You killed my father, Kyle Reese. You will not kill me."
"Kyle Reese is on a transporter heading for Skynet. If I wanted to kill him, I would have done it in L.A."

"That thing in there... I thought I knew our enemy. But that thing, that makes me feel like I know nothing. I looked into it's eye, and it believes, absolutely believes that it is human. It believes everything that it says."

"I can get you in."
"How?"
"Look at me."
"That's why I don't trust you."
"I'm the only hope you have. I need to find out who did this to me. So do you. Make your choice."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: The Station Agent (2003)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: I saw this movie for the first time at the La Paloma Theater. Since I could hear the train go by several times during the running time, it really added to the experience of this great movie about a train-obsessed man who inherits a railway-depot in a small town. Fin, played by Peter Dinklage, is a quiet loner who just wants to be left alone, but since he is a dwarf he is always attracting unwanted attention from those around him. Bobby Carnavale is amazing as Joe, the talkative New Yorker, who runs a small food truck parked on Fin's property. Through sheer force of will, Joe slowly wears down Fin's defenses and becomes his friend.

Quotes:
"It's funny how people see me and treat me, since I'm really just a simple, boring person."

"Hey listen, if you guys do something later, can I join you?"
"We're not gonna do something."
"No, I know, but if you do, can I join you?"
"We're not gonna do something later."
"Okay, but, if you do?"
"Okay."
"Cool."

"You said you weren't going to talk to me if I sat here, Joe."
"I haven't said anything in like twenty minutes."
"Nine."
"You timed me?"
"Mm-hmm."
"That's cold, bro."

"Do they have clubs for you people?"
"What?"
"You know, for train watchers."

"Hey, Olivia, you got a garlic press?!"
"No."
"How can you not have a garlic press?"
"Still no!"
"Alright, you keep talking! I'm gonna go cook without the garlic press!"
"I'm not used to having people in my house... especially loud people."
"It's a nice house."
"Yeah. David bought it as a get-away place... so I moved down here and got away."
"Where did you used to live?"
"Princeton... I know... I didn't get very far. But I just couldn't stay there another minute. Everyone looking at me... the poor woman whose son died... How about you? What made you pick Newfoundland?"
"I wanted to live near Joe."
"Guys! Would you come up here and talk? Seriously, this sucks!"

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Frantic (1988)

Blu-Ray


Review: One of my favorite thrillers and one of Harrison Ford's best acting roles alongside 'The Mosquito Coast'. The film's title perfectly captures the emotional state of Harrison's character when his wife goes missing from their Paris hotel. Roman Polanski does a masterful job of building tension and slowly revealing details as Harrison struggles to locate his wife with only a few clues in a foreign city.

Quotes:
"Eyes?"
"Blue, both of them."
"Blue. Face?"
"Oval. Look..."
"I know this must seem like annoying bureaucracy, but really, we have to get one of these to the prefecture police when we deal with a missing person."
"I've already been to the police. I filled out of one of the forms. And it's not a missing person. It's a kidnapping!"
"Don't you think that's a bit premature to be so positive?"
"No, I don't think. I have witnesses. My wife was kidnapped. Do you understand what I am saying to you?"
"Yes. Yes, of course. But what would you like us to do exactly?"
"I want you to find my wife."
"Well, you understand, Dr. Walker, ours is basically a liaison function. We can assist you in communicating with the French police. We can put a little pressure on the Ministry of Interior. But this is their country. It's their jurisdiction. We can't just send a posse out after her."

"Shut the door. I want you to tell me what this says."
"It's me. It's Michelle. I'm back. I've made a good trip. I'll see you tonight at the Blue Parrot. Don't forget my money. I kiss you."
-------
"It's her again. She's angry now. She'll wait at the Parrot until it closes, then she'll go to his place."
"What time do the nightclubs close?"
"Four or six, it depends."

"I don't care about the suitcase. I'm looking for her!"
"Who?"
"My wife, god damn it! You put my wife's suitcase in the locker and it didn't have what they wanted in it. But it had my wife's name tag, our telephone number. They came to the hotel and took her."
"Your wife?"
"They kidnapped her!"
"But they want my suitcase. Why did they take your wife?"
"When I find them, I'll ask them."

"Merde, what did you do that for?"
"Put your hands on the wheel!"
"That's good coke! That was 500 francs, at least."
"Keep your eyes on the road and get us where we're going. Jesus Christ!"

"I take only half."
"Why?"
"Instead of the other half, you keep me with you."
"Why?"
"I'm trusting you with my suitcase. I stay with you until you give it to them. I don't want to end up like Dede."
"You better get out of here."
"No, I won't go... Please?"
"I'll come to your apartment as soon as I get this straightened out."
"Promise?"
"Yes, I promise. Now scoot."

