Film: Leaving Las Vegas (1995)

Blu-Ray


Review: A gritty film showing a hard-core drunk spiraling around the drain. Nicholas Cage does a outstanding job showing Ben's final descent as he uses a severance check to finance his last days in Las Vegas while revealing small hints of the successful and charismatic man before alcohol took control. He finds a soul-mate in Elisabeth Shue's prostitute, but it is too late to change his fate harnessed to the extreme edge of addiction. It is Sera's reactions to Ben's sickness that elevate the film to it high level.

Quotes:
"I came here to drink myself to death."
"How long will it take you?"
"I'd say about three to four weeks."

"Are you desirable? Are you irresistible? Maybe if you drank bourbon with me, it would help. Maybe if you kissed me and I could taste the sting in your mouth it would help. If you drank bourbon with me naked. If you smelled of bourbon as you fucked me, it would help. It would increase my esteem for you. If you poured bourbon onto your naked body and said to me 'drink this'. If you spread your legs and you had bourbon dripping from your breasts and your pussy and said, 'drink here', then I could fall in love with you."

"Don't you think you'd get a little bored, living with a drunk?"
"Well... that's what I want."
"You haven't seen the worst of it. I knock things over... throw up all the time. These past few days I've been very controlled. You're like some sort of antidote that mixes with the liquor and keeps me in balance. But, that won't last forever."

"We both know that I'm a drunk. And I know you are a hooker. I hope you understand that I am a person who is totally at ease with that. Which is not to say that I'm indifferent or I don't care, I do. It simply means that I trust and accept your judgment."

"You can never, ever ask me to stop drinking. Do you understand"?
"I do. I really do."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Grumpy Old Men (1993)

Blu-Ray


Review: A perfect little film with great chemistry between the two comedic superstars, Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau. The winter setting perfectly complements the long-running cold war between two neighbors who have lived next to each other their entire lives. Their feud comes to a head when an attractive widow moves in across the street.

Quotes:
"I need something for my lumbago. The pain is killing me."
"Ah, it's killing you, my ass. He doesn't know the meaning of the word pain, Phil. I got a pinched sciatica that makes your lumbago look like eye strain."
"Pain. He wants to talk about pain. I had a gallstone the size of a baseball."
"Gallstones, yeah. Gallstones are for pussies. When I had the shingles, did you see me in here complaining to Phil? Did ya?"
"Shingles, schmingles. When I had my ulcers, I was... farting razor blades."

"Give me two packs of camels and a cup of your special coffee, you love muffin, you."
"You're supposed to be smoking filter cigarettes, Pop."
"Yeah, well, I'm 94 years old. What the hell do I care, huh? Oh, thank you, dear."

"Max, oh, he's just magnificent."
"Magnificient? He's a damn record-breaker. You've got a three-footer."
"Oh, Max. I can see the beauty in this now."
"Can you see it?"
"Yes, the lure. No, the fight."
"The fight! Wait till I show the guys!"
"The catch..."
"What a catch!"
"And then the release."
"The release!!! What release? There's no release."
"Oh, yes, it's beautiful."
"No, I'll tell you what's beautiful. This monster on my wall... stuffed."

"Who are these little guys?"
"Oh, ha. That's me and the moron."
"Max?"
"Of course it's Max. He's ugly, isn't he?"
"Ha, ha. Oh, you mean you were friends?"
"Well, I was 10. I didn't know any better."
"What can make two grown men spend most of their lives fighting each other?"
"Oh, guess."
"A woman."
"Uh, yeah."
"How romantic."

"It looks like Chuck is taking the skin boat to tuna town."
"Jesus, Dad!"

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Out for Justice (1991)

Blu-Ray


Review: Steven Seagal peaked with Under Siege but his earlier work created consistently great genre films. What raises this one is the intense acting by William Forsythe as the coked-up, short-tempered villain, Richie Madano, who terrifies and disgusts even his fellow criminals. The story takes place over one day as Seagal, the Brooklyn detective Gino, hunts down the cop-killer who wants to go out in a frenzy of violence.

Quotes:
"Why won't this man run?"
"You know, Vic. You never understood nothing about the neighborhood. Did you, huh?"
"No, I guess I never did."
"Let me tell you something. You kill a cop on 18th Avenue in front of a hundred witnesses, you're gonna die. The only difference is, this guy wants to die in his own neighborhood."

