Review: Probably the last great high school comedy in the tradition of "Weird Science", "American Pie" and "Fast Times at Ridgemont High". No movie in that genre has topped it since. It follows the day-long adventures of two best friends, Seth & Evan, who are trying to score alcohol for a party thrown that night by a popular girl at school. The movie is just full of their hilarious conversations as they prepare for the end of their senior year and their futures at separate colleges next year. Their nerdier friend, McLovin, almost steals the show after he spends the rest of the movie with two incompetent police officers when he buys alcohol with a new fake ID.
Quotes:
"You could always subscribe to a site like Perfect Ten. I mean that could be anything, it could be a bowling site."
"Yeah, but it doesn't actually show dick going in which is a huge concern."
"Right, I didn't realize that."
"Besides, have you ever seen a vagina by itself?"
"No.
[Shakes Head] "Not for me."
"Fuck, man! Tonight is a night that fucking is an actual possibility."
"You just sound like an idiot, you're not gonna be able to sleep with her, man."
"No... dude! I don't want to talk a lot of shit. OK. But she's gonna be at the party, and she's gonna be drunk, and she likes me at least a little, enough to get with me. At the very least, I'll make out with her. Two weeks, hand job. Month, blow job. Whatever, whatever. And then, I make her my girlfriend. And I've got like two solid months of sex. By the time college rolls around I'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vaj."
"You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have fucked that guy?' We could be that mistake!"
"Look at those nipples."
"They're like little baby toes. It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... and like, I have to hide every erection I get."
"Just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners and stuff, and just like wanted to see them. That's the world I one day I want to live in."
"You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it AND it feels awesome. I almost blew a load into my bellybutton."
"I got it; it is flawless. Check it!"
"Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait... you changed your name to... McLovin?"
"Yeah."
"McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be, an Irish R&B singer?"
"Naw, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there."
"And you landed on McLovin..."
"Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with their fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year old's do you think there are in this town? It's called fucking strategy, all right?"
"Stay calm, okay? Let's not lose our heads. It's... it's a fine ID. It'll... it's gonna work. It's passable, okay? This isn't terrible. I mean, it's up to you, Fogell. This guy is either gonna think 'Here's another kid with a fake ID' or 'Here's McLovin, a 25 year-old Hawaiian organ donor'. Okay? So what's it gonna be?"
"... I am McLovin."
"No you're not. No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed because that's a made up dumb FUCKING FAIRY TALE NAME, YOU FUCK!"
"Oh Evan, thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy. I never would've been able to handle your four inch dick inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube."
"I heard she got breast reduction surgery."
"What? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift."
"She had back problems, man. It's not just making them smaller. They completely reshaped them. They make them more supple, symmetrical."
"I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's make a move."
"How old are you McLovin?"
"Old enough."
"Old enough for what?"
"To party."
"Yeah, why don't you just wear what you wore to school?"
"No, I can't do that. I can't let Jules see me in what I wore to school. It's completely unbecoming. Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam!"
"Fogell, I don't understand why you we're smoking cigarettes with those cops."
"Because I fuckin' rule?"
“She wants to fuck me! She wants my dick in or around her mouth!”
"I am gonna give you the best Blow J ever... with my mouth."
5 out of 5 Stars