"Right, I want you to take this and go behind that truck and don't come out until I tell you."
"Okay, I'm scared. Are you?"
"I'm scared shitless. Go on."
"Merde... In French, it's good luck to say, 'Merde'... You're not supposed to answer."

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: Family Guy - Volume 4 (2005-2006)

DVD: 3 Discs


Review: Another great season! So many classic scenes!

Quotes:
"You like eating red carpet, tough guy?"
"Yes!"
"Say you like eating red carpet!"
"I like eating red carpet."
"Giggity."

"I cook like Betty Crocker... and I look like Donna Reed...
There's plastic on the furniture... to keep it nice and clean...
In the Pine Sol scented air, somewhere that's green...
Between our frozen dinners... and our bedtime, nine fifteen...
we snuggle watching Lucy... on our big, enormous, twelve inch screen...
Oh, his December Bride, Chris Griffin, he knows best...
The kids play Howdy Doody... as the sun sets in the West...
A picture out of Better Home and Gardens Magazine...
Someday I know...
we too will go.............
somewhere that's greeeeeeeeeen."
"Are you dead?"

"Oh, no. I didn't catch the ball in the cup. Oh, wait a minute. It's okay because the ball is on a string and attached to the cup."

"All right, listen up, everybody. I have something to tell you. I'm not quite sure how to say this... I'm fat. Let me give you a minute to absorb that. That's the way it is. It's nobody's fault... MEG!"

"And now back to Jaws V: Fire Island."
"You think we should be this far out?"
"Stop worrying, Mark. We'll be fine."
"Hey, I'm gonna eat you all. I'm gonna eat that hairy leg. I'm gonna eat that one too. Oh, I can see right up them shorts. I got a whole bunch of rows of teeth to chew you with. Dunna, dunna, dunna. Oh, wait a minute. I did have a chubby kid on a raft earlier today. It's okay, though. I've been swimming a lot lately. Mm, yummy. Mmmmm."

"I'll talk to him, Lois, but you know when my father wants something, it's like sex with Kobe Bryant. You can kick and scream all you want, but it's... it's gonna happen."

"Jesus was a miracle worker, of sorts. Um, he would travel from place to place, putting things right that once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap would be the leap home."
"What do you think you're doing with my wife?"
"Oh, boy!"

"Hey, how's it going?"
"Good."
"Ah, those are huge. Those are huge boobs. And you know what's nice? That you don't have that blue vein up there that some of the bigger ones get... What?! I said you don't have that!"

"All right, Peter. You made it to the bonus round. Congratulations."
"Thanks, Regis."
"Okay, the category is 'Actor and Show'. So we need five consonants and a vowel."
"Uh, okay, Um... Z, 4, Q... another Q. Uh... a third Q. And the Batman symbol."
"Okay, no help there. Fifteen seconds. If you want to take a shot at it, talk it out."
"Is it Alex Karras in Webster?"
"I don't' believe it."
"Oh, my God! I just took a shot in the dark! Holy crap!"

"Hey. Hey, Brian. He's knocking on the back door. What should I do?"
"What?"
"He's knocking on the back door. Should I let him in? I'm scared!"
"Well, you two are busy being nude. So, we'll just head out and... let you be nude."
"Who were those two guys?"
"I don't know."

"Listen, Me. Pewterschmidt. You're a business man. I'm a business man and I've got a proposal that I guarantee you can't refuse. See, I wrote this erotica book and I was hoping for seven billion to publish it."
"How about I loan you five dollars? It's at the bottom of this jar of barbed wire and salt."
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Why do you keep these two things together?"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Adventures of Young Indiana Jones - Volume 2 - The War Years (1992-1995)

DVD: 8 Discs


Review: Based off the childhood opening in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusades", this TV series, shot on 16mm all over the world, was a great combination of Indiana Jones adventure and intelligent history lessons. I wasn't a fan of the early episodes where Indy was 10 years, but I really like the ones in this set where he is in his late teens during World War I.

Quotes:
"French artillery. Very impressive."
"As good as the Germans."

"Let me be brief. You can not tunnel, the castle's built upon granite. If you try to disguise yourself as a German soldier, you will be shot as a spy. If you attempt to bribe my men, you will be shot as a corrupting influence on German morale. I don't want any trouble from you."

"I was raised a Catholic, I should say something."
"Get it over with."
"Dear God, let this man go to hell."

"I've fooled a lot of people with my French."
"No doubt you have. It is excellent."
"How did you know I was American?"
"My father is a professor of philosophy. During my youth, I met many American scholars. All spoke French fluently, but none perfectly. I recognized your game at once."

"What kind of toilet paper is this?"
"Real toilet paper is about as rare as snowballs in Kalgoorlie. They use whatever comes to hand. Documents, memos, invoices. Once delivered they go straight to the outhouse. It's a tremendous boon for our intelligence purposes."

