Film: Zombieland (2009)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: Hilarious zombie road trip movie! I love Woody Harrelson in these type of roles. The slow motion opening credit sequence backed by Metallica's "For Whom the Bell Tolls" set up the movie perfectly. The survival rules concept popping up throughout the movie was a nice touch.

Quotes:
"Why am I alive when everyone around me has turned to meat? It's because of my list of rules. Rule number one for surviving Zombieland: Cardio. When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties. Poor fat bastard."

"So, Tallahassee, you wanna stick together. Least for a while?"
"Here's the deal, Columbus. Ah, I'm not easy to get along with and I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch so, ah, I give this relationship to about Texarkana."
"Really?! Yeah! You'll take me as far as Texarkana?"
"You're a peppy little spit-fuck, aren't you?"

"I haven't cried like that since Titanic."

"Oh, it's a '97"
"Yeah. Was that a good year?"
"Oh my God! It was a great year! Are you kidding me? I saw my first R-rated movie that year. Yeah, Anaconda."
"Ah, Anaconda."
"First tattoo, porpoise."
"Really?"
"Fake. First kiss... Scotty Lynch."
"You guys... used tongue?"
"Maybe. You jealous of Scotty Lynch?
"Yes, I am. Actually, I think I'm jealous of your whole 1997."

"My mamma always told me someday I'd be good at something. Who'd have guessed the something would be zombie killing?"
"Probably nobody."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Rambo III (1988)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


Review: The Soviet Union's invasion of Afghanistan is considered their version of the Vietnam War so it is fitting that Rambo joins the fight to rescue his captured friend, Col. Trautman. I think Rambo III is slightly better than the second and a source for much of the hilarious parody in "Hot Shots! Part Duex".

This film is an interesting companion piece to the excellent "Charlie Wilson's War". It is sad that the Mujahideen protrayed so sympathetically in these two films would squander their victory over the Russians by embarking on a destructive civil war that didn't end until the Taliban took power.

Quotes:
"Rambo, something went wrong."
"What happened?"
"Soviets intercepted the team just over the border. From what we gathered, Trautman and the rest of his party have been taken to a regional command post."
"What are you doing about it?"
"We can't do anything about it. I'm sorry. I just thought you should have known."

"You don't look like you are with the military."
"I'm not."
"What you are, mercenary?"
"No."
"You are not with the military, you are not mercenary. What are you? Lost tourist?"
"I'm no tourist."

"This is Afghanistan. Alexander the Great tried to conquer this country. Then Genghis-Khan, then the British. Now Russia, but the Afghan people fight hard. They never be defeated. Ancient enemy make a prayer about these people. Do you wish to hear?"
"Mmm-hhm."
"Very good. It says, may God deliver us from the venom of the cobra, the teeth of the tiger and the vengeance of the Afghan. Do you understand what this means?"
"That you guys don't take any shit."
"Yes, something like this."

"How's the wound?"
"You taught us to ignore pain, didn't ya?"
"Is it working?"
"Not really."

4 out of 5 Stars