"Hey Vinnie! How you doing?"
"Officer Big Shot, come to bust my balls? This here is a detective! In what, Narcotics now?"
"That's right."
"Now I want you all to be very nice and tell this big fucking mamaluke over here anything he wants to know."
"Vinnie, come over here. Listen, you shouldn't talk to me that way because, like, you and I don't know each other so good. You were still sucking your thumb when your brother was going around town sucking dicks."

"The only balls he has is that badge and gun."
"Is that right? Let me show you something. Here's my gun! Fair game, now, okay? And here's my badge! This is your trophy. This is your trophy, okay?! Come and get it. Tell one of your fuckin citriolis to come and get it."
"I offer 5,000 for that badge, right now."

"Gino, you have not even told me what I've been arrested for."
"Let me see here. What could we do? Ah, how about 240.25?"
"What's that?"
"Prostitution, honey."
"Are you fucking kidding me?! Let me out of here right now, Gino!"
"I told you I was going to do this. Now, how's your memory? Who is Roxanne?"
"Gino, you're really starting to piss me off!"
"Jack, did you ever find this one over here on the street?"
"Many times."
"And how much was she?"
"10 bucks."
"Oh, ten bucks this, my friend! Fuck you, Gino!"

"After pop died... and the neighborhood kids wanted to go to Coney Island or something to play... one of the other fathers, Mr. Madano, used to slip me a little money so I could go play with the kids too. You know how I repayed Mr. Madano? You know how I thanked him tonight? I arrested him. Just so I could get to Richie. That's how crazy I am."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Avatar (2009)

Blu-Ray: Extended Edition


Review: I bought the Blu-Ray even before I had a HDTV because I knew I could only watch it again with a high quality display. It now looks amazing on my new TV. While pushing the limits of special effects, James Cameron still pays attention to the story. While some people complain that it was too simple or familiar, it is expertly-executed and paced. Zoe Saldana was great as Neytiri and brought the necessary emotion to give the film it's heart while Stephan Lang had the perfect blend of evil and humor as Colonel Quaritch. Sam Worthington brought the right excitement level as we experienced the new culture through his character, Jake Sully.

Quotes:
"You are not in Kansas anymore. You are on Pandora, ladies and gentlemen. Respect that fact every second of every day. If there is a Hell, you might wanna go there for some R&R after a tour on Pandora. Out there beyond that fence every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes. We have an indigenous population of humanoids called the Na'vi. They're fond of arrows dipped in a neurotoxin that will stop your heart in one minute - and they have bones reinforced with naturally occurring carbon fiber. They are very hard to kill. As head of security, it is my job to keep you alive. I will not succeed. Not with all of you."

"I'm gonna have to call it, guys. We're not allowed to run night ops. Colonel's orders. I'm sorry, Doc, he's just gonna have to hang on till morning."
"He won't make it till morning."

"Is the avatar safe?"
"Yeah, Doc, it's safe, and you are not gonna believe where I am!"

"Look, Sully, I want you to learn these savages from the inside, I want you to gain their trust. I need to know how to force their cooperation or hammer them hard if they won't."

"Ha, ha! That moron's going to die."
"Don't be afraid, warrior!"
"Make the bond."

"I came like this. This you. I turn."
"Yeah, yeah."
"I feel the wind. I turn very strong."
"Look, yeah, see, I banked so hard..."

"Tree of Souls. It's their most sacred place. See the Flux Vortex in these false color images?"
"Yeah, that's what messes up my instruments."
"There is something really interesting going on in their biologically. I would die to get samples. Outsiders are strictly forbidden. You lucky swine."

"You crossed the line. [PUNCH] Wheel this meat outta here..."

"You let me down son! So, you find yourself some local tail, and you just completely forget what team you're playin' for?"

"Shut your pie hole!"
"Or what, Ranger Rick? You gonna shoot me?"
"I can do that."
"You need to muzzle your dog."

"The Sky People have sent us a message... that they can take whatever they want. That no one can stop them. Well, we will send them a message. You ride out as fast as the wind can carry you. You tell the other clans to come. Tell them Toruk Macto calls to them! You fly now, with me! My brothers! Sisters! And we will show the Sky People... that they cannot take whatever they want! And that this... this is our land!"

"You're not the only one with a gun, bitch."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: United 93 (2006)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: I don't think a 9/11 movie will ever be made that is better than this one by Paul Greengrass. Even though everyone already knows the ending, it still slowly and expertly builds the tension until the final moment.