"She answers all our questions with a tense invitation to go to hell. Infuriating woman."
"She's stubborn, like her mother. Once, on a hunting expedition, just to prove she was braver than the men, she crept up behind a grazing rhinoceros and wrote 'mpumbava' on it."
"She wrote 'idiot' in Swahili on a rhino's butt?"
"In chalk."
"Got to admire that in a young lady."
"Yeah."
"I suppose she'll have to eat."
"I... I'll take it."
"What a fellow. Always ready to sacrifice for his comrades."

"Ashari soldiers saw you struck down by a bad German bullet, Indy. Saw you die, then come back to life. You cough a bullet, spit on ground with much contempt, lead Ashari to victory. Very big magic."
"No, no, no, Barthelemy. The men have it all wrong. It's... it's not magic. I'm just lucky. The bullet struck my locket. See?"
"That is very small target. So your juju very powerful. Little god, he who cannot die!"
"Two promotions in one day. First captain, now god. You amaze me. Ha, Ha!"

"Are you a pilot?"
"No, a photographer?"
"Flying's insane, let alone in wartime with a gang of rowdy American cowboys. I'll take the trench, thank you."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Kick-Ass (2010)

Blu-Ray


Review: There have been a few films in the past about normal guys attempting to be superheros, but none of them have been great until this one. The secret ingredient for this film is obviously Hit Girl, the foul-mouthed 11-year-old trained to a killing machine by her ex-cop father. This is almost two films in one, Kick-Ass' weak attempts to be a vigilante hero and Big Daddy/Hit Girl's more effective vendetta against the crime boss who framed the father. They blend together perfectly and Christopher Mintz-Plasse steals his scenes as Red Mist.

Quotes:
"Okay you cunts... Let's see what you can do now!"

"I'll be honest, there wasn't a whole lot of crime-fighting in those first few weeks. But even so, my new vocation kept me plenty busy. I called it preparation. But if you called it fantasizing, it would've been hard to argue. All I knew was, I never felt so good about myself."

"The fuck is wrong with you, man? You'd rather die for some piece of shit that you don't even fucking know?"
"The three assholes, laying into one guy while everybody else watches? And you wanna know what's wrong with me? Yeah, I'd rather die... so bring it on!"

"How do I get a hold of you?"
"You just contact the mayor's office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky; it's in the shape of a giant cock."

"Dave? What the fuck are you doing? Why are you dressed as Kick-Ass?"
"Because I am Kick-Ass!"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm also not gay!"
"Fuck!"

"Good job. I'm so proud of you, baby doll. Are you okay?"
"Mhmm... but getting shot, Daddy... it hurt a lot more than when you did it."
"That's because I used low velocity rounds, child..."
"You're the kindest Daddy in the whole world."

"Whoa! It's only me boss. Everything's under control."
"Under control? You're grabbing a fucking bazooka, you dumb ass!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Love and Death on Long Island (1998)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


Review: A funny film with John Hurt as an English literary writer who has lived a sequestered life away from modern technology and pop culture until his wife passes away. One afternoon, after being locked out his house, he takes shelter from the rain in a nearby movie house where he mistakenly enters the wrong theater showing Hotpants College II and becomes enraptured by one of the young male actors. Most of the humor comes from this distinguished elderly gentleman pursuing his new obsession; memorizing details about the actor's life from glossy teen mags, renting videos of his trashy movies and eventually traveling to America to track him down.

Quotes:
"Hotpants College II is a puerile romp without a single redeeming feature."

"The sign says, No Smoking."
"No, the sign says, Thank You for Not Smoking. As I am smoking, I don't expect to be thanked."

"Can I help you?"
"Uh... yeah. One for number three, please."
"Come again?"
"One adult for number three."
"What do you want to see, sir?"
"The film in number three."
"Which?"
"Uh... Hotpants College II."
"Thank you."

"I have, as usual, said you are far too busy. But it is a very prestigious lecture, Giles."
"Would you advise me against it?"
"As your agent, I would strongly urge you to do it. But as a friend, I wouldn't want to disturb your work, which seems to be so invigorating, Giles."
"I'll think about it."
"Really?!"
"I'm getting rather tired of hearing myself say no. Now you can help me, Henry. What exactly is a sitcom?""

"Two pieces of identification, one proof of address. I believe that qualifies me for membership."
"There's a 10 pound deposit, so you don't nick nothing. But you get a 2 pound voucher for a Bernie's Pizza Delivery. You can take out two tapes now, if you want."
"Um, could I forfeit my Bernie's Pizza voucher for a third one?"

"Very impressive. You're both very talented, my dear."
"Thanks."
"Well, you must give Ronnie tips, no doubt."
"Tips?"
"Well, doesn't he have to do photographs for the fan magazines?"
"Photo shoots, tell me about it. He hates them."
"Well, he seems rather good at it."

