"I'm sorry. I couldn't get out of there. What did I miss?"
"After ordering, Mr. Seinfeld and Mr. Costanza debated on whether Iron Man wore some sort of undergarment between his skin and his iron suit."
"I still say he's naked under there."
"Then Mr. Seinfeld went to the restroom at which point, Mr. Costanza scooped ice out of Mr. Seinfeld's drink with his bare hand and used it to wash up. And then Mr. Costanza remarked to me: This never happened."
Review: While this finale season got a little wacky, it has a lot of classic scenes.
"Serenity NOW!"
"What is the matter?"
"It's Patty."
"Jerry, you break up with a girl every week."
"What, what is this salty discharge?"
"Oh, my God, you're crying."
"This is horrible... I care."
"Didn't go for it, huh?"
"No."
"So she didn't appreciate the erotic qualities of the salted-cured meats?"
"She tolerated the strawberries and the chocolate sauce... but it's not a meal, you know? Food and sex. Those are my two passions. It's only natural to combine them."
"Mr. Kramer, I've been reading some of your material here. I gotta be honest with you. You make a pretty strong case. I mean, just imagine. An army of men in wool pants, running through the neighborhood handing out pottery catalogs door to door. Ha, ha, ha..."
"Ha, ha, ha."
"...Well, it's my job. And I'm pretty damn serious about it. In addition to being a postmaster, I'm a general and we both know it's the job of a general to, by God, get things DONE!. So maybe you can understand why I get a little irritated when somebody calls me away from my golf!"
"I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry."
"Sure, you're sorry. I think we got a stack of mail there at the desk that belongs to you. Now you want that mail, don't you, Mr. Kramer?"
"Sure do."
"Now that's better."
"You're an alcoholic. You have to apologize! Step 9. Step 9."
"All right, George, all right. I'm sorry. I'm very , very sorry. I'm so sorry that I didn't want your rather bulbous head struggling to finds its way into the normal-size neck hole of my finely knit sweater."
"Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!"
"What happened to the doll?"
"It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born. A Festivus for the rest of us!"
"I got to talk her out of this."
"I thought you said she stinks?"
"She does stink. And she should quit. But I don't want it to be because of me. It should be the traditional route. Years of rejection and failure until she's spit out the bottom of the porn industry."
"I have made an important life decision. I know I have been kind of shooting off at the mouth lately. First, with that girl whose life you destroyed... and then about George dating a lady Jerry."
"What's the decision?!"
"I know you want me to keep my big mouth shut. Well, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm never going to talk again."
"Yeah, right."
"What do I need to talk about, huh? What, to blab to the neighbors about how George has a new fem-Jerry friend? Or to tell everybody at the coffee shop how George is all mixed up in a perverse sexual amalgam of some girl and his best friend? See, now, I've done all that. Now, it's time for silence."
"Kramer, you're never going to be able to completely stop talking."
"Jerry, ninety-four percent of communication is non-verbal. Here, watch..."
"Well, what does this mean?"
"It's Frank and Estelle's reaction to hearing about George's man love for a she-Jerry."
4 1/2 out of 5 Stars
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