"You know what 'I'll cook' says? It says, 'Let's have sex.'"
"No, that would be, 'Come and spend the night with me.'"
"'Come and spend the night with me' says, 'Let's have sex'. 'I'll cook' says, 'Let's have sex and I'll cater.'"
Review: A raunchier version of "Friends" from merry olde England.
"See, it's different when you're a straight bloke. Right? When we finally get our hands on the gear, let me tell you, it's not a drill. You know, Gays, they've got their own practice kit, but you don't get any practice women. We're supposed to fly those babies the first time we get in 'em."
"I wish you would have mentioned this lesbian obsession when we were going out. At least then we could have had some threesomes."
"We could have had threesomes?"
"A couple of my girlfriends suggested it. I didn't think you would be interested."
"We could have had threesomes?"
"Well, there is no point going on about it now. Is there? It's too late."
"This isn't fair, I was going to have Patrick. Now you're having Patrick. And she's had Patrick lots of times. I'll be the only one who hasn't been Patricked."
"You're also the only one who hasn't been Steved."
"Oh, Jane. Steve's nice but Patrick is enormous."
"I love the word naked, it's brilliant, isn't it? Naked. When I was a kid I used to write the word naked hundreds of times on a bit of paper and rub my face in it. It's better than sex."
"Every morning I wake up glad I'm not you."
"I am actually going to propose any second. As soon as I know what her answer is... So I can assure you she's doing maximum stuff with me."
"Susan has commitment sex with Steve."
"Exactly!"
"Where as she had full sex with Patrick."
"She has full sex with me!!! More than full sex."
"I am naked and, indeed, pornographic in Patrick's video cupboard."
"I turned down my cupboard opportunity. Now, when I eventually sleep with Patrick, I'll be older. I could have stayed forever young in the cupboard of Patrick's love. I going to have to do him really soon before my bottom takes over my entire body."
4 out of 5 Stars
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