Film: Play It to the Bone (2000)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"This is Joe, fellas. You guys ever take a fight on short notice?"
"How short?"
"Six o'clock tonight. I need two guys. You put on a really good show... You guys never fought each other, right?"
"Well, for money you mean?"

Review: I didn't care for this movie the first time I saw it, but now I love it. Ron Shelton does the same thing for boxing in this film that he did for baseball and golf in "Bull Durham" and "Tin Cup". I like that he casts and writes for attractive, older women. Lolita Davidovich is just as perfect as Susan Sarandon and Rene Russo were in his earlier movies. Woody Harrelson and Antonio Banderas have good chemistry as two over-the-hill fighters with one last chance for a title shot.

"I don't know if I can fight him. You know, I'm afraid I'm gonna freeze up and pull my punches. You know? We're tight. It's like... Uh, the worst thing you wanna feel in the ring is compassion."
"Vince, all you need is the bell."

"Grace, if you have to bet on tonight's fight, uh, who do you think is gonna win? Me or Vince? No bullshit about it."
"He's gonna kick your ass."
"No."
"Too much experience."
"I'm quicker."
"He can take a punch. He'll slip your jab, work your body and he's a great counterpuncher. I'm sorry, Ces. Just circle to the left and you'll be okay."
"Circle to the left."
"Yeah."
"Well... But, uh, who is the better lover? Me or Vince?"
"No contest. You."

"How old are you?"
"Twenty."
"Another five years, you're gonna be sucked out, fucked out, doped out, lookin' for a handout."
"Oh, but what a five years, huh?"

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: American Dad! - Volume 4 (2008)

DVD: 3 Discs


Review: "Tearjerker" was a fun Bond spoof and "Choosy Wives Choose Smith" was hilarious.

Quotes:
"How can you buddy up to Julie after what you did to her husband?!"
"You're the one who wanted me to share. You said you didn't want to listen anymore. So I found someone who does."
"Really? And did you tell your new best friend your deep, dark secret?"
"Are you kidding? She'd go straight to the CIA! They'd designate me a blabbermouth, kill me, grind me up and mix me into the local baloney supply! Not... Not that the CIA does that... You should keep eating baloney. It's good for you."

"Sorry I gagged you. I was going to gag you with a spoon. You know, sort of an '80s throwback. But then I thought, 'Who's that for? Who am I doing that for?'"

"Kill. [Stamp] Kill. [Stamp] Don't Kill. [Stamp] Hey, I went to to High School with this guy! Kill. [Stamp]"

"I dreamed of coming to Langley Falls, Stan. Because I vowed, 'The West stole my son, so I will steal your son... for Communism!'"
"That'll never happen! Steve's an American boy! He's made of my American juices, baked in his mother's American oven!"

"Your mom's enthusiastic spending is exactly what Jesus had in mind when he invented capitalism."

"There's your alien, men! I pooped him out!"
"What? You said I'd get away! You sold me out! I trusted you!"
"I don't know what he's talking about. He'll say anything to save his life. We'd better cut him up immediately."
"No! Kill him instead! He's been harboring me! I've been living in his..."
"...large intestine. It was terrible. I though kidney stones were bad."
"Nice work, Smith. I assume you'll want some days off to nurse your devastated bunghole."

"I'm sorry, that was unprofessional. I've been a bit consumed with one of my other patients. He's a complicated teenaged drug addict who's being molested... by me."

"Stan, can you please talk to your daughter. Look at her!"
"My God! Get that slut shrapnel out of your face this instant!"
"It's just a nose ring."
"It's a gateway piercing. Next thing you know, you'll have a bone for your lip like one of those rain forest people that Sting is always whining about."

"Have you ever been beaten naked in a gym shower, Stan? One day, when I was showering after gym class, these mean pretty girls caught me and kept scrubbing me all over with soap. I mean, they didn't miss a spot! And even though we were all wet and naked and slippery, they were still able to get me on all fours, and shove my face to the floor! Can you imagine, Stan?"
"How'd they catch you again?"

"Well, I'd rather be acting crazy than feeling crazy. That's good, Stan. I'm gonna write that down when we land. Oh, already forgot it."

"Have fun, you two!"
"Don't worry, we will! 'Cause we're finally going all the way! Doin' it, doin' it, d-d-doin' it! Should we break for lunch? Nope! Let's keep doin' it, doin' it! Someone's at the door! I don't care! We're doin' it, doin' it! Wanna put on our hikin' boots? Yeah! We'll wear 'em while we're doin' it, doin' it! I like the rhythm, it is my method."

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: American Dad! - Volume 3 (2007)

DVD: 3 Discs


"He's an unregistered visitor."
"You mean an illegal alien?!"
"What happened to the 'land of the free'? These people have a right to be here."
"People? They're parasites sucking on the rich blood of America... and we need that blood to shed for oil."

Review: Another great season of American Dad. Patrick Stewart is great as Stan's CIA boss.

