"Oh, I can't wait to see the headline in tomorrow's New York Post, Copper Crapper Caper... I got to write that down."
"I got another one, Cop held Craptive, Hostage Drama Flushed with Danger."
Review: Denis Leary plays almost the same exact character in "The Job" as he does in the more successful, "Rescue Me", except he is a NYPD Detective instead of a fireman. I prefer the 30 minute format of this show to the other, it is tighter and funnier with a better surrounding cast. I knew this was going to be a great show after the third episode, Bathroom. Too bad, it was cancelled after two seasons.
"How would she know what I do? Unless, of course, you tell her."
"You know how it is?"
"No, I don't, Pip. No, I don't. Okay, we're partners. Besides, we're men. Men are supposed to be able to share information with other men without stuff leaking to the enemy. That's what you're doing, leaking stuff to the enemy."
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are! Your wife was just here! My wife doesn't even know where this building is. You know what you need to do? You need to go home and get your balls out of her purse, or where ever the hell she keeps them. Slap them back on and start screaming bloody murder. That's what you need to do!"
"What's she having dinner with you for? I hear she's dating Jason Laramie."
"Who?"
"He's a model. Does underwear ads. There's one where he's under a cliff with a speargun. Another one, he's up on a ship, splashing himself with water. See him all the time in magazines, like InStyle..."
"You read InStyle Magazine?"
"...No."
"What'd I tell you? I told you he was bad. Strike 1, he's a lawyer. Strike 2, he's spent time in rehab. Strike 3, get this, he's married. Can you believe this guy? Married?"
"Well, let's see. My married partner just got off the phone with his girlfriend. Now he's upset she couldn't score the Tylenol laced with Codeine. No, I don't believe that guy!"
"Hey, totally different situation, man, totally different!!"
"So did you call public morals?"
"No, no, I'm not calling them. This is not a crime. This is a miracle."
"I'm going to go over there right now. Cover for me."
"Second Floor. Her name's Diane."
"What's up?"
"Some woman over on Madison Avenue causing a public disturbance, she's out on the sidewalk screaming at people."
"Be nice to her. That could be my mother. She's been in some mood lately."
"So, how do I look?"
"Very convincing."
"What do you mean, very convincing?"
"You're going undercover as a hooker, right?"
"No! I'm going out on a date."
"Oh, you look very nice."
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the horses are on the track."
"Oh, what a beauty! Great legs. Nice cans!"
"Cans? Our horse has cans?"
"No, the blonde in the tube top."
"Frank, what does our horse look like?"
"Oh right, right. Oh, like she's ready to print us money!"
"Let me tell you something! Don't you ever, ever, mess with a black man's shrimp. Shrimp means power, wealth, success. Damn!"
"I'm sorry, man. I didn't know."
"Shrimp is the black man's lobster."
"Why isn't lobster, the black man's lobster?"
"Because lobster is the white man's lobster. We want our own damn lobster! Get out of my sight!"
4 1/2 out of 5 Stars
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