"Forculus, if you be the right god for this business here, I call on you to help me. If you will open this door, then I will kill for you a fine white lamb, or failing that, if I couldn't get one at a decent price, then six pigeons. This, Forculus, I vow to you."
Review: This is an amazing mini-series of Caesar's journey to become Emperor of Rome after his victory over the Gauls. Not only does it tell the story of the Civil War and the End of the Republic through the eyes of the nobles, but follows two soldiers from his Army as well. A very entertaining slice of history.
"Me, I have simpler tastes. I like to kill my enemy, take their gold and enjoy their women. That's it. Why tie yourself to one? Where's the flavor? Where's the joy?"
"Pullo, when was the last time you had a woman who wasn't crying or wanting payment?"
"My wife, she... You heard what she said, she hates me."
"What's your question?"
"How do I stop her from hating me, obviously?"
"It's not obvious. I thought you were making her hate you with a purpose."
"That was not my intent at all. Why would I do that?"
"Well, I don't know. You're the clever one, you. There might have been a thousand reasons."
"Caesar's scouts are only thirty miles from Rome. His speed is uncanny. Of course, he has only a very few men, which makes a fast pace easier. He is not leading an Army so much as an armed gang. It is all highly irregular, unethical even. Gods, it is not even the war season."
"Surely he does not think to attack Rome directly?"
"I think that is exactly what he will do."
"How happy, eh? To be a slave. To have no will. To make no decisions. Driftwood. How restful it must be."
"What's your price then?"
"1,000."
"Gerrae! I could have half the whores in Narbo for that, and their mothers."
"We're not in Narbo, whatever that might be."
"All right, my dove. We'll pay. But the girl better fuck him like Helen of Troy with her ass on fire, or I'll know the reason why."
"We will accept battle?"
"Certainly. Why not?"
"We are outnumbered 3 to 1 on foot and 5 to 1 on horse. What uninjured men we have are scared and hungry and desperate."
"That is the advantage we must press home."
"I was not aware irony had military usage."
"We must win or die. Pompey's men have other options."
"Enough. I am your son, but not your child. You will not strike me anymore."
"Will I not? You fucked your sister, you little pervert! Don't tell me what I will and will not do!"
"As some of you know, Caesar and I have had our disagreements. However that may be, he has shown himself to be as wise and merciful in victory as he was invincible in battle. Let this be an end to division and civil strife. I willingly pledge my loyalty to him, and I urge you all to do the same."
"The people, simple souls that they are, have made great heroes out of you and Pullo. If I were to punish you, the people would be made extremely angry. But I do not wish to make the people angry, ergo, I cannot punish you. If I cannot punish you, I must reward you, else I seem weak. By popular acclaim, I shall name Lucius Vorenus a Senator of Rome."
"Gentlemen, this is not some cheap murder! It is an honorable thing that we do, and it must be done honorably. In daylight. On the Senate floor. With our own hand... With my hand."
5 out of 5 Stars
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