The events that took place inside United 93 actually only take up about a third of the story as the rest of the film follows the FAA officials, air-traffic controllers and the military struggling to track the unresponsive hijacked planes and react to their unexpected crashes into the World Trade Center and Pentagon. The standout is Ben Sliney, playing himself, as the FAA National Operation Manager who started his first day in the new postion on 9/11.

Quotes:
"All right, sir, we've got a small system in the Southwest. Nothing too big. Shouldn't be a big problem. Some low ceilings over San Francisco, nothing major. That system finally moved off to the East and we've got clear skies."
"Good. It'll be a good day on the East Coast."

"Everything okay?"
"Yeah."
"Good."
"Before we get started... Well, that was a possible hijack, American..."
"What?"
"Yeah."
"Hijack? Anybody remember..."
"Haven't seen that in years."
"Anybody remember when was the last time we had a hijack?"
"Yeah, I know. It's been quite a while."
"'91, '92?"
"I can't even remember precisely. No, no, It's Boston to LAX, American 11. They're on it and they're gonna keep me informed. I'll brief you."

"I don't know. I'll tell you what, that is not a small plane. No way."
"A Cessna would have bounced off that. Look at the size of that hole!"
"I've got a bad feeling about this. I'll tell you right now."

"All right, hold on. Hold on. I got a primary on the target."
"Where?"
"He's rapidly descending. Can you see that right right there? He's coming down quick, yeah. Can you see that?"
"Well, who is it?"
"I don't know."
"You see him out the window?"
"Is he out there?"
"Descending rapidly."
"No, there he is. There he is."
"Where?"
"Right there, over the Verrazano Bridge."
"Oh, yeah. Look how fast he's going."
"He's going right up the Hudson River Center. Oh, my God!"
"AHH! Jesus!! Shit!!"
"What?!! How does he do that?!"
"Did you see that? Did you see that, sir?"

"Cleveland just called. There's a United 93, the controller heard screams coming from the cockpit."
"Jesus!"
"Sounds like American 11. This is starting to look like a pattern."

"Hey, this is a suicide mission. We have to do something. They are not gonna land this plane. They are not gonna take us back to the airport. I don't think there's any other option we have."
"If we're gonna die, we're gonna die. They're flying us into a building. We're gonna die."
"We should not interfere with them."
"There's a lot of us but we got to do something. You see how low we are?"

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Zombieland (2009)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: Hilarious zombie road trip movie! I love Woody Harrelson in these type of roles. The slow motion opening credit sequence backed by Metallica's "For Whom the Bell Tolls" set up the movie perfectly. The survival rules concept popping up throughout the movie was a nice touch.

Quotes:
"Why am I alive when everyone around me has turned to meat? It's because of my list of rules. Rule number one for surviving Zombieland: Cardio. When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties. Poor fat bastard."

"So, Tallahassee, you wanna stick together. Least for a while?"
"Here's the deal, Columbus. Ah, I'm not easy to get along with and I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch so, ah, I give this relationship to about Texarkana."
"Really?! Yeah! You'll take me as far as Texarkana?"
"You're a peppy little spit-fuck, aren't you?"

"I haven't cried like that since Titanic."

"Oh, it's a '97"
"Yeah. Was that a good year?"
"Oh my God! It was a great year! Are you kidding me? I saw my first R-rated movie that year. Yeah, Anaconda."
"Ah, Anaconda."
"First tattoo, porpoise."
"Really?"
"Fake. First kiss... Scotty Lynch."
"You guys... used tongue?"
"Maybe. You jealous of Scotty Lynch?
"Yes, I am. Actually, I think I'm jealous of your whole 1997."

"My mamma always told me someday I'd be good at something. Who'd have guessed the something would be zombie killing?"
"Probably nobody."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Rambo III (1988)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


Review: The Soviet Union's invasion of Afghanistan is considered their version of the Vietnam War so it is fitting that Rambo joins the fight to rescue his captured friend, Col. Trautman. I think Rambo III is slightly better than the second and a source for much of the hilarious parody in "Hot Shots! Part Duex".

This film is an interesting companion piece to the excellent "Charlie Wilson's War". It is sad that the Mujahideen protrayed so sympathetically in these two films would squander their victory over the Russians by embarking on a destructive civil war that didn't end until the Taliban took power.

Quotes:
"Rambo, something went wrong."
"What happened?"
"Soviets intercepted the team just over the border. From what we gathered, Trautman and the rest of his party have been taken to a regional command post."
"What are you doing about it?"
"We can't do anything about it. I'm sorry. I just thought you should have known."

