Review: This season has two of my favorite episodes, "Rapture's Delight" and "Merlot Down Dirty Shame".
Quotes:
"So, how'd the big night turn out?"
"It was... there's no word to describe it. Schmooblydong? That's not it, but it's close. Let... Let me try and put it in terms you can understand. Imagine being high at a Rusted Root concert while two dudes take you on in a sun-baked porta-john."
"Wow! That actually does sound really good."
"Yeah. I'd like that too."
"Apologize to Roger."
"Apologize? For what? For giving him power over an island full of half-naked Hispanic men? That's his dream...the the premise of three of his screenplays."
"When da Vinci first conceived of it, he called it an aerial screw."
"That seems a bit lewd."
"Well, da Vinci was a well known sexual deviant. You know that sketch of the naked man in the wheel? Blueprints for a rape machine."
"Wow, uncensored nudity! This game must be from Japan!"
"Unlikely. Those are women, not underage schoolgirls."
"Oh, my God! Stan!"
"Oh, he's doing his Heath Ledger impression. Too soon, Roger. Too soon."
"Who are you?"
"Roger's conscience."
"Oh, my God. You're dying of neglect."
"Kill me."
"Its not easy to regain someone's trust. It takes a long time, like building a house or pleasing a fat woman."
"When I turned 14, I took fiduciary responsibility for my mothers 401k. We discussed over Italian food. I had my first espresso, it kept me up all night. I fell asleep at dawn for five minutes and had a stress dream about the house burning down. Pretty good birthday."
"Stan, remember the first rule of every wedding is that the bride is beautiful. The second rule you can find on my website. You have be eighteen to log on. I have some sexy barnyard stuff on there that is not for everyone... I could get into a lot of trouble. If you do decide to check it out you need clear your history right away. You may have to uninstall your browser. I'm telling you, scrub that thing clean. If you think you're being too cautious, you're not. They will take us both to jail."
"Why is anger the only emotion you can express?"
"Because people make me mad all the time for being stupid about everything! Now pass me the fucking sweet potatoes!
"Spoiler alert, the sweet potatoes SUCK! How'd you get the sweet out of the potatoes, Frannie?"
"Oh, my God! The homeless guy from the bus station is HUNG... But I knew that."
"What's going on?"
"I'll tell you what's happening. It's the end of the world! AND WE'VE BEEN LEFT BEHIND!!
"It's the Rapture. Turns out there really IS a God."
"Oh, I love your religion ... for the crazy! Virgin birth. Water into wine. It's like Harry Potter, but it causes genocide and bad folk music. I hope I haven't missed the part where the three Chinese guys give perfume to the star baby. It’s like the diaries of a mad man!"
"Authorities confirm the total number of Raptured at 142 million. You may notice that my partner Greg isn't here, that's because he was Raptured. Apparently, God does love gays but only if they're Tops. Take it in the behind, you get left behind."
"Kneel before the Lord... punk."
"Stan, you have the undeserved ego of Jeremy Piven, the annoying self-righteousness of Sean Penn, and the unbearable hypocrisy of Rush Limbaugh. What I'm trying to say is, you're almost as bad a person as Rachael Ray."
5 out of 5 Stars
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