"What the hell is going on here? Dennis?"
"Going on? I tell you what's going on. We're living in a society where human privacy has taken a back seat to the ever watchful eye of big brother. Hidden cameras in our homes? What's next, bar codes on our heads? Shame on you, Jack Gallo. Shame on you and all the other fascists who are chipping away at our personal freedoms, each and every day."
"You stooped my nanny, didn't you?"
"Twice."
Review: Another great season of Just Shoot Me! that ends with Finch getting married to a supermodel. For awhile I thought they would never release another season on DVD.
"Breasts, eight letters?"
"Bazongas, Balloons, Knockers..."
"Seven letters beginning with a H."
"Hooters, Honkers, Highbeams..."
"Now in Spanish."
"Cha Chas, Pinatas, Maracas..."
"Oh, so you basically you spend all your time thinking of synonyms for breasts?"
"I also do bottoms."
"Alphabetically."
"Ass, booty, caboose, derriere, endzone, fanny, glutie-pops..."
"What are you up to?"
"Oh, not much. Jill has a crush on Maya and I'm playing matchmaker."
"Why?"
"Why? Call it a quest... Call it a dream... but if I can be part of, adjacent to, or even hear about two women frolicking in the secret garden then I will not have lived my life in vain."
"That's all very fine and dandy, but despite her fondness for Birkenstocks, Maya is not into women."
"Let me lay a little science on you, Nina. All women are two drinks away from a girl-on-girl adventure."
"Courtney, I don't know what's come over me, I think it's you. I'm just going to be bold. We've wasted so much time already. I just want to take you home, hold you tightly in my arms and together experience a world of possibilities."
"Wow! If by world of possibilities, you mean, the hottest, wildest, oiliest, night of crazy, freaky, monkey sex this side of Bangkok. Then I say, Saddle up Cowboy, you're going for the ride of your life."
"Giddy up."
"I shouldn't have said what I did... and, uh, well, I'm really sorry."
"Well, Mark, it's big of you to admit that. You were a little out of line. C'mon, look at me. I'm cool. All right? I'm not one of those freaky fans... Hi, you've reached Dennis Finch and..."
"Mark Hamill?"
"He He He... of the Rebel Alliance so leave a message, you losers. Ptchooh! Ptchooh! Ptchooh!"
"See, I feel better already. Hey, what was that button for?"
"Oh, that summons the police. How's the lollipop?"
"You don't understand. I'm returning this."
"Someone has to teach you a lesson and I know just the dirty cop to do it."
"But I'm doing the right thing."
"When you get to prison, be sure to knife the first guy you see. Now you'll spend two months in the hole, but they'll respect you."
"What's happening?"
"That's what you're going to say when they corner you in the laundry."
"Hey, there's the bell. What's your card say?"
"Oh Nigel, I'm frightened. Won't you push your head between my bosoms and comfort me?"
"How awkward, but if it says so on the card."
"And my buttocks, Sir, they're so very cold. Won't you cup them?"
"Hey, who's making bogus cards on the laser printer?"
"Oh, you bastard!"
"I never claimed to be otherwise."
4 1/2 out of 5 Stars
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