"Up and at 'em, Cicely. Rise and shine. Time to haul butt out of those racks, pull on the uniform of the day and spiff up the A.O. Yours truly, Maurice J. Minnifield, at the desk, pulling relief for Chris Stevens who as of 0700 this a.m. is A.W.O.L. Not so much as a phone call. Where I'm from, that's an Article 15, two weeks reduction in pay and restriction to post. You want to buck it, Stevens, this leatherneck would be more than happy to pull you in for a Section Eight. Now then, on to the business of the day..."
Review: This is the last full season with Joel Fleischman. This season was very good but it had a sense of melancholy about it, I thought. Joel begins to slowly accept living in Cicely and he and Maggie finally form a steady relationship.
"$284? What the hell am I supposed to do with $284?"
"Endorse, deposit and credit it to your account."
"I'm not ready to collect Social Security. I don't need it. Hell, I don't even believe in it!"
"Look, you got it coming. Golden years, Maurice."
"Golden years, my ass! I don't need your old age-benefits! You people are trying to kill me."
"Back in Saskatoon, me and my best friend Cindy used to be the primo junior league hockey groupies of all time. We used to party with these identical twins on the Otters, Jacques and Gilles Leblanc. Real Stud Muffins. But I swear to God, a couple of rum and Cokes, you couldn't tell which one slipping you the puck. They used to trick us all the time, pretend they were the other guy."
"It's that test, man."
"Chris, I have seen men fly bombers with their faces half blown away. And you're gonna allow a few algebra formulas to ground you?"
"Hey, it might be a molehill to you, but it's the Matterhorn to me. It hurts my head. It fries my brain."
"Oh, come on , Stevens!"
"You don't understand. I mean, it's like... It's like I'm dying in there, all right? I mean, the walls are closing in on me and I'm filled with anxiety. Do you understand that? Can you understand that? I'm paralyzed like a little bunny rabbit out in the middle of the road. Here comes a semi, and it's filled with judgement and humiliation. And it's coming right at me. And I ain't doing it, Chief. It ain't worth it."
"If you don't grab a hold of both of 'em, and get over to that blood drive, you're gonna be more than light-headed, you're gonna be fired. This is one bet I'm not gonna lose. Cantwell may be bigger, but they're not better. If they pledge 500 units, we're gonna come up with 501. We'll see who's smiling at this year's Sons of the Tundra lunch."
"And they wonder what makes America so great, huh?"
"Oh, I want Fleischman."
"The guy's a contrarian, Maggie. I know these people. They have to think about everything. They have to talk about everything. They just can't sit on a deck and have a drink."
"Tell me about it."
"Of course, if you don't snap out of it pretty soon, I'm gonna have to start casting around for a permanent replacement."
"Replacement?"
"Yeah, afraid so."
"Yeah, that's it. I'm just a warm body to you?"
"Listen, Joel. Don't take it personally. I mean, I've got a town to look after here. I was thinking about maybe, uh, looking at UCLA, some of those smart Asian kids. They work hard and they don't complain."
"Oh boy. Unbelievable."
5 out of 5 Stars
No comments:
Post a Comment