"Dear God, this is ridiculous."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Starman (1984)

Blu-Ray


Review: John Carpenter has made several great films about aliens, but this is probably his most mainstream and it is very effective. Jeff Bridges received a well-deserved Oscar nomination for his portrayal of a visiting alien assuming the form of a widow's dead husband after his craft is shot down over Wisconsin. Karen Allen plays the woman struggling to cope as she is taken on a cross-country trip by the alien trying to reach his rendezvous point while the government attempts to track them down. It combines two of my favorite movie genres, fish-out-of-water stories and road trips. (I really like the Starman theme music and the picture quality on this Blu-Ray is great.)

Quotes:
"So they're sending you guys on meteorites now?"
"Uh, only when they change course."
"Change course? Can they do that?"
"This one did. So they tell me. Twice. Either that or some airhead over at NORAD misread a glitch on his monitor. It also came down slower than suborbital speed. So, naturally, they decided to fire some missiles at it."

"You are really some kind of Martian or something, aren't you? What do you want here? What are you doing? What do you want with me? Where are you taking me? Why do you look so much like Scott?"
"I can't get no... satisfaction!"
"That does it!"

"What the hell is that?"
"Well, it's sort of an invitation, Major. You remember that package we sent up with the Voyager probe? There was a gold anodized disk with greetings from Earth in 54 different languages. Complete with a nice speech from Kurt Waldheim, 'To whom it may concern. Come and see us some time.'"

"Shit."
"Don't mind him. He's just learning to speak English."
"Well, he got a hell of a start on it."

"Are you crazy? You almost got us killed! You said you watched me. You said you knew the rules!"
"I do know the rules."
"Well, for you information, pal, that was a yellow light back there."
"I watched you very carefully. Red light, stop. Green light, go. Yellow light, go very fast."

"What's it like up there?"
"It is beautiful. Not like this, but beautiful. There is only one language. One law. One people. And there is no war, no hunger and the strong do not victimize the helpless. We are very civilized... but we have lost something. I think you are all so much alive. All so different. I will miss the cooks and the singing and the dancing. And the eating... And the other things."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Some Like It Hot (1959)

Blu-Ray


Review: A classic comedy starring Tony Curtis and Hollywood legends, Jack Lemmon and Marilyn Monroe. Two broke musicians who need to flee Chicago after witnessing a mob massacre, dress up as women in order to hitch a ride with an all-girl band leaving for Florida. When they both fall for the band's singer, Sugar, they end up maintaining their disguise longer than they expected.

Quotes:
"What kind of band is it anyway?"
"You gotta be under 25."
"We could pass for that."
"Gotta be blond?"
"We could dye our hair."
"And you gotta be girls."
"We could..."
"No, we couldn't."

"Look at that. Look how she moves. That's just like Jello with springs. They must have some sort of built-in motor or something. I tell ya, it's a whole different sex."
"What are you afraid of? Nobody's asking you to have a baby."

"There are two things I will not put up with during working hours. One is liquor and the other one is men."
"Men? Oh, you don't have to worry about that."
"We wouldn't be caught dead with men. Rough, hairy beasts with eight hands."

"I can't trust myself. I have this thing about saxophone players. Especially tenor sax."
"Really?"
"I don't know why, but they just curdle me. All they have to do is play eight bars of 'Come to Me, My Melancholy Baby' and my spine turns to custard. I get goose-pimply all over, and I come to 'em."
"That so?"
"Every time."
"You know, I play tenor sax."
"But you're a girl... thank goodness."

"Pull in your reel, Mr. Fielding, your barking up the wrong fish."
"If I promise not to be a naughty boy, how about dinner tonight?"
"I'm sorry. I'll be on the bandstand."
"Oh, of course. Which instrument do you play?"
"Bull fiddle."
"Oh, fascinating. Do you use a bow, or do you just pluck it?"
"Most of the time, I slap it."
"You must be quite a girl."
"Wanna bet?"

"Have I got things to tell you."
"What happened?"
"I'm engaged."
"Congratulations! Who's the lucky girl?"
"I am."

"Look at all that silverware."
"Uh, trophies, you know... skeet shooting, dog breeding, water polo..."
"Water polo? Isn't that terribly dangerous?"
"I'll say. I had two ponies drown under me."

"Osgood, I gonna level with you. We can't get married at all."
"Why not?"
"Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde."
"Doesn't matter."
"Well, I have a terrible past. For three years, I've been living with a saxophone player."
"I forgive you."
"I can never have children."
"We can adopt some."
"You don't understand Osgood... Aw, I'm a man."
"Well, nobody's perfect."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

Blu-ray


Review: This is a great piece of work and you can tell that it is a made by a master of a director, Peter Weir. I have always liked movies based on the British sailing navy, but have always wanted to see one made with today's technology. The sailing battles are amazing and Russell Crowe was made for this type of role. I think that this is one of the best movie of 2003.

