Film: Catch Me If You Can (2002)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Ah, people only know what you tell them, Carl."

Review: A fun film about a young con man and the FBI Agent trying to track him down in the 60's. Steven Spielberg directed a fast paced film and Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks are perfect in their roles.

"Mr. and Mrs. Abagnale, this is not a question of your son's attendance. I regret to inform you that, for the past week, Frank has been teaching Mrs. Glasser's French class."
"He what?"
"Your son has been pretending to be a substitute teacher, lecturing the students, uh, giving out homework, uh. Mrs. Glasser has been ill, there was some confusion with the real sub. Your son held a teacher-parent conference yesterday and was planning a class field trip to a French bread factory in Trenton."

"He doesn't have a passport."
"For the last six months, he's gone to Harvard and Berkeley. I'm betting he can get a passport."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Full Metal Jacket (1987)

DVD: Shot in Full Frame Ratio by Director


"Are you shook up? Are you nervous?"
"Sir, I am, Sir."
"Do I make you nervous?"
"Sir?"
"Sir, what? Were you about to call me an asshole?"

Review: This movie is almost two separate films, while the first half in boot camp was a five star masterpiece, the second half in Vietnam stumbled behind with four stars. Maybe it just suffers in comparison to the genius in the beginning. I saw this movie one week before I left for basic training in the Army and it scared the shit out of me so this movie will always have a place in my heart.

"Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!"

"Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pertty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful."

"Hey, you got girlfriend, Vietnam? Me so horny. Me love you long time."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Saturday Night Live - The Best of Will Ferrell, Vol. 2

DVD: 1 Disc


"And don't forget France. The French don't like me saying Axis of Evil. So guess what, they're now part of the very same Axis of Evil that they don't like me saying. How do you like them apples, France? Next time you keep your mouth shut. You mess with Texas and it's straight to the Axis of Evil. Got it?"

Review: This is a good mix of very funny Will Ferrell skits with a few average ones thrown in to pad it out. The extra never-before-seen skits are quite funny as well as the included interviews with Conan O'Brien.

"That evening, Virginia and I made love so powerful methinks I heard the god, Zeus, chuckling from on high."
"And I was there."
"Do you mean?"
"Bingo! We did a three-way."
"Now mind you, Catherine, this was looong time ago."
"Yes, yes, this was a year and a half ago."
"Gross!"

"Just work here. Take some time to weigh the Pros and Cons. Pros - You'll be working for a slightly above-average in-flight magazine for 22,000 a year. Cons - Me kicking you till there's blood in your stool, then grabbing your wife's boobies while you're tied up with a racquetball shoved in your mouth. Now balance it out and just think about it."
"I am, I just don't think I want to work here."
"Fair enough, ordinarily I'd whip your nuts with a car antenna for that kind of attitude, but you thought about it and you don't want to work here."

"I'm sorry, you have the wrong number. No, there's no 'Mark' here. My name? It's Mark. No... I spell it with a C. Who put you up to this? What do you mean you're my 'wife'? O-kay... if you're my 'wife', what's our cat's name? Mr. Stitches... Damn, you're good!"

"You're not suggesting?"
"That's right, a Pose-Off."
"Very well then. A Pose-Off it is. Have at thee!!"
"I call this one, Sunday in the Park with my Appendectomy Scar."
"Here's a little something I call, One Ball for Sister Sarah."
"All right, okay! That's enough! Enough! I want both you out of here now and I never to see either one of you at this community college again."

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: Saturday Night Live - The Best of Will Ferrell, Vol. 1

DVD: 1 Disc


"Okay, wait. Wait! Stop! Um, Bruce, could you come in here for a second, please?"
"Certainly. That was gonna be a great track. Guys, what's the deal?"
"Are you sure that was sounding okay?"
"I'll be honest, fellas. It was sounding great, but I could of used a little more cowbell. So, let's take it again. And Gene..."
"Yeah?"
"Really explore the studio space this time."
"You got it, Bruce."
"I mean, really... explore the SPACE. I like what I'm hearing. Go with it."

Review: This is a very strong collection of Will Ferrell skits from Saturday Night Live. I liked the extras which included his audition to join the show. My only disappointment was the three chapters on the DVD which showed brief clips of skits instead of their full length versions.

"I've gone out and done the musical world a freakin service and cut this compact disc. It's called The Coconut Bangers Ball: It's a Rap. Ha, Ha, Ha. A little inside, I know. Anyway, what you get is one full hour of rip-roaring rap music. Not by some dubious ruffians without the chops, but by a professionally trained voiceman. No musical accompaniment. It's just me out there, Robert Goulet. Watch what I do with this little ditty from Mr. Sisqo called, The Thong Song."

