"The way I see it, you haven't had a date with a guy for about two and a half years. Now I think this date of ours could be good for me, but Sweetheart, I got to say. It's looking really necessary for you."
Review: There was no big story arcs this season, just funny episodes. Woody's girlfriend Kelly was introduced this season in two hilarious episodes and Margaret makes here first appearance as Cliff's perfect mate.
"Cliff, you should write a book."
"Why thank you, Carla."
"No, I mean right now... I mean it, look... Here's a pencil and some paper. Go on in the back room and don't come out until you have 60,000 words... Go on."
"You know, you've been wearing an awful lot of fat clothes recently, haven't you?"
"Oh, just shut up, Butthead!"
"She called me a Butthead. I think I'm gonna cry."
"Don't worry, Sam. It only looks that way from the back."
"Oh Lord, is this still going on? This has got to be one of the stupidest arguments I've ever heard since I started coming to this bar."
"Hey, we resent that. Why isn't it THE stupidest?"
"Well frankly, it lacks meaningless statistics and inane historical trivia. Say, where is Cliff anyway?"
"Hey guys, wait'll you hear this. I'm sitting at a table in this restaurant with Judy and Laurie. The mother reaches over and grabs my knee and says, 'Sam, I want you.'"
"Get out!"
"Then, I feel the daughter reaching over and grabbing my other knee and she says, 'I want you too, Sammie.'"
"Well, yeah? Yeah, yeah?"
"Then I woke up... You know what this dream means don't you?"
"It means you even dream better than we do."
"My place is here, in America. I can't leave my home. Can't you stay here with me?"
"I'm a mail carrier, Cliff. I have to deliver the mail."
"I understand."
"But Cliff, it'll be so terrible. I'll be so cold and all alone. Who will keep me warm?"
"You'll do fine, Margaret. Woman have that extra layer of fat. Carry on, O'Keefe."
"I'll never forget you Cliff Clavin. Goodbye."
"Anyway, I'll be summering in DC, God help me. Dad's favored me with the option of going up on the Hill to page or being a clerk. So, what do you think?"
"Excuse me for interrupting, but I'd go with the clerk job. I had a blast the summer I clerked at the Piggly-Wiggly."
"Um, I'm sure you did but I was talking about being a LEGAL clerk."
"Oh, this was all on the up-and-up."
"Are you always this obtuse?"
"The cummerbund makes my waist look thick."
"Yeah, thick. That was the work I was searching for."
"Write it on your hand and you'll never forget it."
"My lovely volunteer."
"Sammie, you're amazing."
"Yeah. Now, I want to assure you that we've never met before. If you watch very closely, you'll notice that at no time does my hand actually leave her body."
"Kelly, my darling, you are my sunshine. When we're together, I feel fine. You're smile is so lovely, you're hair is so clean. You make me feel that the whole world is mine. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, K-E-L-L-Y. Why? Because you're Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly of mine."
"Guys, guys, I know I've accomplished some truly legendary feats in my day, but this... this is my masterpiece. This is my Moaning Lisa."
5 out of 5 Stars
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