"Ted, I'm going to teach you how to live. I'm Barney. We met at the urinal."
"Oh, right. Hi."
"Lesson One, lose the goatee. It doesn't go with your suit."
"I'm not wearing a suit."
"Lesson Two, get a suit. Suits are cool. Exhibit A. Lesson Three, don't even think of getting married till you're 30."
Review: This sitcom started out strong. Excellent characters with good chemistry between them. It is the new "Friends". Neil Patrick Harris has a breakout character with Barney.
"Now, if you want, you can go to the same bar, drink the same beer, talk to the same people every day. Or you can lick the Liberty Bell. You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it."
"That was beautiful, man."
"Thanks, Leonard."
"You dumped A PORN STAR? Friendship over. FRIENDSHIP OVER!!!!"
"I promise we will find you somebody. Don't lose hope. There are new women turning 18 every day."
"I've done so much good today, I've got, like, a soul boner. Man, the way the faces of the less fortunate light up when you give them a hot, nutritious meal, is there a better feeling on earth?"
"Yesterday, you said the best feeling on earth was getting your toes sucked. Then you requested a high-five, with your foot."
"Your brain screws you up, Ted. It gets in the way. It happened with Robin. It happened with half boob. And it's gonna keep on happening, until you power down that bucket of neuroses, inebriation style."
"So what? You want me to do a shot?"
"Oh, no. I want you to do five shots."
"Wow, the Peace Corps?"
"Yeah, I ship out tomorrow. Two years. You know, some people say the Peace Corp is the most noble thing a person can do. To those people I say, 'Is it?' And usually, they say, 'Yes, it is.'"
"But, Barney, they are so right. Wish there was something I could do."
"Oh, Tanya, I'm so glad you said that."
"Two days straight!"
"Wow! Your room must smell like a monkey cage."
"Come on, give us a number. Lily guessed eight, but I know my boy got the double digits!"
"Zero."
"What?!"
"$100 says when you turn around I say, Wow!"
"Barney, this is the third time you hit on me by accident!"
"It's one of the many risks of the blind approach. It's usually a two-man operation where Ted signals if the target is hot. But Ted's too busy being in a lesbian relationship."
"Why don't you just check out the girl's reflection in the bar mirror?"
"You can't... Wow!"
"So, what do you and Ted usually do after the Cigar bar?"
"Ha, Ha, Ha! Are you kidding? Ted's never been here. You've already flown higher and faster than he ever did. Still..."
"What?"
"Nah... There is one other thing we could do... If you're up for it."
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"Wow! I had no idea laser tag still existed!!!!"
4 1/2 out of 5 Stars
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