Favorite Scene: The naval battle in the fog.

Quotes:
"Damn, he was good. Just came out of nowhere. Hit us with a full broadside and cut across our tail and took out our rudder. Damn fine gunnery. We only slipped away because of the fog. Quite fortunate, really. He may have had the weather gauge, but we had the weather gods."

"The Surprise is not old. No one would call her old. She has a bluff bow, lovely lines. She's a fine seabird: weatherly, stiff and fast... very fast, if she's well handled. No, she's not old. She's in her prime."

"Well done, Gentleman. To wives and to sweethearts."
"To wives and sweethearts!"
"May they never meet."

"What is it with this man? Did I kill a relative of his in battle, perhaps? His boy, God forbid?"
"He fights like you, Jack."

"Timing?"
"Two minutes and one second, sir."
"Lads, that's not good enough. We need to fire two broadsides to her one. You wanna see a guillotine in Picadilly?"
"NO!"
"Do you want to call that raggedy-ass Napoleon your king?"
"NO!"
"You want your children to sing 'La Marseillaise'?"
"NO!"
"Mr. Mowett, Mr. Pullings, starboard battery! Jump to it, lads. Cadence and rhythm."

"We shall head home before peace breaks out with France, God forbid."
"Jack, I fear you may have burdened me with a debt I can never fully repay."
"Tosh. Name a shrub after me. Something prickly and hard to eradicate."
"A shrub? Nonsense. I'll name a great tortoise after you. Testudo Aubreii."

"England is under threat of invasion. And though we be on the far side of the world, this ship is our home. This ship IS England."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Watchmen (2009)

Blu-ray


Review: This film takes place in 1985 on the eve of nuclear war as a masked vigilante, Rorschach, investigates the death of The Comedian, a former teammate from the disbanded Watchmen crime-fighting group. The opening credits sequence of moving photographs beautifully sets up the back-story of the Watchmen & the alternate history of the USA populated by superheros and villains. This film improved for me upon a second viewing. While I appreciated the craft and the storytelling the first time, I had missed a lot of the details because I had never read the original comic.

Quotes:
"Is this bean juice?"
"Human bean juice. Badge belonged to The Comedian. Blood too. He's dead."

"Meeting with Dreiberg left bad taste in mouth. A flabby failure who sits whimpering in his basement. Why are so few of us left active, healthy and without personality disorders? The first Nite Owl runs an auto-repair shop. The first Silk Spectre is a bloated, aging whore dying in a California rest resort. Dollar Bill got his cape stuck in a revolving door where he got gunned down. Silhouette, murdered, a victim of her own indecent lifestyle. Mothman's in an asylum in Maine. Even Adrian Veidt, possible homosexual. Must investigate further."

"Do you remember that crazy guy? What did he call himself... Captain Carnage. The one who used to pretend he was a supervillain just so he could get beaten up all the time?"
"Yeah, he tried that on me once. I just walked away. He starts following me down the street in broad daylight, yelling 'Punish me! Punish me!' I'm just saying 'No! Get lost.'"
"God. Whatever happened to him?"
"Well, he pulled that on Rorschach, and Rorschach dropped him down an elevator shaft."

"It's a joke. It's all a fucking joke. You know, I thought I knew how it was. I thought I knew how the world was. I've done some bad things. I did bad things to women. I shot kids. In 'Nam, you know. But that was fucking WAR! This... I never done anything like this. God, here I am... spilling my guts to one of my archenemies. But the truth is, you're the closest thing to a friend I got. What the fuck does that say? Shit!"

"Maybe we should get a cab. These are bad neighborhoods."
"Yeah, well, I'm in a bad mood."

"None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with ME!"

"Dan? Is everything alright?"
"God I'm tired of being afraid, afraid of war, afraid of the mask-killer... and afraid of this goddamn suit, and how much I need it."
"Me too. So to hell with it; let's take Archi out."
"You're serious."
"I used to be a masked avenger too, you know; I'm used to getting up at 3 in the morning and doing something stupid."

"John, please. You have to stop this. Everyone will die!"
"And the universe will not even notice. In my opinion, the existence of life is a highly overrated phenomenon. Just look around you. Mars gets along perfectly well without so much as a microorganism."

"So in order to save this planet... I had to trick it with the the greatest practical joke in human history."
"Killing millions!"
"To save billions. A necessary crime."
"You know we can't let you do that."
"'Do that', Rorschach? I'm not a comic book villain. Do you seriously think I'd explain my masterstroke to you if there was even the slightest possibility you could effect the outcome. I triggered it 35 minutes ago."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Superman (1978)

Blu-Ray


Review: Superman's first long introduction sequence (set to John Williams' score) that starts with him saving Lois from the crashed helicopter and ends with him rescuing a cat in a tree is perfect cinema magic. Christopher Reeve was born to play Superman/Clark Kent and there is an earnestness to his acting style that allows me to suspend disbelief when he is tunneling under the earth to stop an earthquake or reversing the rotation of the Earth to go back in time. Except for some slow parts in the beginning setting up the story, this is an amazing film.

