Film: Kick-Ass (2010)

Blu-Ray


Review: There have been a few films in the past about normal guys attempting to be superheros, but none of them have been great until this one. The secret ingredient for this film is obviously Hit Girl, the foul-mouthed 11-year-old trained to a killing machine by her ex-cop father. This is almost two films in one, Kick-Ass' weak attempts to be a vigilante hero and Big Daddy/Hit Girl's more effective vendetta against the crime boss who framed the father. They blend together perfectly and Christopher Mintz-Plasse steals his scenes as Red Mist.

Quotes:
"Okay you cunts... Let's see what you can do now!"

"I'll be honest, there wasn't a whole lot of crime-fighting in those first few weeks. But even so, my new vocation kept me plenty busy. I called it preparation. But if you called it fantasizing, it would've been hard to argue. All I knew was, I never felt so good about myself."

"The fuck is wrong with you, man? You'd rather die for some piece of shit that you don't even fucking know?"
"The three assholes, laying into one guy while everybody else watches? And you wanna know what's wrong with me? Yeah, I'd rather die... so bring it on!"

"How do I get a hold of you?"
"You just contact the mayor's office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky; it's in the shape of a giant cock."

"Dave? What the fuck are you doing? Why are you dressed as Kick-Ass?"
"Because I am Kick-Ass!"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm also not gay!"
"Fuck!"

"Good job. I'm so proud of you, baby doll. Are you okay?"
"Mhmm... but getting shot, Daddy... it hurt a lot more than when you did it."
"That's because I used low velocity rounds, child..."
"You're the kindest Daddy in the whole world."

"Whoa! It's only me boss. Everything's under control."
"Under control? You're grabbing a fucking bazooka, you dumb ass!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Love and Death on Long Island (1998)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


Review: A funny film with John Hurt as an English literary writer who has lived a sequestered life away from modern technology and pop culture until his wife passes away. One afternoon, after being locked out his house, he takes shelter from the rain in a nearby movie house where he mistakenly enters the wrong theater showing Hotpants College II and becomes enraptured by one of the young male actors. Most of the humor comes from this distinguished elderly gentleman pursuing his new obsession; memorizing details about the actor's life from glossy teen mags, renting videos of his trashy movies and eventually traveling to America to track him down.

Quotes:
"Hotpants College II is a puerile romp without a single redeeming feature."

"The sign says, No Smoking."
"No, the sign says, Thank You for Not Smoking. As I am smoking, I don't expect to be thanked."

"Can I help you?"
"Uh... yeah. One for number three, please."
"Come again?"
"One adult for number three."
"What do you want to see, sir?"
"The film in number three."
"Which?"
"Uh... Hotpants College II."
"Thank you."

"I have, as usual, said you are far too busy. But it is a very prestigious lecture, Giles."
"Would you advise me against it?"
"As your agent, I would strongly urge you to do it. But as a friend, I wouldn't want to disturb your work, which seems to be so invigorating, Giles."
"I'll think about it."
"Really?!"
"I'm getting rather tired of hearing myself say no. Now you can help me, Henry. What exactly is a sitcom?""

"Two pieces of identification, one proof of address. I believe that qualifies me for membership."
"There's a 10 pound deposit, so you don't nick nothing. But you get a 2 pound voucher for a Bernie's Pizza Delivery. You can take out two tapes now, if you want."
"Um, could I forfeit my Bernie's Pizza voucher for a third one?"

"Very impressive. You're both very talented, my dear."
"Thanks."
"Well, you must give Ronnie tips, no doubt."
"Tips?"
"Well, doesn't he have to do photographs for the fan magazines?"
"Photo shoots, tell me about it. He hates them."
"Well, he seems rather good at it."

"Dear God, this is ridiculous."

4 out of 5 Stars