"Ah, yes. Unlimited sex, the adult male's version of owning a candy store. But tell me, once you've consumed as much sex for as long as you wanted, what would you do then?"
"...I'd help the poor."
Review: One of the best sitcoms of all time. The contentious interaction between Sam and Diane is the best written and acted relationship on TV. The show started out great even without two of my favorite characters, Woody and Fraiser. This Show is Ageless.
"Oh, I get it. You got angry because she considered you nothing but a stud service."
"No, I like that."
"For one terrible moment, I actually saw myself through his eyes. I saw nothing but a cheap, harlot."
"Oh, c'mon. We all know that you'd starve to death before you made a living with YOUR body."
"I don't know what I'm doing back there. Does anyone know anything about plumbing?"
"Well, uh, Romans had a elaborate system of aqueducts, Sammy, and they were sort of the fore-runners of..."
"Cliff, Cliff, I need somebody to help me FIX the plumbing."
"Heh, listen, before you came to work at this bar I never thought that much about morality and integrity. You made me aware of all that stuff for the first time."
"Thank you, Sam."
"That's why I'm firing you. You can leave your apron right there on the bar stool."
"Your problem is that the only way you can relate to women is sexually."
"Oh, oh, well, you want to know what your problem is? You always got to think about things. You always got to talk about things. WHAT are we doing this for? WHAT does it mean? WHAT are we going to do? GOD, IT MAKES ME SO MAD!!!!"
"A little black book? Didn't those go out with getting a girl drunk and seducing her?"
"That's out now?"
"Bars can be very sad places. Some people spend there whole lives in a bar. Just yesterday, some guy sat right here next to me for eleven hours."
"Yeah, what kind of life is that? Huh?"
"Pitiful, ya know. And you know the sad thing is, you know that guy is sitting in some bar right now, drinking a beer, going on and on about nothing."
"You are the worst thing that happened to me. Before you came here, I was a happy man."
"You honestly believe you were happier before you met me than you are now?"
"Hell, yes! I mean, how do you think it feels to be attracted to someone that makes you sick?"
4 out of 4 Stars
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