"All great men have mustaches!"
"Yeah, but real men actually grow them."
"You know I have a hormone disorder!!!"
Review: A fun, silly movie that cracks me up every time. Rod is an amateur stuntman trying to follow in the footsteps of his dead father. When he finds out his step-father, Frank, is dying of a bad heart, he organizes a daredevil jump to raise money for the transplant operation.
"I needed to think about last night. So I galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch-dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely long and very painful fall, I realized what has to be done."
"Frank, I'm going to get you better, you old sack of shit, and then I'm going to uncork the ass beating of a lifetime on you! And you will respect me! Peace!"
"Hey, Denise, have I ever shown you a picture of my dead dad?"
"No."
"Oh, you've gotta see it. He's super dead."
"That's him? He looks so nice. He was a stuntman?"
"Oh, yeah. He used to work for Evel Knievel, testing his bikes before big jumps. He would do the jumps first to make sure they were safe and let Evel come in and get all the glory. After a while the old man said, 'To hell with that. I want the credit I deserve' So one afternoon, he set out to jump ten milk trucks. He nailed the take-off, but when he landed, something terrible happened. His front tire exploded like a cannonball, and his handle bars went straight through his head. Blood was everywhere. His teeth were ground down to a powder, and the front of his face exploded out the back of his skull. He died instantly... the next day."
"Tai Chi teaches that if you focus your body and mind you'll be able to perform at the peak of your abilities."
"Yes, Sensei."
"You don't have to call me sensei, Rod."
"Got it. Sensei, I have a question: Is there a Tai Chi move that would make a grown man crap his pants and not know why?"
"I'm not gonna lie to you, Rod. That move does exist. But you're not ready for it yet."
"As you wish, Sensei."
"Now, we take the ball and we push the ball away."
"Yeah, we could. Or you could cut the kiddie stuff and show me the crap-yourself move."
"Hi! Hi!! Hi!!! Yah, Yah!! YAAAAH!!!"
"That didn't work! Ha, ha! Anyways, I'm gonna get going, so, take it easy. I'm gonna go see what Frank's doing."
"You wanted me to show you, Rod."
"Yeah, I did want you to show me, and you didn't, 'cause it didn't work. So now I'm gonna go, 'cause there's nothing left for me to learn. Thank you, though, for trying. That was very nice of you to try."
4 1/2 Stars out of 5
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