"You don't look like you are with the military."
"I'm not."
"What you are, mercenary?"
"No."
"You are not with the military, you are not mercenary. What are you? Lost tourist?"
"I'm no tourist."

"This is Afghanistan. Alexander the Great tried to conquer this country. Then Genghis-Khan, then the British. Now Russia, but the Afghan people fight hard. They never be defeated. Ancient enemy make a prayer about these people. Do you wish to hear?"
"Mmm-hhm."
"Very good. It says, may God deliver us from the venom of the cobra, the teeth of the tiger and the vengeance of the Afghan. Do you understand what this means?"
"That you guys don't take any shit."
"Yes, something like this."

"How's the wound?"
"You taught us to ignore pain, didn't ya?"
"Is it working?"
"Not really."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Sunshine (2007)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: Like almost all of Danny Boyle's movies, this great film has a weaker final act. It takes the thrill and intensity of surviving a journey toward the sun and turns it into a slasher horror at the end. The intense heat of the sun, the freezing vacuum of space and the dangers of human error and emotion used during the majority of the film were more effective and believable obstacles to the mission's success. Still, the last act only removes a half star from my rating.

SPOILER ALERT: The concept of the Captain of Icarus I going insane is not bad, but they should have kept him off the Icarus II. Let the failure of Icarus I just remain a mystery for the second crew to solve.

Quotes:
"Kaneda, Searle, report to flight deck."
"What's up?"
"We have an excess of manliness breaking out in the comm center."

"Icarus, how close is this to full brightness?
"At this distance of 36 million miles, you are observing the sun at two percent of full brightness."
"Two percent? Can you show me four percent?"
"Four percent would result in irreversible damage to your retinas."

"The question is: Does the risk of the detour outweigh the benefits of an extra payload?"
"We'll have a vote."
"No, no. No, we won't. We're not a democracy. We're a collection of astronauts and scientists. So we're gonna make the most informed decision available to us."
"Made by you by any chance?"
"Made be the person best qualified to understand the complexities of the payload delivery: our physicist."
"Shit."

"In order to change the route, I had to manually override Icarus. So I made all the calculations myself, and I double- and triple-checked them. They all worked out. So I set the new coordinateness and put us on our way."
"So what's the problem? The trajectory is wrong?"
"The trajectory is good. But it changes our angle of approach to the sun by 1.1 degrees."
"You didn't reset the shields to the new angle."
"I forgot. My head was so full of velocities and fuel calculations and a million different... I FORGOT!!! ALL RIGHT?! People do shit. They get stressed and... and fuck up. I fucked up."

"We should split up."
"I'm not sure that's such a good idea..."
"You're probably right. We might get picked off one at a time by aliens."

"With Searle and Harvey gone, we lost two breathers. We have enough oxygen for four crew to make it to the payload delivery point."
"So we'll do it."
"I'll do it. I'm not passing any bucks."
"Well, then..."
"We'll vote this time. Unanimous decision required. Well, you know where I stand."
"And me."
"What are you asking? That we weigh the life of one man versus the future of all mankind? Kill him."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: That '70s Show - 2nd Season (1999-2000)

DVD: 4 Discs


Review: This was the season where Eric and Donna finally do it and Michael and Jackie break up. Tommy Chong joined the cast this year as Hyde's boss at the photomat. Some of the best episodes are "Vanstock", "Hunting", & "Parents Find Out".

Quotes:
"You moron, a girl movie is a make-out movie."
""Well, then, I'm in."
"Me too. I will come and watch."

"Wait, Fez, what are you doing?"
"You're a dead man!!"
"Could I have avoided this? Let's review. First, Jackie said I was funny. Next, she ate popcorn from my groin. Then, I sucked her face. Nope, it was meant to be."

"Guy, guys, this thing is like a bedroom on wheels. No more, Michael, the backseat is too small. Michael, you're on my hair. Michael, your choking me. That's over!"

"Okay, that's it. You must let me in."
"Why?"
"Because I feel the hot rhythm of disco burning in my loins. Watch."
"Okay, you're in."
"So long, Losers!"

"Excuse me. May I please have a hickey, please."
"No."
"Please?"
"No!"
"Jackie?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No!"
"So... the two of you do things to please your man. Well, Fez is a man. Why will you not please him? Why?"
"Jackie, just give him a hickey!"
"I'm leaving!"

"You mean, you were in his bed and he didn't whine and beg for, like, two hours until you were so sick of hearing his stupid voice that you just gave in so he would shut up?"
"No."

"This way there will be even more things to remind you of me. Don't you like thinking of me?"
"No, of course I do. The thing is... How can I say this without hurting your feelings? Oh, okay. I don't want your stupid things in my cool van."

"Donna wouldn't even talk to me. She just kept sticking her tongue down my throat."
"Oh, boo hoo, Forman. You get to fool around with a totally hot chick and never have to talk about her feelings. You poor French-kissing bastard."
"Yeah, Hyde's right. One time I asked Jackie what was wrong and she didn't shut up for, like, three straight days."

"You really think I've been yelling at you for 17 years?"
"No... You were probably okay with me as an infant. I just can't remember."
"Boy, it was right around thirteen when you started gettin' a little lippy... and twitchy."

"Ever since I threatened to tell Jackie about the two of us, you've seemed distant."
"Laurie, that's just crazy. All right? You blackmailing me... It's just brought us closer together."

"It was great. It just wasn't what I expected. I don't think we did it right."
"So, Eric's not good?"
"It was more like... like neither of us were good."
"Donna, it's not up to the woman to be good."

"How come you never go to church?"
"Eric... God and I had a heart-to-heart while I watched my destroyer go down in the South Pacific. We're real good... You're not. Go!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Toy Soldiers (1991)

DVD: Full Screen - 1:33


Review: After a Columbian drug lord is extradiated to the US, his son takes an American Prep School hostage in order to free his father. It is a fun tightly-paced film with Sean Astin as the school troublemaker who leads the other students against the terrorists. Louis Gossett, Jr. is excellent as the Dean, walking the fine line between authoritative and sympathetic. I wish they would release this movie in the original widescreen.

Quotes:
"Lights out, boys!"
"Eat shit, Mr. Peterson!!!!"

"I'm not going to expel you. Three schools have done that and it's obviously done nothing for your character... Are you listening to me?!"
"Yes, sir."
"I'm going to do much worse. I am going to keep you here until you graduate. It'll probably take years at this rate."
"I might wear you out before then."
"Don't you worry about wearing me out. I'm going to wear you out."

"Is he a friend of yours?"
"Yes, he is."
"Well, tell your friend he's lucky I didn't shoot him. What's your name?"
"William Tepper."
"What does your father do, William?"
"He's a contractor."
"According to this, he owns the third largest construction company in the world."
"Yeah, he's a contractor."
"You're not afraid of me. Hmm?"
"Yes, I'm afraid."
"Good. Don't fuck with me."

"We have a shot at a successful assault here. We know the location of every terrorist. The kid can get the other students out of the line of fire."
"What kid? This kid has been kicked out of two schools."
"No, three schools."
"Three schools. Come on. All this is unreliable."
"That's not really true. I may not rely on Billy to get to class on time, but I would rely on this."
"Why?"
"Because he's got guts. He's a leader. You can see that he's thought this thing through. Now, if Billy says he can do it, I gotta believe he can."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Once (2006)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: A modern musical about a street musician and an immigrant girl from the Czech Republic who bond over music in Dublin, Ireland. It's a simple story supported by a strong collection of songs. Their first duet in the music shop was amazing and a deserving winner for the Best Song Oscar.

Quotes:
"How come you don't play this song during daytime? I see you everyday."
"You know, during the day, people want to hear songs they know, just songs that they recognize. I mean, otherwise, I wouldn't make any money. I play these song at night. They wouldn't listen."
"I listen."
"Yeah, but you gave me ten cent."

"Good to meet ya. We've got a few little bits and pieces to set up. I want to check the drums inside."
"We've already set up the kit."
"Yeah, I just want to, you know, check them for sound."
"I checked them already. It's fine."
"Okay, we need to set up mics on them for recording, yeah?"
"Oh."

"I think it's time we did the, uh, car test."
"What's the car test, Eamon?"
"We've been listening back on these big studio speakers. So it's time we had a go on some shitty speakers. So... Let's go for a spin and have a listen in me car."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Paradise (1982)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: This is a "Blue Lagoon" clone that takes place in the Arabian desert, but I think this is better film because Phoebe Cates is a much more talented actress than Brooke Shields and I am a fan of Willie Aames from "Charles in Charge." While Phoebe is famous for her topless scene in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" that came out the same year, that was nothing compared to the amount of skin she shows here in her first film.

