TV: The Job - Complete Series (2001-2002)

DVD: 4 Discs (Full Screen for 1st Season & Anamorphic Widescreen for 2nd Season)


"Oh, I can't wait to see the headline in tomorrow's New York Post, Copper Crapper Caper... I got to write that down."
"I got another one, Cop held Craptive, Hostage Drama Flushed with Danger."

Review: Denis Leary plays almost the same exact character in "The Job" as he does in the more successful, "Rescue Me", except he is a NYPD Detective instead of a fireman. I prefer the 30 minute format of this show to the other, it is tighter and funnier with a better surrounding cast. I knew this was going to be a great show after the third episode, Bathroom. Too bad, it was cancelled after two seasons.

"How would she know what I do? Unless, of course, you tell her."
"You know how it is?"
"No, I don't, Pip. No, I don't. Okay, we're partners. Besides, we're men. Men are supposed to be able to share information with other men without stuff leaking to the enemy. That's what you're doing, leaking stuff to the enemy."
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are! Your wife was just here! My wife doesn't even know where this building is. You know what you need to do? You need to go home and get your balls out of her purse, or where ever the hell she keeps them. Slap them back on and start screaming bloody murder. That's what you need to do!"

"What's she having dinner with you for? I hear she's dating Jason Laramie."
"Who?"
"He's a model. Does underwear ads. There's one where he's under a cliff with a speargun. Another one, he's up on a ship, splashing himself with water. See him all the time in magazines, like InStyle..."
"You read InStyle Magazine?"
"...No."

"What'd I tell you? I told you he was bad. Strike 1, he's a lawyer. Strike 2, he's spent time in rehab. Strike 3, get this, he's married. Can you believe this guy? Married?"
"Well, let's see. My married partner just got off the phone with his girlfriend. Now he's upset she couldn't score the Tylenol laced with Codeine. No, I don't believe that guy!"
"Hey, totally different situation, man, totally different!!"

"So did you call public morals?"
"No, no, I'm not calling them. This is not a crime. This is a miracle."
"I'm going to go over there right now. Cover for me."
"Second Floor. Her name's Diane."

"What's up?"
"Some woman over on Madison Avenue causing a public disturbance, she's out on the sidewalk screaming at people."
"Be nice to her. That could be my mother. She's been in some mood lately."

"So, how do I look?"
"Very convincing."
"What do you mean, very convincing?"
"You're going undercover as a hooker, right?"
"No! I'm going out on a date."
"Oh, you look very nice."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the horses are on the track."
"Oh, what a beauty! Great legs. Nice cans!"
"Cans? Our horse has cans?"
"No, the blonde in the tube top."
"Frank, what does our horse look like?"
"Oh right, right. Oh, like she's ready to print us money!"

"Let me tell you something! Don't you ever, ever, mess with a black man's shrimp. Shrimp means power, wealth, success. Damn!"
"I'm sorry, man. I didn't know."
"Shrimp is the black man's lobster."
"Why isn't lobster, the black man's lobster?"
"Because lobster is the white man's lobster. We want our own damn lobster! Get out of my sight!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Nowhere to Run (1993)

DVD: Fullscreen - 1:33


"I'm not too optimistic about our young friend's success. Some of these landowners can be hard nuts to crack."
"Then we use a hammer."

Review: This one reminds me of Road House, another well-made B movie. I think it is Jean-Claude Van Damme's best film outside of "Bloodsport" & "Kickboxer". He's supported with a good script and high production values. It's got two good villians in the actors who played the cross-dressing serial killer in "Silence of the Lambs" and the nasty South African diplomat in "Lethal Weapon 2".

"Get out of the truck."
"You're scaring my children!!"
"Get out of the truck!!"
"Leave them alone."
"Who the hell are you?"
"I'm the parking attendant and you're bothering my customers."

"Astonishing, isn't it? One little woman in the middle of a wheat field. And what is she doing? She's fucking us up."

"Don't get caught, you understand?"
"I thought the local law was taken care of."
"Yeah, he's been paid, but I'm not sure he's bought."

"Au revoir, fucker."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Hot Rod (2007)

DVD: Enhanced 16:9


"All great men have mustaches!"
"Yeah, but real men actually grow them."
"You know I have a hormone disorder!!!"

Review: A fun, silly movie that cracks me up every time. Rod is an amateur stuntman trying to follow in the footsteps of his dead father. When he finds out his step-father, Frank, is dying of a bad heart, he organizes a daredevil jump to raise money for the transplant operation.

"I needed to think about last night. So I galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch-dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely long and very painful fall, I realized what has to be done."

"Frank, I'm going to get you better, you old sack of shit, and then I'm going to uncork the ass beating of a lifetime on you! And you will respect me! Peace!"

"Hey, Denise, have I ever shown you a picture of my dead dad?"
"No."
"Oh, you've gotta see it. He's super dead."
"That's him? He looks so nice. He was a stuntman?"
"Oh, yeah. He used to work for Evel Knievel, testing his bikes before big jumps. He would do the jumps first to make sure they were safe and let Evel come in and get all the glory. After a while the old man said, 'To hell with that. I want the credit I deserve' So one afternoon, he set out to jump ten milk trucks. He nailed the take-off, but when he landed, something terrible happened. His front tire exploded like a cannonball, and his handle bars went straight through his head. Blood was everywhere. His teeth were ground down to a powder, and the front of his face exploded out the back of his skull. He died instantly... the next day."

"Tai Chi teaches that if you focus your body and mind you'll be able to perform at the peak of your abilities."
"Yes, Sensei."
"You don't have to call me sensei, Rod."
"Got it. Sensei, I have a question: Is there a Tai Chi move that would make a grown man crap his pants and not know why?"
"I'm not gonna lie to you, Rod. That move does exist. But you're not ready for it yet."
"As you wish, Sensei."
"Now, we take the ball and we push the ball away."
"Yeah, we could. Or you could cut the kiddie stuff and show me the crap-yourself move."
"Hi! Hi!! Hi!!! Yah, Yah!! YAAAAH!!!"
"That didn't work! Ha, ha! Anyways, I'm gonna get going, so, take it easy. I'm gonna go see what Frank's doing."
"You wanted me to show you, Rod."
"Yeah, I did want you to show me, and you didn't, 'cause it didn't work. So now I'm gonna go, 'cause there's nothing left for me to learn. Thank you, though, for trying. That was very nice of you to try."

4 1/2 Stars out of 5

Film: This Is It (2009)

DVD: Anamorphic

"Let it simmer."

Review: I am so glad I went and saw this. I had been skeptical about seeing it, but when Michael Jackson is on a stage, he is still mesmerizing. Even at 50, he had the moves and the voice. Watching the rehearsal footage really shows a master perfecting his craft and I found myself smiling throughout the entire film. I only wish Dirty Diana had been one of the songs included in the film.

"Just a little drag, a little bit more behind the beat."
"Yeah. It's not the right sound."
"Like you're dragging yourself out of bed."

"We're sizzling. He's waiting for my point, it's coming."
"Michael, I was telling them to start when you turn towards the audience."
"Oh no, I wanna turn first, face the audience with nothing, nothing."
"Okay, Okay."
"And then when he gets my cue, then we go."
"The only thing is... how will you see the video change from the marquee to the city?"
"I gotta feel that. I'll feel it... the screen behind me."

5 out of 5 Stars