Quotes:
"If he remains here with us, he will die surely as we will."
"But why Earth, Jar-El? They're primitives thousands of years behind us."
"He will need that advantage to survive. Their atmosphere will sustain him."
"He will defy their gravity."
"He will look like one of them."
"He won't be one of them."
"No. His dense molecular structure will make him strong."
"He'll be odd. Different."
"He'll be fast. Virtually invulnerable."
"Isolated... alone."
"He will not be alone. He will never be alone."

"What are you writing, Miss Lane?"
"An Ode to Spring. How do you spell massacre?"
"Uh. M-A-S-S-A-C-R-E."
"Thank you."
"Golly, Miss Lane, how come you got all the great stories?"
"A good reporter doesn't get great stories, Jimmy. A good reporter makes them great."

"Look Lois, Clark Kent may seem like just a mild-mannered reporter, but listen... not only does he know how to treat his editor-in-chief with the proper respect... not only does he have a snappy, punchy prose style... but he is in my 40 years in this business, the fastest typist I've ever seen."

"Easy, miss. I got you."
"You... you've got me? Who's got you?"
"Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss? Statistically speaking, of course, it's still the safest way to travel."
"Right... Wait! Who are you?"
"A friend. Bye."

"Why are you here? There must be a reason for you to be here."
"Yes, I'm here to fight for truth and justice and the American Way."
"Ha! You're gonna end up fighting every elected official in this country."

"It's open. Come in. My attorney will be in touch with you about the damage to the door. Otis, take the gentleman's cape."
"I don't think he wants me to, Mr. Luthor."

"Now call me foolish, call me irresponsible... it occurs to me that a 500-megaton bomb planted at just the proper point would, uh..."
"Would destroy most of California. Millions of innocent people would die. The West Coast as we know it would..."
"Fall into the sea. Bye, bye California. Hello, new West Cost. My West Coast. Costa del Lex, Lutherville, Marina del Lex, Otisburg... Otisburg?"
"It's just a little-bitty place."
"Otisburg?!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Shrek (2001)

Blu-ray


Review: A fun fairy tale that plays off and skewers the established Disney tropes we all know and love. Mike Myers is great as the unlikely hero, Shrek, a grumpy ogre who agrees to rescue a princess for the villainous Lord Farquaad in order to win back control of his swamp. What pushes the movie into greatness is Eddie Murphy's voice work as Donkey, the jabber-mouthed animal who latches onto Shrek as his unwelcome sidekick after the ogre saves him.

Quotes:
"Next. What have you got?"
"This little wooden puppet."
"I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy!"
"Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away."
"Father, please! Don't let them do this!"

"I guess you don't entertain much, do you?"
"I like my privacy."
"Y'know, me too. That's another thing we have in common. Like, I hate it when you've got somebody in your face. You're trying to give them a hint and they won't leave. Then there's that big awkward silence............................ Can I stay with you?"

"We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!"

"You! You're coming with me."
"All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends off on a whirlwind, big-city adventure. I love it! On the road again... Sing it with me, Shrek!"
"What did I say about singing?"
"Well, can I whistle?"
"No."
"Can I hum it?"
"All right, hum it."

"The champion shall have the honour, no, no, the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon! If for any reason, the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place, and so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. Let the tournament begin!"

"Phew! Shrek! Did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open and everything!"
"Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead! It's brimstone... we must be getting close."
"Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelled, it wasn't no brimstone and it didn't come off no stone neither..."

"So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?"
"Inside, waiting for us to rescue her."
"I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek."

"All right, I hope you heard that. She called me a 'noble steed'. She thinks I'm a steed."

"I just know before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'."

"Say, Shrek, what're we gonna do with our swamp?"
"We? Donkey, there's no WE. There's no OUR. There's just ME and MY swamp! The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land."
"You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Aspen Extreme (1993)

Blu-Ray


Review: This movie is a surprisingly effective drama about two close friends who move to Aspen to become ski instructors. T.J. has the looks and everything seems to come easy for him, but he struggles to find a deeper purpose in his life. His friend Dexter, trying to keep up with T.J.'s success, falls into drinking and drugs which causes a rift between them. There is a lot of great skiing footage and views of the surrounding mountains and valleys.

