"This pirate trend she's come up with, Jerry... This is gonna be the new look of the '90s. You're gonna be the first pirate."
"But I don't want to be a pirate."
Review: Another great year that centered on George going home to live with his parents. The Pie, The Marine Biologist & The Opposite are the season's highlights.
"Just one little problem."
"Sexual?"
"Well... I've never really felt confident in, ah, one particular aspect."
"Below the equator?"
"Yeah."
"Nobody does. You know, nobody knows what to do. You just close your eyes and hope for the best. I really think they're happy if you just make the effort."
"I don't know. Last time I got the tap."
"Tragic story, I'm afraid. He could've had any woman in the world but none could match the beauty of his own hand. And that became his one true love."
"You mean, aah..."
"Yes. He was not master of his domain."
"But how..?"
"The muscles became so strained with overuse that eventually the hand locked into a deformed position. He was left with nothing but a claw."
"If a couple breaks up with plans to go to a neutral place, who withdraws? What's the etiquette?"
"Excellent question."
"I mean, I think she should withdraw. She's the breaker. He's the breakee. He needs to get on with his life."
"I beg to differ. He's the loser. She's the victor. To the victor belong the spoils."
"Jerry, this woman hates me so much... I'm starting to like her."
"What?"
"She just dislikes me so much... it's irresistible."
"I can see that."
"A woman that hates me this much comes along once in a lifetime."
"You're a lucky guy."
"I gotta go after her."
"You think she's Erica, the phone-sex woman?"
"Jerry, that voice is tattooed on my brain, it's her. I'm telling you, it's HER!"
"Oh, you're crazy."
"Am I? Or am I SO SANE that you just blew your mind?"
"It's impossible!"
"Is it? Or is it SO POSSIBLE that your head is spinning like a top?"
"It can't be!"
"Can't it? Or is your ENTIRE WORLD just crashing down all around you?"
"All right. That's enough."
"I don't know why your interested in this guy. He's a jerk."
"Because he doesn't pay any attention to me, and he ignores me."
"Yeah, so?"
"I respect that."
"Jerry and his buxom little friend, Rachel, were going at it pretty good in the balcony."
"What?"
"Do I have to spell it out for you? He was moving on her like the stormtroopers into Poland."
"Jerry was necking during Schindler's List?"
"YES. AND A MORE OFFENSIVE SPECTACLE I CANNOT RECALL."
"Elaine. Elaine! Get in here!"
"What?"
"Do women know about shrinkage?"
"What do you mean, like laundry?"
"No. Like when a man goes swimming... Afterwards..."
"It shrinks?"
"Like a frightened turtle."
"Why does it shrink?"
"It just does."
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
5 out of 5 Stars
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