TV: Sanford and Son - 3rd Season

DVD: 3 Discs


"You know something, Pop. Watching all that television is bad for your eyes. You know what you should do, you should take a nice, long leisurely walk out in the night air. It would be good for you."
"Yeah, out in that healthy smog and with those friendly muggers."

Review: Another great season of Sanford and Son. Superflyer is hilarious. Too bad Redd Foxx is missing from the last six episodes due to a contract dispute.

"Oh! This is the big one! This is the big one, my son is choking a white woman. Here that, Elizabeth. I coming to join ya, honey... with a fat friend."

"Rollo and I need you to do us a little favor."
"Look. Number one, I don't do no favors after six o'clock in the evening. Two, I ain't got no money. Three, I ain't harboring any fugitives from justice. And four... Bye."

"Ain't it funny how even the worst of heathens tries to get righteous when they feel the Lord is about to tap them on the shoulder."
"Listen, Ester. If I wasn't so sick, I give you one of these across your ugly lips."
"Who are you calling ugly, Sucker?
"I'm calling you ugly. I could stick your face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies."

"Don't leave me! Don't leave me, son! That's what they do with old Eskimos. They put them out on a big block of ice and let them float out to sea until they freeze to death."
"You're gonna wish you had a block of ice where you're going."

"Julio's been bringing in a lot of tires lately and I've been bringing in a lot of used automobile parts. And we're going to combine our resources and specialize in selling used auto parts. It'll be like a sideline business."
"This is your business, Sanford and Son. This is both our business"
"Pop, We'll still have this business."
"Listen, but I built this empire for YOU. I even named it after you. AND Son."

"A Crucifix, a St. Christopher's Medal, a Star of David, a Crescent of Islam and a Budda?"
"And a Mojo."
"What do you need all these things for?"
"It's flight insurance. See, down here on the ground, I'm a Baptist. But up there, I ain't taking no chances."

"What?! Ol' Gorilla Face is going to be at my wedding? Is she going to bring Woody the Wino?"
"I believe so."
"That does it. Now I am going to have to hide my ripple, my gin, my scotch, my bourbon, my rye. I got to hide my bug spray, my Drano... I hope she don't tell anybody else."

"You're a dirty old man, you know that?"
"And I'm going to be one until I'm a dead old man."

"Pop, you're not really going to have that party here, are you? I mean, I know you're not going to have it here."
"Oh no? You just watch me. This is just the beginning. See, I intend to party lightly, slightly, politely, and if possible, all-nightly."

"What do you got on?"
"It's a Super Fly Suit, what'd it look like?"
"Where did you get that thing from anyway?"
"This ain't no thing. And I got it down the street at a 'Going Back to Jail' sale. It only cost me six bucks and the guy who sold it to me got six months."

"Is it possible for somebody to have, say, three or four heart attacks a day."
"No, I sure doubt it. After the second, they would probably be dead. One big one and it's all over."
"Then it's not likely for somebody to average 26 big ones a week, huh?"
"No, that's unbelievable."
"I thought so too."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

TV: Sanford and Son - 2nd Season

DVD: 3 Discs


"Ethel, how'd you like one across your lip?"

Review: Redd Foxx is hilarious as Fred Sanford, the lazy owner of junkyard in LA. His comedic sense of timing and delivery is impeccable and timeless. Demond Wilson plays a great straight man as Fred's son, Lamont.

"Now listen, if you try to run off with my truck and try to cash that check, I'll find you. Might take me a week, might take me a month, might take me years. But one day, maybe 50 years from now, you'll be walkin' down the street and when you least expect it, a 115-year old man gonna jump out of the alley with a two-by-four and cave your skull in. Now, come on and get to work."

"Hucklebuck is in used cars, Pop. He buys and sells."
"You sure he doesn't steal and repaint?"

"Listen, let me tell you. You know that old saying, A fool and his money are soon parted? Well, it won't be long now, fool."

"I think the stakes are a little too high for you, Papa Sanford."
"Oh, I got money now. Wait a minute. Look here. I got money. Safe... Door... Combination... Open... Shoebox... Top... Mason Jar... Sock... Woolite... Mint... Government. Is that enough?"

"Help! It's a burglar! Help! I got him! I got him! Give me the baseball bat!"
"Pop! Pop, you've got Rollo!"
"What's wrong with you, Pops?"
"Ain't nothing wrong with me. When I'm being robbed, I grab the nearest throat."

"Sit in this chair, Mr. Sanford."
"What we gonna do, eat now?"
"This just a little protection. The dentist will be with you in just a moment."
"Did you hear that? Just for protection. It's for blood.
"Stop. It is not."
"It is. See? They butcher your mouth, then you lean over here and bleed in this sink. And when it's finished draining out ya, there you are, dead."

"Get out of there. Get on out of there before I give you a wood shampoo."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be trespassing."
"Well, that's what you're doing is trespassing. Hit the road, Jack."

"It's the phone company. They say if we don't pay the bill, they're going to cut it off."
"Gimme that. Hello? Yeah, this is Fred Sanford. Yeah, the phone is listed in my name. Say listen, what makes you folks think you can call me and cut somebody's phone off just because they're a little bit behind in their bill? I need my phone for my place of business. That's right. I wish one of you would come over here and try to cut my phone off. I'll put my foot in your... Hello? Hello? It's dead."

"The way you talk to your father is deplorable. No, it is inexcusable. In my country, such behavior is unheard of. You would be beaten."
"I wish I had you in Nigeria. I'd knock you out."

"We'll take care of him. He'll be in good hands. Oh, why don't I show you to your room, Mr. Sanford. All right? I have this nice room right across the hall from me. Won't that be cozy?"
"Just don't start any funny stuff. See, you might be fully integrated, but I ain't crossed that bridge yet."

"Where you been so long?"
"Fighting crime in the streets, Mr. Sanford. We are gonna get to the point where people can walk anywhere in Los Angeles."
"Yeah, but they'll still be running in Watts."

5 out of 5 Stars

TV: Sanford and Son - 1st Season (1972)

DVD: 2 Discs


"I do run this joint, and I work just as hard as you do, maybe harder. I do. Sortin', arrangin', sellin'. Coordinate. That's what I do. I coordinate here. I coordinate everything in here."

Review: This 1st season hit it's stride right near the beginning. Very funny.

"Pop, you ain't even dressed! Ain't you gonna cook breakfast?"
"I ain't cooking nothing. I'm retired."
"Retired?"
"Yeah, I applied for Social Security. And you know how much I'll be getting? They pay high as $213.10. That's enough for me to retire. I ain't doin' nothing for you and nobody else. You're lookin' at a man of leisure."

"I don't understand it, Pop. She was so sweet."
"Yeah, sweet before the wedding. Then after the wedding, she'd be just like her mama. King Kong in bloomers.

"Hazel, how would like one across your lip? You know, I don't mind givin' a lady one across the lip."
"And that'll be the last time you give somethin' across the lips."
"No, it won't."
"Oh yes, it will."
"If I hit you in the mouth, I bet your lips get to the hospital before the ambulance."
"No, they won't"
"Listen, I fought heavyweights before, you know."

"A bible? Pop, you stole a Bible? We got a Bible upstairs. You don't need this."
"Well, we'll use this one downstairs. That way we'll have full coverage."
"Pop, it says right here in this book, Thou shall not steal."
"And it also says in this book, The meek shall inherit the earth. So you got to start somewhere."

"Every time I bring some chick home, you find some way of lousin' it up."
"You know that's not true. When you bring a girl home I go upstairs or go in the kitchen and shut the door."
"Yeah, with your eyeball pressed up against the keyhole."
"Are you kidding? I wouldn't waste my time with an amateur like you. I can see more sex on the 6 o'clock news."
"Well, if I am an amateur, it's 'cause I never get no practice. You're always in the way, Pop."

"I don't understand you kids today. If I'd talk to my father like you talk to me, you know what he'd have done?"
"Yeah, he'd have given you one across the lip."
"That's right, and continue on down from there. When he whipped, he whipped from the lips to the hips."

"Look at this trash."
"Trash? This is good. This is aluminum."
"Alulimum? That's nothing but old pot metal. Ain't worth nothing. How long have you been with me now, Lamont?"
"What do you mean, how long have I been with you? Since I was born."
"Has it been that long?"

"Well, no, I didn't mean to call you no clucking duck. What I meant was, like a cackling hen. No, Donna, wait a minute, honey. Don't cry. Don't cry, please."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"If you don't mind my asking... what are you?"
"Well, I'm a... Well, I'm a faun. And what about you? You must be some kind of beardless dwarf?"
"I'm not a dwarf! I'm a girl. And actually, I'm tallest in my class."
"You mean to say that you're a daughter of Eve?"

Review: I am always happy but worried when they make a movie of one of my favorite books I read as a child. This is an excellent adaption with amazing production values and special effects. It is stays truthful to the book by only adding a few subplots but never changing or removing anything from the book. Watching it really takes me back and feel the same emotions I felt then.

"I can make anything you like."
"Can you make me taller?"
"Anything you'd like... to eat."
"Turkish Delight?"

"What were you all doing in the wardrobe?"
"You wouldn't believe us if we told you, sir."
"Try me."

5 out of 5

Film: Friday (1995)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"I know you don't smoke weed, I know this, but I'm gonna get you high today. 'Cause it's Friday. You ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do."

Review: This is the flip-side film to the Boyz' N the Hood. A comic portrayal of life in South Central LA. Ice Cube is good as the straight man to the hilarious Chris Tucker, who plays his drug dealer friend. John Witherspoon plays his father and steals every scene he is in.

"I ain't trying to be no dog catcher."
"Why not?"
"I don't even like dogs."
"That's the beauty of it. I grab a dog. I choke him and I kick the shit out of him. All day long, my foot up a dog's ass. Just bang, bang, bang up his ass. That's my pleasure."

"I got mind control over Deebo. He be like, 'Shut the Fuck Up'. I be quiet. But when he leave, I be talkin' again."

"Damn, you got knocked... the FUCK out!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Dragnet (1987)

DVD: Anamorphic


"Well, Emil... I guess it's just you... and me... your balls... and this drawer."

Review: This is a comedic remake of the famous television show with Dan Ackroyd as the uptight LA detective and Tom Hanks as his more laid back partner. It is fun, but nothing special.

"Reckless endangerment of human life, willful disregard of private property, failure to signal for a safe lane change."
"Yeah, he's really racking up the violations, isn't he?"
"Not him, you! This is your one-way ticket back to civilian life, Mister."

"Ah sure, but just like every other foaming, rabid psycho in this city with a foolproof plan, you've forgotten you're facing the single finest fighting force ever assembled."
"The Israelis?"
"Try the decent, hardworking men and women of Los Angeles."
"Forgotten about them? My dear Sergeant, I'm absolutely counting on them."

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: Glory (1989)

DVD: Anamorphic


"I wonder when they gonna give us the blue suits."
"Where you from, boy?"
"South Carolina."
"South Carolina? Well then you ought to know better than that, boy."

Review: This is an excellent Civil War movie about the first black regiment in the Union Army, the 54th Massachusetts. Denzel Washington won his first Oscar and Morgan Freeman is amazing as well. Mathew Broderick plays the young officer who is picked to lead the regiment, but has to struggle against the army leadership in order to let his soldiers fight.

"See the way I figure, I figure this war would be over a whole lot sooner if you boys just turned right on around and headed back on down that way, and you let us head on up there where the real fighting is."
"We got men dyin' up that road."
"And there wouldn't be nothing but Rebs dyin' if they'd let the 54th in it."

"There's more to fighting than rest, sir. There's character, there's strength of heart. You should have seen us in action two days ago. We were a sight to see! We'll be ready, sir. When do you want us?"

5 out of 5 Stars

Film: Deuce Bigalow - Male Gigolo (1999)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"Look at this proud fish. It's like a coyote, king of the jungle. It's like Antoine. He don't need no pimp. Then look at this mid-level fish here. Works hotels, conventions, senior centers. I represent several man-whores at this level of the game. Now look at this little fella, at the bottom trying to get busy with the scuba man. You know, if you work hard and listen to me, this could be you."

Review: Rob Schneider's best movie is a entertaining story with many funny scenes that holds together a loose plot. He plays a fish tank cleaner who works as a male prostitute to help pay for the damages when he accidentally floods the apartment of a real male gigolo.

"I'm sorry. I have Tourette's Syndrome and it causes me to have these uncontrollable outbursts."
"It's not so bad."
"Yeah, it's okay. I mean, you get used to it. BALL SWEAT! ANUS! ANUS LICKER! Naah-naah-naah-naah-nyiii!"
"I barely notice it."

"I don't understand why women do it. I don't see how they can get any pleasure from it. It's not supposed to go up there. Frankly, I don't even understand how men do it, either."
"You wouldn't want to try it, just to try something new?"
"No, it's just...not natural."
"So you're definitely opposed to space travel?"
"Totally! I mean, more power to any woman who wants to be an astronaut, but I'm just not into it. Frankly, I'd rather take it up the butt."

3 1/2 out of 5 Stars