"Hey, now Ken, we all know that the moon is not made of green cheese."
"Yes, that's true, Harry."
"But what if it were made of BBQ spare ribs, would you eat it then?"
"What?"
"I know I would. Heck, I'd have seconds. And then polish it off with a tall, cool Budweiser... I would do it. Would you?"
"I... I... I'm confused."
"It's a simple question, Doctor. Would you eat the moon if it were made of ribs?"
"I don't know how to answer that question."
"It's not rocket science. Just say yes and we'll move on."

"Nothing pleases me more than seeing two new lovers take off into the night mist."
"Yes, Lover, I think there is only one reward for the job we've done."
"Let the screams of our love-making reverberate off the roof of the Welshly Arms and into the night sky."
"Oh, Lover. Oh, Lover."
"Ow, Ow! My back!"
"What? Your back? I thought the water might help..."
"Well, it doesn't. GET THE HELL OFF ME!"

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Airplane! (1980)

Blu-Ray:


Review: The slapstick spoof comedy classic that started a new genre of it's own. Lots of great word play and sight gags!

"Nervous?"
"Yes."
"First time?"
"No, I've been nervous lots of times.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking... We're regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered. There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight... By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"

"Can you fly this plane, and land it?"
"Surely you can't be serious."
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."

"Our only hope is to build this man up. We gotta give him all the confidence we can... Striker, have you ever flown a multi-engine plane before?"
"No, never."
"Shit. It's a God damn waste of time. There's no way he can land this plane."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: American Pie (1999)

DVD: Anamorphic


"I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking USE them!"

Review: This movie is a mixed bag due to it's large cast. I only found about half of them to be funny or interesting. This created a real up and down viewing experience for me. That said, the good outweighed the bad with lots of funny dialog throughout.

"Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?"
"...like warm apple pie."

"What's my name? Say my name, bitch!"
"Michelle! Michelle!"

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Awakenings (1990)

DVD: Anamorphic


"What's it like to be them? What are they thinking?"
"They're not. The virus didn't spare their higher faculties."
"You know that for a fact?"
"Yes."
"Because?"
"Because... the alternative is unthinkable."

Review: This was the movie that introduced me to Robin Williams' talented acting in a non-comedic role. This is great movie and Robert DeNiro was great as the patient who awakens from a decades long comatose state due to an experimental drug.

"You'd think at a certain point all these atypical somethings would amount to a typical something."

"My son is in pain! Please, stop this!"
"He's fighting, Mrs. Lowe."
"He's losing."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: The Great Outdoors (1988)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Chet is gonna shit a solid gold brick when he sees us."

Review: Another fun vacation movie with John Candy in the vein of "Summer Rental". Dan Ackroyd plays the annoying brother-in-law who crashes the cabin trip of Candy's family and has allot of the funniest lines. It is written by John Hughes and is filled humorous situations but little plot.

"Pontoon boat? Whaddya going to do with a pontoon boat? Retake Omaha Beach?"

"Why do Chet's kids look at him like he's Zeus and my kids look at me like I'm a rack of lawn tools at Sears?"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: French Kiss (1995)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Do you believe in love? The kind that lasts forever?"
"I loved my mother."
"No, everyone loves their mother. Even people who say they hate their mothers love their mothers. My question is, one man for one woman?"
"It is not a very interesting question. It is the question of a little girl who still believes in fairy tales."

Review: This is a pleasant romantic comedy that resonates with me because Kevin Kline's character reminds me of my father in a way. I also saw it for the first time right after my first trip to Europe so it takes me back. The DVD transfer is pretty weak.

"Look, I just spent seven hours on an airplane crossing an ocean. I'm tired and I'm hungry and I just want to see my fiance. Now are you going to help me or not?"
"Madame, it is my duty as concierge to vigorously safeguard the privacy of our guests, and if our guests need safeguarding from their own fiancees, well after all, unlike some countries, France is not a nation of puritanical hypocrites."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Boyz N the Hood (1991)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Either they don't know, don't show, or don't care about what's going on in the hood."

Review: This is the best movie ever made about growing up in South Central LA. It starts out as a kind of urban "Stand by Me" for the first quarter, but quickly jumps ahead to the critical time in the lives of the teenagers as they face choices on how they are going to live as adults. Laurence Fishburne is great as the strict father who teaches his son responsibility.

My only problem with the movie is the father advising his son not to join the Army based on his experience in Vietnam and the belief that the Army is no place for a black man. Personally, from my time in the Army, I had nothing but great respect for all the black authority figures I had from my Drill Sergeants, Squad & Platoon Leaders and the Captain of my first company.

"Why is it that there is a gun shop on almost every corner in this community?"
"Why?"
"I'll tell you why. For the same reason that there is a liquor store on almost every corner in the black community. Why? They want us to kill ourselves."

"Trey, your pops is like mothafuckin Malcolm... Farrakhan."

5 out of 5 Stars