Quotes:
"Al Aziz, I delivered them into your hands as agreed. I demand my payment."
"Payment? For what? The girl escaped. There is little else of value."
"You have captured many women, Al Aziz. They will bring you a good price. One less will not make you a poor man."
"The English girl will not be for sale. She's for me."

"We shouldn't be looking at this."
"Why not?"
"Could be a sin."
"But their beautiful. How could looking at something so beautiful be a sin?"
"My father said it was wrong to look upon nakedness."
"Well, this is a book for doctors. Doctors have to look at you with no clothes on."
"The doctors have no clothes on?"
"Ha! No! You have no clothes on. Doctor's dressed."

"We'll look again tomorrow. The girl can not be far away."
"Lying English! Who would think that he would send us on a false trail."
"Indeed. He died more braver than I thought."

"I couldn't believe it. I looked up and this ugly woman comes in and I thought, 'Oh God, not another one!' And it was you. You were fantastic."

3 out of 5 Stars

Film: If Looks Could Kill (1991)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


Review: Preposterous plot, but well-crafted fun. A lot of films like this age very badly, but this has stayed as entertaining as the first time I saw it. Richard Grieco plays a high school student who goes on a trip to Europe with his French class and is confused for a secret agent with the same name on his flight. It's a witty James Bond spoof that reminds me alot of the film, Gotcha. A favorite gag is the rotating drivers who take turns trying to capture the students' bus, believing them to be mercenaries.

Quotes:
"I'm real sorry. I don't know what to say, you know."
"You don't know what to say? I'll tell you what to say. How about, sorry Mom and Dad, I would have liked to graduate high school, but I couldn't really fit it into my dating and partying schedule, huh? Or how about, sorry, I was too busy doing jack-shit instead of going to my French class!"

"Oh no, not French. Uh look, parlez vous English?"
"Monsieur, what I said is, you look like a piece of horribly scented American dogshit. Change your clothes!"

"I want out, Richardson, got it? That tux with the BO Blasters was real cute, just gassed three people, probably killed them."
"Ha, ha, ha. No such luck, Corben. They'll wake up in an hour or two with a hell of a headache. That's all."
"Richardson, this is not my idea of a good time."
"What were you expecting, Corben?"
"At the moment, I was expecting to be cramped into a cheap hotel room in Paris, probably holding a farting contest with my roommates."

"Put that on. Your having dinner with Steranko in 10 minutes."
"Jerk! If he thinks I'm going to put on this Army Surplus reject, he's out of his mind. It's not my style."
"Michael, Number 1, this is a very nice Armani suit. Number 2, you have no style."

"Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
"No, Corben's here."
"That's what I mean!"

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Rocky Balboa (2006)

DVD: Anamorphic


Review: This is an amazing final sequel for the Rocky films. I think without the television success of Sylvestor's entertaining boxing show, The Contender, this movie would never have been made. Stallone understands this role better than any other and it shows in the great writing as Rocky struggles after the death of his wife. Burt Young brings great pathos and comic relief as Paulie. The best part about this movie is that it washes out the bad taste of Rocky V. Now you can pretend that chapter never existed.

Quotes:
"Time goes by too fast."
"Not fast enough."

"What's the matter with you, Paulie?"
"You're living backwards, Rocko! Change the channel from yesterday! Yesterday wasn't so great!"
"It was to me."
"Not to me!"
"You treated her good. You had the good times. I treated her bad. I don't have to think about this."
"She always loved you, Paulie."
"Sorry, Rocko, I can't do this no more."

"Hey, come on. We're about to serve today's special."
"Italian food cooked up by a bunch of Mexicans ain't so special, Rocko."

"So you nervous about the fight?"
"Scared to death."
"You don't look scared."
"Well, I ain't supposed to."
"Then you don't have to do it."
"Yeah, well, I think I do."

"You know all there is to know about fighting, so there's no sense us going down that same old road again. To beat this guy, you need speed - you don't have it. And your knees can't take the pounding, so hard running is out. And you got arthritis in your neck, and you've got calcium deposits on most of your joints, so sparring is out."
"I had that problem."
"So, what we'll be calling on is good ol' fashion blunt force trauma. Horsepower. Heavy-duty, cast-iron, piledriving punches that will have to hurt so much they'll rattle his ancestors. Every time you hit him with a shot, it's gotta feel like he tried kissing the express train. Yeah! Let's start building some hurtin' bombs!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Demolition Man (1993)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"We're police officers! We're not trained to handle this kind of violence!"