"What a boob!"
"What was that, Steve?"
"Uh, I, uh... I asked Hayley if I could squeeze her boob."
"I love it when you kids get along."

"Stan, enough. This day isn't about you and your lies. It's about Roger and his lies."

"You may be beautiful on the outside like Kevin Bacon, but you're ugly on the inside like Tommy Lee Jones... on the outside. And the inside."

"Come on, people! Give me one original way to assassinate somebody and we can all go home."
"I got it! Okay. First, we hire a midget..."
"I'm listening."

"All right, target identified. Let's bring on the charm."
"Hi, I'm..."
"INTERCOURSE!!"
"Excuse me?"
"Intercourse! I going to have intercourse with you! I'm divorced. It's fine... God, I guess I'm a little rusty. Need to ease into it a bit... FOREPLAY, then intercourse!"

"Steve doesn't know how to be a man. Who's gonna take over when I'm enjoying a glorious Reagan-style slide into dementia?"

"We're so glad to have you, Hayley. I know it's not easy to pose nude."
"Maybe for some people. But I am a proud and evolved woman. And I have nothing to be ashamed of."
"Nice, does anyone have any more areola pink? I only have one tube."

"Hayley, take the hand of your new boyfriend, Dill. Look aroused! Ten percent more aroused. Scale it back two percent. Ah, young love."

"Do you know how many babies a year are born without an anus?"
"That's it. No more WebMD for you."

"Steve, it's a beautiful afternoon. Shouldn't you be outside with your friends turning my toolshed into Mordor... or Endor or... something heartbreaking?"

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: American Dad! - Volume 2 (2005-2006)

DVD: 3 Discs


"Why did you cheat?"
"I'm sorry. It's just creative writing is hard. I can't do it."
"Can't? We don't live in Ameri-can't, Steve. We live in Ameri-ca. No, wait. We live in Ameri-can. No, wait. That's not right. We are American. Where... Where was I going with this?"
"Um, I said creative writing is hard."
"Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh, perseverance, Steve. It's all about perseverance. And if I Ameri-can't teach you about it, I have a friend who Ameri-will. Well, that sounded good. Had a bumpy start there, but I think I pulled it together."

Review: A hilarious series about a right-wing conservative who works for the CIA and his family which includes an alien. Any episode focusing on Stan and Roger are comedy gold. "Roger 'n' Me, "Lincoln Lover" and "Dungeons and Wagons" are classic episodes.

"When did you stop loving Mommy?"
"What?"
"Cause if you loved me, you wouldn't want me to have ugly hair. But do what makes you happy. I have to go put some ointment on that hideous cesarean scar I have because of you."
"But Hayley was the cesarean."
"Oh, that's right. With you, I just tore from my V to my A. Good night."

"Haley, what the hell is that?"
"My animal rights group rescued him from a product testing lab. These poor creatures are being shampooed up to 10 times a day!"
"Get it the hell out of here!"
"I can't. Everyone's counting on me to give it sanctuary until its hair loses its volume and luster."

"Stan, it's great the C.I.A. gave you that $20,000 bonus for 'Most Evasive Testimony to Congress'. But at this rate, it'll be gone in no time."
"Hey, if I don't buy all this crap, the terrorists win. And don't tell it's not a competition, because it so is."

"You got a best buddy? Can I be your second best buddy?"
"Let's see. How do I hang an air freshener on this? You are a total waste of space. I often dream of killing you... Ah, mountain pine."

"Stan might be an insensitive feelings hurter... but he'd never cheat on you."
"It's not Stan I'm worried about. It's the female 'entertainment' I don't trust. Men throw a little cash at 'em, they do anything. Then sometimes, when you're on the floor with another girl, guys will throw money, then pick it up and throw the same singles out there again. Like I'm an idiot! Like I don't have peripheral vision!"

"God, look at me, I'm hideous."
"Stan, you've been working out for three weeks. You look great."
"Great, as is great big fatso. You know, this is how it starts, Francine. First, you go soft in the belly. Then you go soft in defense. Next thing you know, you're wearing a towel on your head and using your left hand for toilet paper. Well, not in my America."

"We're coming from our gay Republican meeting."
"You're a Republican!"
"Honey, I can explain..."
"Oh, you didn't know? Oh, that's... that's funny. Gay couples lie to each other just like regular couples. Well, bye."
"All these years you been a Republican?"
"Listen, calm down. We'll go inside and..."
"I am not calming down. For God's sake, Republicans are the people who say we can't get married."
"And right now, I want to send them a big thank you basket from the Body Factory."
"Don't tell me you voted for 'He Who Shall Not Be Named'!"
"Look, the war was inevitable, freedom isn't free."
"Are you kidding me!!!!!"

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: American Dad! - Volume 1 (2005)

3 Discs


Review: American Dad is the show that Seth MacFarlane created after Family Guy was cancelled the first time. While I didn't care for it at first, it quickly grew on me during this 1st season with the character of Roger the Alien. It is much more story-driven than the joke-filled randomness of Family Guy.

