Review: A classic comedy starring Tony Curtis and Hollywood legends, Jack Lemmon and Marilyn Monroe. Two broke musicians who need to flee Chicago after witnessing a mob massacre, dress up as women in order to hitch a ride with an all-girl band leaving for Florida. When they both fall for the band's singer, Sugar, they end up maintaining their disguise longer than they expected.
Quotes:
"What kind of band is it anyway?"
"You gotta be under 25."
"We could pass for that."
"Gotta be blond?"
"We could dye our hair."
"And you gotta be girls."
"We could..."
"No, we couldn't."
"Look at that. Look how she moves. That's just like Jello with springs. They must have some sort of built-in motor or something. I tell ya, it's a whole different sex."
"What are you afraid of? Nobody's asking you to have a baby."
"There are two things I will not put up with during working hours. One is liquor and the other one is men."
"Men? Oh, you don't have to worry about that."
"We wouldn't be caught dead with men. Rough, hairy beasts with eight hands."
"I can't trust myself. I have this thing about saxophone players. Especially tenor sax."
"Really?"
"I don't know why, but they just curdle me. All they have to do is play eight bars of 'Come to Me, My Melancholy Baby' and my spine turns to custard. I get goose-pimply all over, and I come to 'em."
"That so?"
"Every time."
"You know, I play tenor sax."
"But you're a girl... thank goodness."
"Pull in your reel, Mr. Fielding, your barking up the wrong fish."
"If I promise not to be a naughty boy, how about dinner tonight?"
"I'm sorry. I'll be on the bandstand."
"Oh, of course. Which instrument do you play?"
"Bull fiddle."
"Oh, fascinating. Do you use a bow, or do you just pluck it?"
"Most of the time, I slap it."
"You must be quite a girl."
"Wanna bet?"
"Have I got things to tell you."
"What happened?"
"I'm engaged."
"Congratulations! Who's the lucky girl?"
"I am."
"Look at all that silverware."
"Uh, trophies, you know... skeet shooting, dog breeding, water polo..."
"Water polo? Isn't that terribly dangerous?"
"I'll say. I had two ponies drown under me."
"Osgood, I gonna level with you. We can't get married at all."
"Why not?"
"Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde."
"Doesn't matter."
"Well, I have a terrible past. For three years, I've been living with a saxophone player."
"I forgive you."
"I can never have children."
"We can adopt some."
"You don't understand Osgood... Aw, I'm a man."
"Well, nobody's perfect."
4 out of 5 Stars