Review: This Sylvester Stallone action film has aged a bit, but it is still fun. He plays a wrongly-convicted badass cop who is unfrozen in a more peaceful, but naive future after a violent criminal from his time has escaped from the cryo-prison. It is a fish-out-of-water tale as he struggles against the new cultural norms while trying to recapture Wesley Snipes with his old school methods. I would only give it three stars now, but I am adding a forth for how much I enjoyed it when it came out.

"You are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute."
"What? Fuck you!"
"Your repeated violation of the Verbal Morality Statute has caused me to notify the San Angeles Police Department. Please remain where you are for your reprimand."
"Yeah, right."

"While you were sleeping, everyone in the city was installed code. Sensors all over the city can zero in on anyone at any time. I can't even conceive a visual of what you police officers did before it was developed."
"We worked for a living. This fascist crap makes me want to puke."

"I thought you wanted to make love?"
"Is that what you call this?!"
"Vir-sex has been proven to produce high orders of alpha waves during digitized transference of sexual energies."
"Look, Huxley, let's say we just do it the old-fashioned way?"
"Eeewww, disgusting! You mean... fluid transfer?"

"Now, I'll have carte blanche to create the perfect society. My society. San Angeles will be a beacon of order with the purity of an ant colony and the beauty of a flawless pearl."
"Look, you can't take away people's right to be assholes."
"Hmm?"
"That's who you remind me of: an evil Mr. Rogers! Will you please kill him? He's pissing me off!"

"Let's go blow this guy."
"Away! Blow this guy away!"
"Whatever."
"Hmm, she's got a way with words!"

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: The Job - Complete Series (2001-2002)

DVD: 4 Discs (Full Screen for 1st Season & Anamorphic Widescreen for 2nd Season)


"Oh, I can't wait to see the headline in tomorrow's New York Post, Copper Crapper Caper... I got to write that down."
"I got another one, Cop held Craptive, Hostage Drama Flushed with Danger."

Review: Denis Leary plays almost the same exact character in "The Job" as he does in the more successful, "Rescue Me", except he is a NYPD Detective instead of a fireman. I prefer the 30 minute format of this show to the other, it is tighter and funnier with a better surrounding cast. I knew this was going to be a great show after the third episode, Bathroom. Too bad, it was cancelled after two seasons.

"How would she know what I do? Unless, of course, you tell her."
"You know how it is?"
"No, I don't, Pip. No, I don't. Okay, we're partners. Besides, we're men. Men are supposed to be able to share information with other men without stuff leaking to the enemy. That's what you're doing, leaking stuff to the enemy."
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are! Your wife was just here! My wife doesn't even know where this building is. You know what you need to do? You need to go home and get your balls out of her purse, or where ever the hell she keeps them. Slap them back on and start screaming bloody murder. That's what you need to do!"

"What's she having dinner with you for? I hear she's dating Jason Laramie."
"Who?"
"He's a model. Does underwear ads. There's one where he's under a cliff with a speargun. Another one, he's up on a ship, splashing himself with water. See him all the time in magazines, like InStyle..."
"You read InStyle Magazine?"
"...No."

"What'd I tell you? I told you he was bad. Strike 1, he's a lawyer. Strike 2, he's spent time in rehab. Strike 3, get this, he's married. Can you believe this guy? Married?"
"Well, let's see. My married partner just got off the phone with his girlfriend. Now he's upset she couldn't score the Tylenol laced with Codeine. No, I don't believe that guy!"
"Hey, totally different situation, man, totally different!!"

"So did you call public morals?"
"No, no, I'm not calling them. This is not a crime. This is a miracle."
"I'm going to go over there right now. Cover for me."
"Second Floor. Her name's Diane."

"What's up?"
"Some woman over on Madison Avenue causing a public disturbance, she's out on the sidewalk screaming at people."
"Be nice to her. That could be my mother. She's been in some mood lately."

"So, how do I look?"
"Very convincing."
"What do you mean, very convincing?"
"You're going undercover as a hooker, right?"
"No! I'm going out on a date."
"Oh, you look very nice."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the horses are on the track."
"Oh, what a beauty! Great legs. Nice cans!"
"Cans? Our horse has cans?"
"No, the blonde in the tube top."
"Frank, what does our horse look like?"
"Oh right, right. Oh, like she's ready to print us money!"

"Let me tell you something! Don't you ever, ever, mess with a black man's shrimp. Shrimp means power, wealth, success. Damn!"
"I'm sorry, man. I didn't know."
"Shrimp is the black man's lobster."
"Why isn't lobster, the black man's lobster?"
"Because lobster is the white man's lobster. We want our own damn lobster! Get out of my sight!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Nowhere to Run (1993)

DVD: Fullscreen - 1:33


"I'm not too optimistic about our young friend's success. Some of these landowners can be hard nuts to crack."
"Then we use a hammer."

Review: This one reminds me of Road House, another well-made B movie. I think it is Jean-Claude Van Damme's best film outside of "Bloodsport" & "Kickboxer". He's supported with a good script and high production values. It's got two good villians in the actors who played the cross-dressing serial killer in "Silence of the Lambs" and the nasty South African diplomat in "Lethal Weapon 2".

"Get out of the truck."
"You're scaring my children!!"
"Get out of the truck!!"
"Leave them alone."
"Who the hell are you?"
"I'm the parking attendant and you're bothering my customers."

"Astonishing, isn't it? One little woman in the middle of a wheat field. And what is she doing? She's fucking us up."

"Don't get caught, you understand?"
"I thought the local law was taken care of."
"Yeah, he's been paid, but I'm not sure he's bought."

"Au revoir, fucker."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Hot Rod (2007)

DVD: Enhanced 16:9


"All great men have mustaches!"
"Yeah, but real men actually grow them."
"You know I have a hormone disorder!!!"

Review: A fun, silly movie that cracks me up every time. Rod is an amateur stuntman trying to follow in the footsteps of his dead father. When he finds out his step-father, Frank, is dying of a bad heart, he organizes a daredevil jump to raise money for the transplant operation.

"I needed to think about last night. So I galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch-dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely long and very painful fall, I realized what has to be done."

"Frank, I'm going to get you better, you old sack of shit, and then I'm going to uncork the ass beating of a lifetime on you! And you will respect me! Peace!"

"Hey, Denise, have I ever shown you a picture of my dead dad?"
"No."
"Oh, you've gotta see it. He's super dead."
"That's him? He looks so nice. He was a stuntman?"
"Oh, yeah. He used to work for Evel Knievel, testing his bikes before big jumps. He would do the jumps first to make sure they were safe and let Evel come in and get all the glory. After a while the old man said, 'To hell with that. I want the credit I deserve' So one afternoon, he set out to jump ten milk trucks. He nailed the take-off, but when he landed, something terrible happened. His front tire exploded like a cannonball, and his handle bars went straight through his head. Blood was everywhere. His teeth were ground down to a powder, and the front of his face exploded out the back of his skull. He died instantly... the next day."

"Tai Chi teaches that if you focus your body and mind you'll be able to perform at the peak of your abilities."
"Yes, Sensei."
"You don't have to call me sensei, Rod."
"Got it. Sensei, I have a question: Is there a Tai Chi move that would make a grown man crap his pants and not know why?"
"I'm not gonna lie to you, Rod. That move does exist. But you're not ready for it yet."
"As you wish, Sensei."
"Now, we take the ball and we push the ball away."
"Yeah, we could. Or you could cut the kiddie stuff and show me the crap-yourself move."
"Hi! Hi!! Hi!!! Yah, Yah!! YAAAAH!!!"
"That didn't work! Ha, ha! Anyways, I'm gonna get going, so, take it easy. I'm gonna go see what Frank's doing."
"You wanted me to show you, Rod."
"Yeah, I did want you to show me, and you didn't, 'cause it didn't work. So now I'm gonna go, 'cause there's nothing left for me to learn. Thank you, though, for trying. That was very nice of you to try."

4 1/2 Stars out of 5

Film: This Is It (2009)

DVD: Anamorphic

"Let it simmer."

Review: I am so glad I went and saw this. I had been skeptical about seeing it, but when Michael Jackson is on a stage, he is still mesmerizing. Even at 50, he had the moves and the voice. Watching the rehearsal footage really shows a master perfecting his craft and I found myself smiling throughout the entire film. I only wish Dirty Diana had been one of the songs included in the film.

"Just a little drag, a little bit more behind the beat."
"Yeah. It's not the right sound."
"Like you're dragging yourself out of bed."

"We're sizzling. He's waiting for my point, it's coming."
"Michael, I was telling them to start when you turn towards the audience."
"Oh no, I wanna turn first, face the audience with nothing, nothing."
"Okay, Okay."
"And then when he gets my cue, then we go."
"The only thing is... how will you see the video change from the marquee to the city?"
"I gotta feel that. I'll feel it... the screen behind me."

5 out of 5 Stars