SPOILER: I have one huge nitpick with this movie. They should not have tied the extreme skiing portion of the movie to the Powder 8 competition that T.J. and Dexter want to win. The Powder 8 is a precision team event where two competitors ski back and forth in tandem to create perfect figure-eights on a wide and evenly sloped course, but the script always has them extreme skiing off-piste as their only training method. It's the equivalent of playing hockey to train for a figure skating event.

The plot hole is compounded by T.J. winning the competition by skiing off-course with his partner, essentially cheating as they impress the crowd with extreme skiing and jump tricks that have nothing to do with the actual skills the event is judged on. If this had been a slap-stick ski comedy, I might have bought this craziness but it clashes with the real and dramatic tone of the rest of the movie.

Quotes:
"Where are you guys from?"
"Detroit."
"Out here to see if you can be ski instructors, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Ah, about a hundred of you guys show up every year for that. The locals call that the freshman class. You read about movie stars in ski magazines and you want to move here."
"Yeah, I mean, that's all part of it, right?"
"Hope you guys are good."

"I think you're making a real mistake in not hiring, Dexter, I mean he'd make a great ski instructor."
"How would you know? You have only been a ski instructor for 15 minutes."
"Well, I just know. He's a great guy."
"Our clients pay $400 a day for private lessons. For that they expect ski instructors to be a certain type and look... like you. Part of the job is fulfilling a fantasy and you are the fantasy. I'm afraid your friend is not. You ski very well."
"So does he."
"Skiing is the easy part."

"You can come pick T.J. up in the morning. He can stay the night here."
"Wait, how about I stay the night and T.J. comes and picks ME up in the morning, huh?"
"How about not."
"He might have a concussion, guys?"
"You got a lot of luck, T.J."
"I know."

"This isn't your swing."
"Nobody was using it."

"I'm gonna go home to Detroit. Put my name on the list of Ford, maybe get your old job. I just don't want to go back empty-handed. I would like to ask you a favor... Well, I want to win the Powder 8 and I want you to be my partner. I want you to ski with me."

"I just came by to tell you I'm very sorry, T.J. I know you loved him a lot... Things happen, T.J., to everyone."
"It didn't happen to me."
"Yeah, it did."
"You know, I was afraid to come out here without him."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: The Wrestler (2008)

Blu-Ray


Review: An amazing character study that gave me a whole new respect for wrestling and Mickey Rourke. Randy "The Ram" is an aging broken-down wrestler still holding onto his glory days from the 1980s as he continues to fight in the ring twenty years later. Marisa Tomei is excellent as an older stripper that he forms a bond with and who is entering the twilight of her career as well. The intense scene of Randy getting patched up in the locker room after his brutal match with the Necro Butcher is a graphic display of the mental and physical toll of his profession after the adrenaline high from the crowd has dissipated.

Quotes:
"As for as tonight, I don't know what you wanna do. I had a few ideas. I was thinking, you know, maybe just for the heat, I would give you a low blow, follow it up with a bulldog."
"Just bring the cheap heat, bro."
--------
"Maybe make your comeback right off there."
"Bang off the ropes, then super kick and, uh, Ram Jam, and then we go have a beer, okay?"
"That sounds great, man."
"You hang in there. You got a lot of ability."
"All right."
"Okay?"
"Thank you."
"Bless you."

"Oh, Jesus. You're bleeding. Oh!"
"Yeah, I got cut tonight."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, it's nothing."
"They say wrestling's fake."
"Look at this. 1986, Denver Coliseum, Billy Bob Banjo hit me with a two-by-four. It had a loose nail in it, split my bicep right in the hell open. Look at that. I got a better one than that. Take a look at this here. 1988, okay? Orlando Civic Center. Mr. Magnificent threw me over the top ropes. I landed on my shoulder and cracked my clavicle right in half."
"Oh, my God. Does it hurt?"
"Well, it hurts when I breath, but, I mean, you know, you hear the roar of the crowd, you just motor through, you know?"

"Yeah! Goddamn, they don't make 'em like they used to."
"Fuckin' '80s, man. Best shit ever."
"Bet your ass, man. Gun N' Roses fuckin' rules."
"Crüe, Def Lep."
"Then that Cobain pussy had to come around and ruin it all, you know."
"Like there's something wrong with wanting to have a good time."
"I tell you something. I hated the fuckin' '90s."
"Nineties fuckin' sucked."

"I use to try and forget about you. I used to try to pretend that... you did not exist. But I can't. You're my girl. You're my little... You're my little girl. And now... I'm an old, broken-down piece of meat. And I'm alone. And I deserve to be all alone... I just don't want you to hate me... Okay?"

"I'm doing my thing. I'm going to work."
"Yeah, but... but your heart."
"My heart? My heart's still tickin'"
"Yeah, but the doctor said..."
"Listen, I know what I'm doing. And, you know, the only place I get hurt is out there. The world doesn't give a shit about me."
"I'm here. I'm really here. What do you call that?"
"Hey! You hear them? This is where I belong. I gotta go."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Money Train (1995)

Blu-Ray


Review: This is a perfect little action film. It's got the amazing chemistry between Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson, Jennifer Lopez at her most attractive, and a great loathsome villain in their overbearing boss, Robert Blake. The heist plot to steal from the New York Subway's revenue train is a simple but effective framework for the fun performances, including a small role for Chris Cooper as the Torch.

Quotes:
"You're stopping trains. I wanna know why."
"We got a police action, sir. Six line, south of Wall Street. Decoy cops in the tunnel."
"Where is the revenue train?"
"We're holding it at Wall Street."
"Send it though."
"Sir, we got cops on the tracks down there."
"Send it through! Nothing stops the money train."

"You got any cash on you?"
"What for?"
"Well, if you must know, I'm buying you a Christmas present."
"You're gonna buy me a Christmas present with my money?"
"Yeah, so don't be stingy."
"You know, you never cease to amaze me."
"You don't have to count it. I trust you, man. I'm out, see ya."
"So you're really gonna buy me a present, huh?"
"I love you, man!"
"If you love me, let me keep my money."

"No, you ain't gonna hit him."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm gonna hit him!"

"You do much decoy?"
"Six months in the outer boroughs. I liked it. But this transfer's definitely a lucky break. And they say you guys are the best."
"Oh, well, modesty prevents me from... Well, no, it does not. We are the best. You see the way he's swaying back and forth. He's got his arm swinging, you know, like he wants to take a whiz but he forgot how? He got that from me."

"You're right on the edge. You're a wreck looking for someplace to happen. I'll be there, and I'll fuck you dead."
---------
"Do you think he wants to fuck us before we're dead or fuck us afterwards?
"I understood that when we're dead, that's when he wants to fuck us."
"Either way, it's a pain in the ass."

"Hey Charlie, come back to Earth, man. All right, just... just calm down. Come on. Come on, now."
"What are you talking about?"
"Look, look. Charles, we're not gonna rob the money train."
"Why not?"
"Because, uh, uh... we're cops. And you know, remember: Serve, protect, break a mugger's neck, all of that. That's our credo."

"Hey, don't turn your back on me, bro!"
"Whoa, whoa. Now, we're not brothers, all right? We don't think alike, we don't act alike, and we damn sure don't look alike. Ever since we were kids, I've been carrying you on my back. I wipe your fucking nose, I clean up your messes. And now I'm gonna give up my badge... and my career for YOU? No, no. This is shaking time. You can get the fuck out of my life."

"Oh, now's your chance to turn me in and get a medal."
"Or you can get this damn train moving and get us the hell out of here."
"Thought you'd never ask."
"Charlie, when this is over with, remind me to knock you out."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Up the Creek (1984)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: This was a favorite of mine as a teenager. I see a lot of its flaws now, but Tim Matheson is still entertaining as the charismatic Bob McGraw, the worst student at the worst university in the nation who has to win the intercollegiate white-water raft race to earn a degree from the Dean. It's not worth the 4 stars I would have given it back then, but it has held up pretty well as a knock-off of Animal House.

Quotes:
"Aah, I need a shave, a bath, a cup of coffee and a good woman. Something tells me we've come to the wrong place."

"You get in my way again and you'll be sorry you were ever born."
"He knew then and there that the friendship they had since childhood had died a sudden and tragic death. Destroyed by the love of a woman."

"Hey, watch it..."
"Watch what?"
"Watch what a fool I can make out of myself."
"Is that worth watching?"
"Oh, I'm very good at it. Especially when I'm in the company of such an attractive woman. Haven't we met somewhere before?"
"I suppose that next your going to ask me if you can buy me a drink."
"Ah, ah, he says to himself. Here's a woman who knows a come-on when she hears one. He thinks he has her where he wants her, but he has to make sure... Can I buy you a drink? Oh, she refuses with a shake of her beautiful head. That's perfect. She passed the second test, but she's not an easy mark. Still he must try the last line. What... What is your Major?"
"Gin and Tonic."
"Ah, Gin and Tonic for the lady! Make it two, will ya? So, you want to fool around, you want to get married, perform fellatio or what? If I'm being to forward, just tell me to back off."
"Um, how about a name first?"
"An old-fashioned girl, I like that. Bob... Bob McGraw."

"I guess this means no bedtime story?"
"If I'm not back in two hours, borrow a book."

"This is it guys. We can do it, guys. I can feel it. It's just water and rock! That's all. We'll show this river who's boss. This river will be ours!!"
"This is not a good sign."
"Sorry, guys. I just got carried away."

"Do you need any help?"
"No, thanks. I've been dressing myself for years, but I appreciate the offer. Oh, and when this is over and someone has won this damn thing. I'd like to think I could jump on you again sometime."

3 out of 5 Stars