"I do run this joint, and I work just as hard as you do, maybe harder. I do. Sortin', arrangin', sellin'. Coordinate. That's what I do. I coordinate here. I coordinate everything in here."
Review: This 1st season hit it's stride right near the beginning. Very funny.
"Pop, you ain't even dressed! Ain't you gonna cook breakfast?"
"I ain't cooking nothing. I'm retired."
"Retired?"
"Yeah, I applied for Social Security. And you know how much I'll be getting? They pay high as $213.10. That's enough for me to retire. I ain't doin' nothing for you and nobody else. You're lookin' at a man of leisure."
"I don't understand it, Pop. She was so sweet."
"Yeah, sweet before the wedding. Then after the wedding, she'd be just like her mama. King Kong in bloomers.
"Hazel, how would like one across your lip? You know, I don't mind givin' a lady one across the lip."
"And that'll be the last time you give somethin' across the lips."
"No, it won't."
"Oh yes, it will."
"If I hit you in the mouth, I bet your lips get to the hospital before the ambulance."
"No, they won't"
"Listen, I fought heavyweights before, you know."
"A bible? Pop, you stole a Bible? We got a Bible upstairs. You don't need this."
"Well, we'll use this one downstairs. That way we'll have full coverage."
"Pop, it says right here in this book, Thou shall not steal."
"And it also says in this book, The meek shall inherit the earth. So you got to start somewhere."
"Every time I bring some chick home, you find some way of lousin' it up."
"You know that's not true. When you bring a girl home I go upstairs or go in the kitchen and shut the door."
"Yeah, with your eyeball pressed up against the keyhole."
"Are you kidding? I wouldn't waste my time with an amateur like you. I can see more sex on the 6 o'clock news."
"Well, if I am an amateur, it's 'cause I never get no practice. You're always in the way, Pop."
"I don't understand you kids today. If I'd talk to my father like you talk to me, you know what he'd have done?"
"Yeah, he'd have given you one across the lip."
"That's right, and continue on down from there. When he whipped, he whipped from the lips to the hips."
"Look at this trash."
"Trash? This is good. This is aluminum."
"Alulimum? That's nothing but old pot metal. Ain't worth nothing. How long have you been with me now, Lamont?"
"What do you mean, how long have I been with you? Since I was born."
"Has it been that long?"
"Well, no, I didn't mean to call you no clucking duck. What I meant was, like a cackling hen. No, Donna, wait a minute, honey. Don't cry. Don't cry, please."
4 1/2 out of 5 Stars
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