Quotes:
"This is Stan Smith."
"Mr. Smith, I'm afraid there's a problem with your son."
"Oh, God, he's gay. This is it. This is the gay call. I've been ready for this for years."

"What makes you think you're going to survive?"
"My species is immune to all human ailments."
"So explain that cold sore."
"Mind your own business!"

"You get back here, Hayley! No? Well, I didn't want to had to use this, but... Rhubarb!"
""Rhubarb?"
"Hmm, that's her trigger word; I had her brainwashed at five. She's supposed to kill Walter Mondale, but I guess it didn't take."

"My mother stole my boyfriend!"
"Your boyfriend stole my wife! Let's get back at them by dating each other... Wait a minute, Daddy didn't think that through."

"Stupid gas-guzzler... that I as an American have every right to drive."

"So, what part of Islam do you hail from?"
"Well, my parents were from Iran, but I was born in Cleveland."
"Really? You know, we also have a Cleveland here in America. And it'd be just super if you didn't blow it up."

"Let 'em go, Stan! It's been a fun ride, but it's over!"
"Oh, not this old bit. You point a gun at me, I pretend I'm gonna do what you say, then I pull out my gun, we do our little John Woo standoff, inevitably your arm gets tired, then you drop your gun and we have nobody-got-shot sex... Where are you...? Francine! Well, why did you pull a gun on me if you didn't want to have sex?!"

"I promise I'll help you find a safe way to socialize with humans."
"That'd be great, Hayley. I feel so cooped up in this place. It's like a prison, except without the thrill of a daily cavity search... Did I say thrill? I meant fear."

"Jeff, that's a corn-dog! We're vegetarian!"
"Still?"

"Oh, God, we're all going to die... and our lives meant nothing, absolutely nothing! I mean... uh, something comforting."

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: Charles in Charge - 2nd Season (1987)

DVD: 3 Discs


"The new boy in the neighborhood,"
"Lives downstairs and it's understood."
"He’s there just to take good care of me,"
"Like he’s one of the family."

"Charles in Charge"
"Of our days and our nights."
"Charles in Charge"
"Of our wrongs and our rights."

"And I sing, I want, I want,"
"Charles in Charge of me!"

Review: This is a guilty pleasure show starting with the revamped second season where they brought in the Powell family and changed the theme song to the more familiar sound. It's very cheesy, but I love it. Willie Aames is great as Buddy.

"He's gonna do my math homework. He's gonna clean my room. Look at him. Isn't this great! We own this guy. He's gonna do whatever we tell him."
"Go to bed!"

"How do I look?"
"Wash your face and burn those clothes."
"Too much rouge?"

"Charles, wait. Adam saw a nude model?"
"Uh, yeah. Mrs. Powell, I'm really sorry."
"It's partly my fault. I made you take Adam to the class. But when Rebbecca started to take off her clothes, the three of you could have walked out, couldn't you?"
"No!"

"Maybe this will refresh your libido. I submit a photograph of... Ta Da, the Defulvio sisters."
"Buddy, look, there are not enough hours in the day for me to eat, sleep, study and to meet these girls. Now I hate to say it, but I, umm... I, umm, going to have to give up sleeping."

"What about the student loan I have right now, the one that is supposedly under review?"
"Charles, let me explain something. From now on, the only way you're going to get any new government money is to declare yourself a third world country and flirt with communism."

"All I can say is phooey!"
"I know exactly how you feel, Mrs. Powell. When I heard they cancelled Charles' loan, I also said the F-word."
"P-H"
"Huh?"
"Phooey starts with P-H."
"I know."

"Buddy, let me ask you something? How important is this play to you?"
"How important is a parachute to a skydiver? How important is water to a carp? How important is balls... to a tennis player?"

"Sarah, this is important. Choosing the right lipstick is crucial. According to American Teen Magazine, your lips are your second greatest asset."
"What's my first?"
"You don't have them yet."

"If I forget one little thing I get in trouble."
"That's because you always do things right, Sarah. You're conscientious. People expect it of you. Jamie, on the other hand, is a little like me, cute and friendly but kind of a flake."
"Thanks a lot, Buddy!"
"It just isn't fair. Maybe I'll try being a flake for awhile."
"Nah, I don't think it would work. You see, good flakes are born, not made."

"C'mere Adam. Have a seat. What are you going to do with the tennis ball can?"
"Kevin and I are going to use it after school. Mom said it was okay."
"Oh, and what are you planning to put in the can?"
"Nothing, just some old rags."
"And maybe a little lighter fluid?"
"Yeah!"
"Then you strike a match and, POW, the tennis ball can is launched into outer space!"
"You know about that?"
"Uncle Buddy knows everything. Forget it Adam, your launch has been aborted."

"Okay, tell me again, exactly what she said."
"She said, I want your body."
"Ah, the most beautiful words in the English language."

4 out of 4 Stars