Film: Beowulf (2007)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"I am Beowulf and I'm here to kill your monster."

Review: This was my first 3D movie where the effect really impressed me and felt like a game-changing experience. The story was simple and effective, but the immersion of the 3D gave the movie a whole new dimension, literally. Beowulf's battle with the dragon near the end was mind-blowing. I hope the dragon, Smaug, in the upcoming Hobbit movie is this good.

"How many monsters must I slay? Grendel's mother, father, Grendel's uncle? Must I hack down a whole family tree of demons?"
"She is the last of them. With her gone, demonkind will slip back into the darkness from whence it came."

"The time of heroes is dead. The christ god has killed it, leaving nothing but weeping martyrs and fear and shame."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Iron Will (1994)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"Trust the dogs."

Review: This movie is a bit too formulaic and the dialogue is on-the-nose at times, but that is expected for a Disney movie aimed at children. It is at it's best when it is concentrating on the dogsled race and the harsh conditions they faced. I liked how they were able to make the dogsled a more active object than I expected, jumping and cornering like a skateboard or BMX bike.

"The first few days you sleep five hours. Then four, then three, then two. The last day you don't sleep. You just run. Run till the end."

"You're prepared to risk this young man's life to sell some newspapers?"

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Pinocchio (1940)

DVD: OAR Full Frame


"Cricket's the name. Jiminy Cricket!"

Review: This is a classic Disney film with great songs and amazing animation of the wooden puppet, Pinocchio, who tries to become a real boy. The second act on Pleasure Island is well-told and intense, scaring me as a child. The whole ocean sequence with Monstro the whale is a powerful tour de force, a visual and emotional climax for the movie.

"Now, remember, Pinocchio, be a good boy. And always let your conscience be your guide."

"Father, what are you crying for?"
"Because you're dead, Pinocchio."
"No! No, I'm not."
"Yes. Yes, you are. Lie down."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Zathura (2005)

DVD: Anamorphic


"That's your robot?"
"At least I got one."
"Well, what does it do?"
"Anything I want... Get me a juice box, Beeyatch!"

Review: Jon Favreau has shown his talent for Directing once again. He has a great sense on how to tell a story and keep the most fantastical elements grounded in reality. This is a film of two brothers who start playing an old board game they find in the basement, sending their house into outer space. Each turn brings more excitement and danger from robots or aliens as they discover the only way to get home is to finish the game.

"I hate to break it to you, but that's not your call. He spun me, so it's up to him."
"Well, I'm Fleet Admiral, and I'm telling you to hit the road."
"I apologize, sir. I didn't... I didn't realize you were a Fleet Admiral. In fact, I... I'm a Fleet Admiral too! It's just a card, bug nuts."

"Still think I have gorgeous eyes?"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Munich (2005)

DVD: Anamorphic


"You'll open two accounts at the Union de Banques Suisse in Geneva on Rue du Commerce. Operational funds in one box, in the other your salary which you don't take till the mission ends when you get what accumulates. Also, for each of your men, you open an account for his salary."
"How many men do I have for this?"
"IN THE operational funds box we will deposit 250,000 American dollars. You take it out, we put more in. I WANT receipts. You are not working for the Baron Rothschild. You're working for Israel, a small country."

Review: After the death of the Israeli hostages during the Olympic Games in Munich, Israel sent a team of assassins to track down and kill the leaders of the terrorist group in Europe. This is an excellent suspense film of the team's efforts led by the excellent Eric Bana and includes the pre-Bond Daniel Craig. The tension builds as the early successes become harder to duplicate and the team itself becomes the target of reprisal attacks.

"I knew guys like you in the army. You do any terrifying thing you're asked to do, but you have to do it running. You think you can outrun your fears, your doubts. The only thing that really scares you guys is stillness."

"Don't fuck with the Jews."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Planet Earth (2006)

Review: A nature documentary that gives an excellent overview of the many ecosystems throughout Planet Earth. Filmed with High Definition cameras, the visuals are spectacular. Some of my favorite episodes are Mountains, Fresh Water and Jungles.

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Zoolander (2001)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"I guess the look I'm best known for is Blue Steel. And then there's Ferrari and Le Tigre. Le Tigre's a lot softer. It's a little bit more of a catalog look."

Review: This is a spoof movie of the fashion industry with great lines and lots of funny cameos. Ben Stiller plays a top male model who is brain-washed in an attempt to kill the new leader of Malaysia who wants to eliminate child labor.

"It's that damn Hansel! He's so hot right now!"

"Did you ever think that maybe there's more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking?"

"I think Katinka wants to kill you."
"Good! I deserve to die if I can't even beat Han-suck-ass in a walk off."
"Derek, that's not true. The guy had to miraculously pull his underwear out of his butt just to beat you."
"And all he had to do was turn left."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008)

DVD: Anamorphic


"I never worked at a pretzel stand. You like to insult people?"
"Was that your feet?"
"Yes, it's the feet. The feet uppercut... Here comes the double foot. This is good. Smell it, smell it, smell it. Now take it. That's for you."
"Aaaah! All right, let me go!!"

Review: I was very surprised. I loved this movie as much as I normally hate Adam Sandler movies. I think it is because of the help from Judd Apatow and Robert Smigel in writing the script. Also, Adam Sandler really became Zohan, an Israeli super soldier who moves to New York to become a hairdresser, instead of playing just another version of himself like in most of his movies.

"She has a free shoulder. Come join."
"I'm good."
"Mrs. Haynes, you're getting cold here. Claude, come. Keep her warm. Go ahead. Yes. And gently move. Gently move the shoulder. All you want to do is let her know you're here for her. Now look away like you're not even doing it. We're not doing this... Same rhythm."
"Okay."
"Push. Push. Push. Oh, you're pushing harder. It's starting to feel good on my end."

"Get out of here, Ahab, or I'll cut your eyes out."
"What you cut my eyes out with?"
"My blade, camel jockey."
"My friend, the beating I give you if you stop the spraying is much less than the beating I give you if you try to cut me."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Dances with Wolves (1990)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9 - Double-Sided


"You wish to see the frontier?"
"Yes sir, before it's gone."

Review: This is an amazing movie that shows the last years of the Sioux Indians before they were moved onto reservations. The film follows a Civil War soldier who finds himself posted to an isolated and abandoned army fort far out in the prairie where he comes in contact with a nearby tribe. Graham Greene is great as Kicking Bird, the medicine man who befriends the soldier.

"I am in agreement with Kicking Bird. We will go down and talk to the white man. And find out why he is here."
"If this council decides to talk to the white man then it will be so. But in my mind, it's not right that a chief as great as Ten Bears goes to ask the business of a puny, trespassing white man who has only a smart horse and a few white man's clothes."
"I will not go. You will go. And you will go. That is all I have to say."

"Dances With Wolves! I am Wind In His Hair! Do you see that I am your friend? Can you see that you will always be my friend?"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Amistad (1997)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Well when I was an attorney, a long time ago, young man, I err... I realized after much trial and error, that in the courtroom, whoever tells the best story wins. In unlawyer-like fashion, I give you that scrap of wisdom free of charge."

Review: I always like well-made courtroom dramas and this one goes all the way up to the Supreme Court. A group of African slaves revolt and take over their slave ship but are soon captured by the American Navy. At a unique time when slavery was still legal in America but the transport of new slaves across the Atlantic was not, they were able to win their freedom in court.

"If only we could corroborate Cinque's story somehow with evidence of some kind."
"The inventory. If you look, there's a notation made on May tenth, correcting the number of slaves on board, reducing their number by fifty."
"What does that mean?"
"Well, if you look at it in conjunction with Cinque's testimony, I would say that it means this: The Tecora crew have greatly underestimated the amount of provisions required for their journey, and solved the problem by throwing fifty people overboard."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Almost Famous (2000)

DVD: Anamorphic


"I really love your band. I think the song 'Fever Dog' is a big step forward for you guys. I think you guys producing it yourselves, instead of Glyn Johns, was the right thing to do. And the guitar sound... is incendiary. Incendiary. Way to go."
"Well, don't stop there!"
"Yeah, come back here! I'm incendiary too, man!"

Review: A great road trip movie about a young writer on tour with an up-and-coming rock band in the early 70s. He tries to keep his professional distance, but is pulled into the band's conflicts as he becomes their friend and falls in love with one of the band's followers.

"I can't say anymore with the writer here."
"No, no, no. You can trust him, you can say whatever you want."
"I work just as hard or harder than anybody on that stage. You know what I do? I connect. I get people off. I look for the guy who isn't getting off, and I make him get off... Actually, THAT you can print!"

"Oh man, you made friends with 'em. See, friendship is the booze they feed you. They want you to get drunk on feeling like you belong."
"Well, it was fun."
"Because they make you feel cool, and hey, I met you. You are NOT cool."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: Blood Diamond (2006)

DVD: Enhanced 16:9


"You listening to this? The world is falling apart, and all we hear about is Blowjobgate."
"When was the last time the world wasn't falling apart, huh?"
"Ah, a cynic. Why don't you sit down and make me miserable?"

Review: This is an outstanding film about conflict diamonds in Africa. What is great about the story is that it shows all sides of the issue without getting preachy. This is one of Leo's best roles as an amoral diamond smuggler who keeps you in the dark about his intentions all the way to the end. Great writing and excellent action sequences round it out.

"Peace Corps types only stay around long enough to realize they're not helping anyone. Government only wants to stay in power until they've stolen enough to go into exile somewhere else. And the rebels, they're not sure they want to take over. Otherwise, they'd have to govern this mess. But T.I.A., right?"
"What's T.I.A.?"
"This Is Africa."

"What do you want from me, huh?"
"You know all about Van De Kaap. Help me out. Off the record."
"Well, off the record, I like to get kissed before I get fucked."

"I understand white people want our diamonds, yes. But how can my own people do this to each other? I know good people who say there is something wrong with us... inside our black skin. That we were better off when the white man ruled. But my son is good. And when he grows up.. and peace comes... this place will be a paradise."
"We'll get your son back, huh?"

"I thought you would steal it from me."
"Yeah, yeah, it occurred to me, huh?"

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Can't Hardly Wait (1998)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Damn, woman. Why you gotta be such a raging bitch?"
"Oh, please. Listen to you. Look, there's a mirror right there. Why don't you take a look, okay? You're white."
"What's that supposed to mean? I don't always talk like that."

Review: A better than average teen flick that occurs over one night at a graduation party. Jennifer Love Hewitt is very cute and Seth Green is funny as the white homeboy who gets trapped in the bathroom.

"I thought college was gonna be a 24-7 orgy. Hell, that's even why I broke up with Janeen before I left."
"S-so, what happened?"
"College chicks are totally different, bro. They're all serious and shit. They all talk about world issues and 'ecolomological' crap. They all wanna date older guys."

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Ben-Hur (1959)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9

Review: This is a outstanding timeless epic that I think is actually better than "The Ten Commandments". This is the story of Prince Judah Ben-Hur who is sent to row in the galleys and his family to prison after he falls out with his childhood friend who leads the Roman Army in Jerusalem.

Quotes:
"You want my advice?"
"Yes, I do."
"Withdraw your legions. Give us our freedom."
"Unfortunately, the emperor is devoted to his empire. He's particularly fond of Judea."
"And Judea's not fond of the emperor."
"Oh, is there anything so sad as unrequited love?"

His quest to save his family and seek revenge occurs during the same time period as Jesus, but the film cleverly handles the interaction between them. The Chariot race is still as thrilling as any modern day action sequence, even better because it is accomplished without the power of CGI.

"You have the spirit to fight back... but the good sense to control it. Your eyes are full of hate, 41. That's good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength."

"Judah! Look, he is driving a Greek chariot. Be careful. Don't let him near you."

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Surf's Up (2007)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Cody's around here somewhere, I can feel it in my nuggets!"

Review: I think this is the best non-documentary surf movie I have ever seen. Normally you get actors who can't surf or surfers who can't act messing it up. The animators were able to accurately recreate the sensation of surfing and added lots of humor to a simple but effective story. The CGI waves look amazing.

"Looks like he stepped on a fire urchin."
"Stepped on me, stepped on me? Are you kidding?!! This guy was dancing on me! I mean just look at this, broken, broken, gone, gone, broken, broken, broken..."

"A winner is someone who doesn't knock me off my surfboard, and break it when I'm trying to get some big waves. Especially Tank, he's definitely not a winner.
"He's a dirty trash can full of poop."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Three Fugitives (1989)

DVD: Enhanced 16:9


"Tell him."
"Tell him what?"
"That I'm the hostage, you shit!"
"Of course you're the hostage. What do you think?"
"No, don't tell me, asshole! Tell them!"
"Excuse me. I think I'm going to faint."

Review: This is a funny movie with many touching moments. Nick Nolte is great as the gruff ex-con who finds himself being taken hostage during a bank robbery by an inept Martin Short the very day he is released from prison. The problem is no one believes that he is the victim, not the perpetrator. The young daughter of Martin Short's character is very effective as the catalyst for the film's plot.

"Have a seat, Doctor. Now tell Detective Dugan everything that you've told me."
"The patient was shot in a hunting accident."
"What?"
"In the right hind leg. From the angle of entry, it would appear that his leg was raised, and he must have been peeing at the moment of impact."
"Thank you, Doctor."
"Wait, I have more. The patient wore no collar and became enraged when given a rubber bone. He nevertheless..."
"Thank you very, very, very much."
"Wait, I have something else. He tested negative for rabies."
"Thank you."

"So... Hehe! I think we can conclude that our Mr. Lucas spent the day getting shot, being treated like a dog, having to baby-sit, and wishing he could've spent one more day in prison... [Phone Rings] It's Lucas."
"Hey, Rover. Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha! How are you pal? Come on in."

4 out of 5 Stars

Film: GoodFellas (1990)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9 - Movie split on double-sided disc


"As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster."

Review: This is a great movie on the life of a mid-level New York mobster. Joe Pesci and Robert DeNiro are outstanding as supporting characters. Ray Liotta and Lorraine Bracco are excellent as well but I never completely connect to them as the main characters which drops this just behind Casino for me.

"Business bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you, pay me."

"I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

DVD: Anamorphic

Review: This is very entertaining considering that this is the 4th film in a series. Bruce Willis is comfortable in this famous role and it shows. Justin Long is good as the hacker sidekick who helps John McClane fight back against the criminals taking over the nation's computer networks. The only moment that elicited groans from me is the scene where McClane is taking on a fighter jet with a semi truck.

Quotes:
"Did you see that?"
"Yeah I saw it, I did it!"

"Awww, great! There goes the cell phone."
"They knocked the satellites out of the skies, now?"
"No, your battery ran out."

"Mai? Oh, yeah. Little Asian chick, likes to kick people? I don't think she's gonna be talkin' to anybody for a really long time. Last time I saw her she was at the bottom of a elevator shaft with an SUV rammed up her ass."

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: Sanford and Son - 3rd Season

DVD: 3 Discs


"You know something, Pop. Watching all that television is bad for your eyes. You know what you should do, you should take a nice, long leisurely walk out in the night air. It would be good for you."
"Yeah, out in that healthy smog and with those friendly muggers."

Review: Another great season of Sanford and Son. Superflyer is hilarious. Too bad Redd Foxx is missing from the last six episodes due to a contract dispute.

"Oh! This is the big one! This is the big one, my son is choking a white woman. Here that, Elizabeth. I coming to join ya, honey... with a fat friend."

"Rollo and I need you to do us a little favor."
"Look. Number one, I don't do no favors after six o'clock in the evening. Two, I ain't got no money. Three, I ain't harboring any fugitives from justice. And four... Bye."

"Ain't it funny how even the worst of heathens tries to get righteous when they feel the Lord is about to tap them on the shoulder."
"Listen, Ester. If I wasn't so sick, I give you one of these across your ugly lips."
"Who are you calling ugly, Sucker?
"I'm calling you ugly. I could stick your face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies."

"Don't leave me! Don't leave me, son! That's what they do with old Eskimos. They put them out on a big block of ice and let them float out to sea until they freeze to death."
"You're gonna wish you had a block of ice where you're going."

"Julio's been bringing in a lot of tires lately and I've been bringing in a lot of used automobile parts. And we're going to combine our resources and specialize in selling used auto parts. It'll be like a sideline business."
"This is your business, Sanford and Son. This is both our business"
"Pop, We'll still have this business."
"Listen, but I built this empire for YOU. I even named it after you. AND Son."

"A Crucifix, a St. Christopher's Medal, a Star of David, a Crescent of Islam and a Budda?"
"And a Mojo."
"What do you need all these things for?"
"It's flight insurance. See, down here on the ground, I'm a Baptist. But up there, I ain't taking no chances."

"What?! Ol' Gorilla Face is going to be at my wedding? Is she going to bring Woody the Wino?"
"I believe so."
"That does it. Now I am going to have to hide my ripple, my gin, my scotch, my bourbon, my rye. I got to hide my bug spray, my Drano... I hope she don't tell anybody else."

"You're a dirty old man, you know that?"
"And I'm going to be one until I'm a dead old man."

"Pop, you're not really going to have that party here, are you? I mean, I know you're not going to have it here."
"Oh no? You just watch me. This is just the beginning. See, I intend to party lightly, slightly, politely, and if possible, all-nightly."

"What do you got on?"
"It's a Super Fly Suit, what'd it look like?"
"Where did you get that thing from anyway?"
"This ain't no thing. And I got it down the street at a 'Going Back to Jail' sale. It only cost me six bucks and the guy who sold it to me got six months."

"Is it possible for somebody to have, say, three or four heart attacks a day."
"No, I sure doubt it. After the second, they would probably be dead. One big one and it's all over."
"Then it's not likely for somebody to average 26 big ones a week, huh?"
"No, that's unbelievable."
"I thought so too."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Sanford and Son - 2nd Season

DVD: 3 Discs


"Ethel, how'd you like one across your lip?"

Review: Redd Foxx is hilarious as Fred Sanford, the lazy owner of junkyard in LA. His comedic sense of timing and delivery is impeccable and timeless. Demond Wilson plays a great straight man as Fred's son, Lamont.

"Now listen, if you try to run off with my truck and try to cash that check, I'll find you. Might take me a week, might take me a month, might take me years. But one day, maybe 50 years from now, you'll be walkin' down the street and when you least expect it, a 115-year old man gonna jump out of the alley with a two-by-four and cave your skull in. Now, come on and get to work."

"Hucklebuck is in used cars, Pop. He buys and sells."
"You sure he doesn't steal and repaint?"

"Listen, let me tell you. You know that old saying, A fool and his money are soon parted? Well, it won't be long now, fool."

"I think the stakes are a little too high for you, Papa Sanford."
"Oh, I got money now. Wait a minute. Look here. I got money. Safe... Door... Combination... Open... Shoebox... Top... Mason Jar... Sock... Woolite... Mint... Government. Is that enough?"

"Help! It's a burglar! Help! I got him! I got him! Give me the baseball bat!"
"Pop! Pop, you've got Rollo!"
"What's wrong with you, Pops?"
"Ain't nothing wrong with me. When I'm being robbed, I grab the nearest throat."

"Sit in this chair, Mr. Sanford."
"What we gonna do, eat now?"
"This just a little protection. The dentist will be with you in just a moment."
"Did you hear that? Just for protection. It's for blood.
"Stop. It is not."
"It is. See? They butcher your mouth, then you lean over here and bleed in this sink. And when it's finished draining out ya, there you are, dead."

"Get out of there. Get on out of there before I give you a wood shampoo."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be trespassing."
"Well, that's what you're doing is trespassing. Hit the road, Jack."

"It's the phone company. They say if we don't pay the bill, they're going to cut it off."
"Gimme that. Hello? Yeah, this is Fred Sanford. Yeah, the phone is listed in my name. Say listen, what makes you folks think you can call me and cut somebody's phone off just because they're a little bit behind in their bill? I need my phone for my place of business. That's right. I wish one of you would come over here and try to cut my phone off. I'll put my foot in your... Hello? Hello? It's dead."

"The way you talk to your father is deplorable. No, it is inexcusable. In my country, such behavior is unheard of. You would be beaten."
"I wish I had you in Nigeria. I'd knock you out."

"We'll take care of him. He'll be in good hands. Oh, why don't I show you to your room, Mr. Sanford. All right? I have this nice room right across the hall from me. Won't that be cozy?"
"Just don't start any funny stuff. See, you might be fully integrated, but I ain't crossed that bridge yet."

"Where you been so long?"
"Fighting crime in the streets, Mr. Sanford. We are gonna get to the point where people can walk anywhere in Los Angeles."
"Yeah, but they'll still be running in Watts."

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: Sanford and Son - 1st Season (1972)

DVD: 2 Discs


"I do run this joint, and I work just as hard as you do, maybe harder. I do. Sortin', arrangin', sellin'. Coordinate. That's what I do. I coordinate here. I coordinate everything in here."

Review: This 1st season hit it's stride right near the beginning. Very funny.

"Pop, you ain't even dressed! Ain't you gonna cook breakfast?"
"I ain't cooking nothing. I'm retired."
"Retired?"
"Yeah, I applied for Social Security. And you know how much I'll be getting? They pay high as $213.10. That's enough for me to retire. I ain't doin' nothing for you and nobody else. You're lookin' at a man of leisure."

"I don't understand it, Pop. She was so sweet."
"Yeah, sweet before the wedding. Then after the wedding, she'd be just like her mama. King Kong in bloomers.

"Hazel, how would like one across your lip? You know, I don't mind givin' a lady one across the lip."
"And that'll be the last time you give somethin' across the lips."
"No, it won't."
"Oh yes, it will."
"If I hit you in the mouth, I bet your lips get to the hospital before the ambulance."
"No, they won't"
"Listen, I fought heavyweights before, you know."

"A bible? Pop, you stole a Bible? We got a Bible upstairs. You don't need this."
"Well, we'll use this one downstairs. That way we'll have full coverage."
"Pop, it says right here in this book, Thou shall not steal."
"And it also says in this book, The meek shall inherit the earth. So you got to start somewhere."

"Every time I bring some chick home, you find some way of lousin' it up."
"You know that's not true. When you bring a girl home I go upstairs or go in the kitchen and shut the door."
"Yeah, with your eyeball pressed up against the keyhole."
"Are you kidding? I wouldn't waste my time with an amateur like you. I can see more sex on the 6 o'clock news."
"Well, if I am an amateur, it's 'cause I never get no practice. You're always in the way, Pop."

"I don't understand you kids today. If I'd talk to my father like you talk to me, you know what he'd have done?"
"Yeah, he'd have given you one across the lip."
"That's right, and continue on down from there. When he whipped, he whipped from the lips to the hips."

"Look at this trash."
"Trash? This is good. This is aluminum."
"Alulimum? That's nothing but old pot metal. Ain't worth nothing. How long have you been with me now, Lamont?"
"What do you mean, how long have I been with you? Since I was born."
"Has it been that long?"

"Well, no, I didn't mean to call you no clucking duck. What I meant was, like a cackling hen. No, Donna, wait a minute, honey. Don't cry. Don't cry, please."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"If you don't mind my asking... what are you?"
"Well, I'm a... Well, I'm a faun. And what about you? You must be some kind of beardless dwarf?"
"I'm not a dwarf! I'm a girl. And actually, I'm tallest in my class."
"You mean to say that you're a daughter of Eve?"

Review: I am always happy but worried when they make a movie of one of my favorite books I read as a child. This is an excellent adaption with amazing production values and special effects. It is stays truthful to the book by only adding a few subplots but never changing or removing anything from the book. Watching it really takes me back and feel the same emotions I felt then.

"I can make anything you like."
"Can you make me taller?"
"Anything you'd like... to eat."
"Turkish Delight?"

"What were you all doing in the wardrobe?"
"You wouldn't believe us if we told you, sir."
"Try me."

5 out of 5

Film: Friday (1995)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"I know you don't smoke weed, I know this, but I'm gonna get you high today. 'Cause it's Friday. You ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do."

Review: This is the flip-side film to the Boyz' N the Hood. A comic portrayal of life in South Central LA. Ice Cube is good as the straight man to the hilarious Chris Tucker, who plays his drug dealer friend. John Witherspoon plays his father and steals every scene he is in.

"I ain't trying to be no dog catcher."
"Why not?"
"I don't even like dogs."
"That's the beauty of it. I grab a dog. I choke him and I kick the shit out of him. All day long, my foot up a dog's ass. Just bang, bang, bang up his ass. That's my pleasure."

"I got mind control over Deebo. He be like, 'Shut the Fuck Up'. I be quiet. But when he leave, I be talkin' again."

"Damn, you got knocked... the FUCK out!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Dragnet (1987)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Well, Emil... I guess it's just you... and me... your balls... and this drawer."

Review: This is a comedic remake of the famous television show with Dan Ackroyd as the uptight LA detective and Tom Hanks as his more laid back partner. It is fun, but nothing special.

"Reckless endangerment of human life, willful disregard of private property, failure to signal for a safe lane change."
"Yeah, he's really racking up the violations, isn't he?"
"Not him, you! This is your one-way ticket back to civilian life, Mister."

"Ah sure, but just like every other foaming, rabid psycho in this city with a foolproof plan, you've forgotten you're facing the single finest fighting force ever assembled."
"The Israelis?"
"Try the decent, hardworking men and women of Los Angeles."
"Forgotten about them? My dear Sergeant, I'm absolutely counting on them."

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Glory (1989)

DVD: Anamorphic


"I wonder when they gonna give us the blue suits."
"Where you from, boy?"
"South Carolina."
"South Carolina? Well then you ought to know better than that, boy."

Review: This is an excellent Civil War movie about the first black regiment in the Union Army, the 54th Massachusetts. Denzel Washington won his first Oscar and Morgan Freeman is amazing as well. Mathew Broderick plays the young officer who is picked to lead the regiment, but has to struggle against the army leadership in order to let his soldiers fight.

"See the way I figure, I figure this war would be over a whole lot sooner if you boys just turned right on around and headed back on down that way, and you let us head on up there where the real fighting is."
"We got men dyin' up that road."
"And there wouldn't be nothing but Rebs dyin' if they'd let the 54th in it."

"There's more to fighting than rest, sir. There's character, there's strength of heart. You should have seen us in action two days ago. We were a sight to see! We'll be ready, sir. When do you want us?"

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Deuce Bigalow - Male Gigolo (1999)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"Look at this proud fish. It's like a coyote, king of the jungle. It's like Antoine. He don't need no pimp. Then look at this mid-level fish here. Works hotels, conventions, senior centers. I represent several man-whores at this level of the game. Now look at this little fella, at the bottom trying to get busy with the scuba man. You know, if you work hard and listen to me, this could be you."

Review: Rob Schneider's best movie is a entertaining story with many funny scenes that holds together a loose plot. He plays a fish tank cleaner who works as a male prostitute to help pay for the damages when he accidentally floods the apartment of a real male gigolo.

"I'm sorry. I have Tourette's Syndrome and it causes me to have these uncontrollable outbursts."
"It's not so bad."
"Yeah, it's okay. I mean, you get used to it. BALL SWEAT! ANUS! ANUS LICKER! Naah-naah-naah-naah-nyiii!"
"I barely notice it."

"I don't understand why women do it. I don't see how they can get any pleasure from it. It's not supposed to go up there. Frankly, I don't even understand how men do it, either."
"You wouldn't want to try it, just to try something new?"
"No, it's just...not natural."
"So you're definitely opposed to space travel?"
"Totally! I mean, more power to any woman who wants to be an astronaut, but I'm just not into it. Frankly, I'd rather take it up the butt."

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars