Film: Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

DVD: Enhanced 16x9


"You think this wise, boy... crossing blades with a pirate?"
"You threatened Miss Swann."
"Only a little."

Review: A surprisingly great movie based on the ride at Disneyland that holds up to repeat viewings. Johnny Depp steals every scene as Captain Jack Sparrow with great performances by the entire cast. A great mix of beautiful locations, production design, costumes and special effects really support an excellent script. Too bad the sequels didn't have the same coherent storyline to match.

"You'll be dining with the Captain. And he requests you wear this."
"Well, you may tell the Captain that I am disinclined to acquiesce to his request."
"He said you'd say that. He also said that if that be the case, then you'll be dining with the crew. And you'll be naked."

"So that's it, then? That's the secret, grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow. You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum."
"Welcome to the Caribbean, love."

"You best start believing in ghost stories, Miss Turner. You're in one."

4 out of 5 Stars

TV: Saturday Night Live - The Best of Eddie Murphy

DVD: 1 Disc


"Should I get in the hot tub? / Will it make me sweat? / Should I get in the hot tub? / Will it make me wet? / Well, Well, Well... Hot tub! / Here I go! / I'm gonna get in the water! / Gonna make me sweat! / I'm going in the hot tub! / HEEEEEEY!!!!! / Too hot in the hot tub! / Burn myself! / Make it cooler, good God! / I'm going to get in the hot tub. / I'm gonna get in the hot tub."

Review: This is a good collection of Saturday Night Live skits with Eddie Murphy. I forgot how much of his humor comes from his singing ability which he uses to great effect in several funny skits.

"Will you be mine? / Won't you be mine? / Won't you be my neighbor? / Hello, boys and girls. We're all alone today. You know why? My wife walked out on me. Isn't that nice? I'm so glad the bitch is gone. I can't..."
[RING, RING, RING]
"Who can that be? Let's see. This is how you answer the door in my neighborhood... WHO IS IT?!!!!"

"Hi, I'm Buh-Weet. Member me? I have complied for you and your nistening pleasure some of my pavorite songs. It's all here in this unpectacular offer, 'Buh-Weet Sings'. Take a wisten... Unce, Tice, Fee Tines a Mady."
"Yes, there all here."
"Wookin' Pa Nub in All Da Wong Places. / Wookin' Pa Nub."
"Once Buckwheat sings a song, it's eternally his."
"It Dat Deada Dabba, Dan on a Dina an Die / Made a Day fa Eyieee."

"Hello my name is Professor Shabazz K Martin. In 1895, at the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama, a BLACK MAN named George Washington Carver developed a new method of soul... SOIL improvement through crop rotation."
"Soul? Hee! Hee!"
"So I messed up. SHUT UP!!! STOP CLAPPING before you make me smile!"

"Look, look, Raheem. I'm not Opie Taylor and I'm not Richie Cunningham. I'm Ron Howard. I'm a grown man. Did you know I'm directing now? Did you see the movie I have out, Night Shift?"
"Was there any black people in it?"
"No."
"I didn't see it then. What was it about?"
"Oh well, it was a story about these two pimps..."
"It was a story about two pimps and wasn't no brothers in it. I don't know whether to say, Thank You, or punch you in your mouth, man."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: The Simpsons Movie (2007)

DVD: Anamorphic


"I can't believe we're paying to see something we get on TV for free! If you ask me, everybody in this theater is a giant sucker! Especially you!"

Review: I was not that excited to see this movie at first. While I loved the first nine seasons of the Simpsons, I had slowly lost interest in the show as the quality declined in later years. All that changed when I saw a preview of the movie highlighting Spider-Pig and I found myself crying with laughter. The movie turned out to be very funny and made excellent use of the widescreen format. I think bringing back allot of the earlier writers of the Simpsons helped make the movie a success.

"How did the pig tracks get on the ceiling?"
"Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig. / Does whatever a Spider-Pig does. / Can he swing? / From a web? / No, he can't. / He's a pig. / Look out! / He is the Spider-Pig!"

"Mr. President, you chose me, Russ Cargill, most successful man in America, to head the EPA, the least successful organization. That's why I've narrowed your choices down to five unthinkable options. Each one will cause untold misery and..."
"I pick Number Three!"
"Really? You don't want to read them first?"
"I was elected to LEAD, not to READ. Number Three!"

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Film: An American Tail (1986)

DVD: Full Screen - OAR


"In America, there are mouse holes in every wall."
"Who says?"
"Everyone. In America, there are bread crumbs on every floor."
"You're talking nonsense!"
"In America, you can say anything you want, but most important - and this I know for a fact - in America, there are no cats."

Review: This animated film still has the power to bring a tear to my eye when Fievel is reunited with his family. I think this is Don Bluth's closest attempt in matching the classic Disney films. It is full of catchy songs that stick in the head and the voice work of Fievel and his sister is too cute. Their duet is very moving.

"I'm your guard, Tiger. Don't make any sudden moves, 'cause I'm crafty and I'm quick. I've got the instincts of a cat. What am I saying? I am a cat."

"Oh, my little boy, back from the dead. America, what a place. My Fievel. I thought I would never see you again."
"Never say never, Papa."

4 out of 5 stars

Film: Borat (2006)

DVD: Anamorphic


"This is Natalya. She is my sister. She is number-four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan. Niiice!"

Review: Just as funny and uncomfortable the second time around. This is a movie/documentary of Americans trying to comprehend and interact with a foreign journalist who has very outdated ideas on gender, race, sex, and personal hygiene. Whether they respond with confusion, anger, helpfulness or delight in finding someone who shares their bigoted views, it is hilarious to watch. The DVD special features are great as well.

"Sometime my sister, she show her vagine to my brother, Bilo, and say... 'You will never get this. You will never get this. La-la-la-la-la-la.' He behind his cage. Crazy, Crazy. Everybody laughs. She go, 'You never get this.' Uh, but one time he break cage and he GET THIS and then we all laugh. High five!"
"Now, um, um. No, that would not be funny in America, okay?"

"Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?"
"No, no, no!"
"Not yet, huh? Why not?"
"Because a woman has the right to choose who she has sex with."
"WHAT?!"
"How about that? Isn't that amazing?"
"You joke?"
"There must be consent. That's good, huh?"
"Is not good for me."
"No, it is good."

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars