"Dearest Lisa, I'm sorry I was so obsessed with what you might look like naked. I am even more sorry that I never actually got the chance to see you naked. Please think of me the next time you're naked, because if it is at all possible to become a ghost I will be there appreciating you in all your naked splendor."
"Are you sure you don't have mine?"
"It's mine, Mathew!"
Review: Now that many years have passed since Phil Hartman died, I am able to judge the last season objectively. The show writing was still top notch with episodes like "Flowers for Matthew" and the D.B. Cooper storyline but the magic left with Phil.
Everyone leaving for New Hampshire except Dave and Matthew was a great way to end the series. The tribute episode to Bill McNeil at the beginning of the season makes the whole DVD set worth owning.
"David, Joe told the Stupid Matthew that the drink would make him smarter. The stupid Matthew, of course, believed him because he'll believe anything and thus, it worked."
"I'm having a little trouble following this."
"Well, consider Wile E. Coyote. When he runs off a cliff, he can stay in mid-air indefinitely as LONG as he doesn't know he is in mid-air."
"I wish you could have met the other Matthew."
"The Stupid one?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"I think it would be nice for you to know that he really is, quite a sweet guy."
"I did meet him, Dave."
"How so?"
"Today YOU were my Stupid Matthew."
"I have some of Mr. James old bank records from the time of the hijacking."
"Nothing incriminating, I hope."
"No, no, no. Just a couple of large, unsubstantiated cash deposits made a week after the hijacking, but I'm SURE he can explain it."
"Lisa, we are journalists and as such, we must try to be unbiased. But I would prefer it if the evidence that puts Mr. James away for life did not actually COME FROM THIS STATION."
"Dave, when are you going to stop sending a sharp tongue to do a hug's work?"
"Beth, come here. What's third base?"
"{Whisper, Whisper}"
"Oh! I thought that was second base."
"No. Actually, I thought it was first base. Guys in high school really messed with my head."
"Welcome to my little Alter of Terror, Lisa. Shoe's not so comfy when it's on the other foot, is it? Or should I say hoof?"
"Joe?"
"I'm just an impartial observer... Put the Voodoo doll over the fire."
"Oh, good idea. Hey Lisa! Did anybody ever tell you you have a HOT ASS?"
"Give me that! Matthew, I did not ritually abuse you!"
"Well then, if taste is our criteria than I have problems with allot of things. I think that black and white photography is pretentious. I find these chairs to be ugly. I can't begin to tell you how much or how often this man offends me. But these are all questions of freedom of expression and as such, they must be protected. If we've come to the point where someone can no longer paint, "Stinkbutt", then we no longer live in a free society."
"We're painting over it."
"You can't do that!"
"Well, actually we did it about an hour ago."
"Oh well."
4 out of 5 Stars
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