Review: John Lithgow is my second favorite actor in a sitcom after Phil Hartman. He was a tour de force that made me laugh my ass off. When I saw previews for this show I thought it would be dumb but it hit the ball out of the park with the first pitch during the first season.
Quotes:
"Sally, I want you to observe her. Find out what women on this planet do."
"Well, why can't Harry do it?"
"Because you're the woman."
"That brings up a very good question. Why am I the woman?"
"Because you lost."
"A wedding?!"
"Yeah, a big reception."
"A ritual?"
"Very traditional, crying, dancing."
"And the female devours the male immediately after the ceremony?"
"No! That's a process that takes years and years."
"You know, the light of the moon is so wonderful. It shows me what you must have looked like so many years ago."
"That was... almost beautiful."
"Well, one of us has to experience sex and I am getting nowhere with her."
"Well, why didn't you say so? I mean if sex is so important, you and I can do it right here on the desk and get it out of the way."
"Tell me Dick, what kind of shampoo do you use?"
"I don't know."
"Exactly. And do you feel the urge to have an 8 pound screaming larva rip its way out of your lower abdomen?"
"No, I think I can do without that."
"See? Here you and I are completely different life forms and it's just some sick cosmic joke that we have to share a planet."
"Why, what happened?"
"Nothing! Destroy all the mirrors. NOW!"
"No, no, no, I've got to see...... Oh My God! I'm GORGEOUS!"
"Listen, I ran out because I was disappointed in you. I thought you were different than other guys."
"Oh, I am different. You have no idea how different I am."
"Well, you're not totally to blame because I know I send some really mature signals."
"Okay. I can deal with that. I can forget the physical stuff and just be completely intellectual... all the time."
"Well... I hope not ALL the time."
"Thank God, 'cause frankly I couldn't have done that."
"Look, it's not that complicated. Sometimes you go with the intellectual, sometimes you go with the physical, and sometimes just closeness is nice."
"Well, how will I know when to do what?"
"I'll decide that as we go along."
"It seems that some of the subtler principals of electron motion are beyond everyone's grasp. Be thankful it's just a grade. In most places, this kind of performance gets you a spanking that still burns when you're blown out the airlock."
"I have a plan."
"Remember we're not allowed to liquefy humans."
"Ok, I have another plan."
"Oh now just relax. You got to calm down."
"How can I calm down? I, I, I, I feel so utterly EXPOSED and VULNERABLE... and not in that fun, spanky way."
"You don't want me to be your dad anymore?"
"No."
"Good. Because I was this close to DROP KICKING YOUR SORRY BUTT FROM HERE TO THE OUTLET MALL!!!"
"I understand. You've had the milk, why buy the cow?"
"But I want you! I want the cow!"
5 out of 5 Stars
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